Who Do You Want to Win?

During protests at the Republican Convention, activists from Black Live Matter, the KKK, and Westboro Baptist Church ended up in a scrap where they were all throwing urine at each other.

Some people might have trouble knowing who to root for in that fight. Not me. I’m solidly Team Urine.

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Stop Thinking for Yourselves, That’s So Annoying

A new report shows that fewer Americans are now going into business for themselves.

At record lows – Americans starting businesses. At record highs – Obama finishing them.

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“Unimaginable” Under Hillary

The LA Times suggested that if Trump were elected, there might need to be a military coup against him.

Marking perhaps the first ever instance of the LA Times rooting for American troops.

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Obviously a Danger to the Entire Planet

North Korea said its latest ballistic missile tests were personally ordered by Kim Jong-Un and simulated nuclear strikes on US bases in South Korea.

President Obama was reportedly outraged, saying the test’s carbon footprint was unacceptably high.

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It’s a Matter of Degree, Really

During her speech at the Democrat Convention, Michelle Obama said that Hillary Clinton is “the only person I trust” to be President.

Bet she wouldn’t trust her to hold her wallet, though.

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Did Oppo Make This Sign?

An Italian restaurant in Albuquerque is taking some heat for promoting one of its dishes with the phrase “Black Olives Matter”.

Me, I’m just happy the Republican Convention didn’t touch “Pokemon GOP”

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…It’s How You Play the Game

In a recent speech, President Obama said “We don’t need careless accusations thrown around to score political points.”

That’s because liberals don’t keep score, so as to avoid hurting people’s feelings. However, everyone knows – no careless accusations, no participant ribbon.

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As Usual, Not a Well-Thought-Out Plan

A longtime White House adviser said that President Obama is hoping to be part of “a 16-year era of progressive rule”.

Don’t be silly. If we don’t take a decade of conservatism now & then, progressives won’t have any stuff to loot.

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Frankly, I’m More Afraid of Government Regulations Making Food Prohibitively Expensive

A panicky report from Bloomberg News frets that Americans are buying gene-edited food that’s not clearly labeled “GMO”.

Part of me thinks that’s terrible. Part of me is hoping to accidentally acquire supercool spider powers.

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Aren’t These the Same Democrats Who Want Our Medical Information Stored on Their Computers?

Hillary’s campaign manager claims that Russians hacked into the DNC’s servers and leaked embarrassing emails in order to help Trump.

I think the lesson here is – we should vote for the guy who the Russians DO want to be on the good side of.

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Whining Is the New Black

During an interview on CBS, Hillary Clinton said she feels as if she faces more scrutiny than other politicians: “I often feel like there’s the Hillary standard and then there’s the standard for everybody else.”

Is that the same standard that lets her wear an orange pantsuit instead of an orange jumpsuit?

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He Still Does a Mean Macarena, Though

Former Vice-President Al Gore said he planned to skip this year’s Democrat convention.

Logistical issues. They said he could come, but he’d have to bring his own snow removal team.

[title reference link (1:30)]

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I Think They Stole That From the Republican Platform

Safety first! Democrats have erected a 4-mile fence around the Democrat Convention site in Philly.

Ironically, more security than the DNC put around their email server.

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Obama Warned Us – Global Action

Add your name if you agree: Climate change is real and it’s going to take global action to tackle it. http://ofa.bo/uav #ActOnClimate
@BarackObama

“Also, I’m changing my name to Barack Global”

[with apologies to Dennis Miller]

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Democrat Convention Advice

Rob Reiner, Hollywood director, actor, and longtime supporter of Mrs. Clinton, said she should use the Democrat convention to tell the story of her life.

Actual only hope – tell a story that will help people forget about her life.

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