Archive for the ‘One-Shots’ Category

Nothing Special

Tuesday, September 2, 2014 8:00 pm

An Arizona sheriff said that ICE told him to release illegals and “treat them as any other citizen”.

So… they want him to eavesdrop on their phone calls?

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That’ll Fix It

Tuesday, September 2, 2014 4:00 pm

In Philadelphia, a disgruntled ex-cop carrying a loaded gun bypassed metal detectors at a federal building and entered the FBI’s office after flashing a fake police badge.

Just waiting for liberals to start demanding better metal detectors.

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Dead Giveaway

Tuesday, September 2, 2014 8:00 am

A new app tells you if the business you’re shopping at leans right politically.

Or, you can just check for their name in a Supreme Court case title.

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Bigger Fish

Monday, September 1, 2014 8:00 pm

During a speech in Hawaii, Secretary of State John Kerry said the global impact of climate change is “the biggest challenge of all that we face right now.”

Tell that to Christians in Muslim countries.

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Perfect Casting

Monday, September 1, 2014 12:00 pm

Out in Hollywood, the world’s smallest woman has scored a TV acting job.

In an upcoming bio-pic, she’ll be playing the part of Harry Reid’s conscience.

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Fit the Description?

Sunday, August 31, 2014 8:00 pm

A new report shows that the Obama administration released more than 600 illegal immigrants with criminal convictions.

So… they’re still just “undocumented”, even though their crimes weren’t?

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Will It Make a Difference This Time?

Sunday, August 31, 2014 12:00 pm

Deputy National Security Adviser Ben Rhodes said that President Obama has deployed a “limited number of advisers” to northern Iraq.

Uh oh… did he remember to check YouTube for offensive videos first?

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Remember, Only .005% of Americans Were at the Boston Tea Party

Saturday, August 30, 2014 8:00 pm

A new study claims that the preferences of the average American have only “statistically non-significant impact upon public policy”.

That’s the thing about Americans, though. When times get tough, we stop being average.

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So… Do You Play It on an Atari Console?

Saturday, August 30, 2014 12:00 pm

HHS paid $747,000 to develop a video game to teach to mothers of pre-school age kids how to get their children to eat vegetables.

Really? Last I checked, saying “no dessert until you finish them” is still free.

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Undocumented

Friday, August 29, 2014 8:00 pm

In Texas, a teenager managed to secretly live behind a stack of boxes for 3 days inside a Walmart.

I’m surprised Obama doesn’t grant him amnesty and declare him an employee.

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Give Them What They Deserve

Friday, August 29, 2014 4:00 pm

The Department of Education released a fact sheet which stated that illegal immigrant minors are “entitled to” a public education.

Ok, then start with a civics lesson – lawbreakers don’t get to stay.

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Next Step for Peace

Friday, August 29, 2014 8:00 am

UN Security Council plans to send a “strongly-worded” letter to ISIS insurgents in Iraq.

That’s a good plan. It’s written in exploding ink, right?

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It’s the Only Explanation

Thursday, August 28, 2014 8:00 pm

Now on the internet – a photo of President Obama dancing at a party on Martha’s Vineyard.

Fiddle must’ve been in the shop.

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They Really Need This Help

Thursday, August 28, 2014 4:00 pm

A pioneering new treatment is being tested that would allow a simple injection to aid the recovery of hundreds of thousands of heart failure patients.

Useful for people who’ve seen their new insurance premiums under Obamacare.

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They’ll Get It Right THIS Time

Thursday, August 28, 2014 8:00 am

A new report shows widespread timesheet fraud among US Patent Office workers who telecommute.

Say, isn’t this the same government that’s going to squeeze the waste out of healthcare?

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Welcome Him Warmly

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 8:00 pm

To prove a point, activist filmmaker James O’Keefe snuck across the border into the US while dressed as Osama bin Laden.

Since he was both illegal and dead, did he get to vote Democrat twice?

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Also, In His Mirror

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 4:00 pm

Speaking on human rights, President Obama said that, in America, there are still “areas where there are problems”.

The biggest area being by the East River in that building with all the flags in front of it.

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Just Did This Yesterday With My Phone

Wednesday, August 27, 2014 8:00 am

IBM has developed a new computer chip that mimics the way the human brain works.

Just think – we’re now on the threshold of having a robot capable of not being able to find the car keys while holding them in its hand.

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Miracle Technology!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014 8:00 pm

Scientists have developed a low-cost robot prototype that can put itself together and perform a task without human intervention.

Impressive. That makes it more advanced than the average Obama voter.

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Doth Protest Too Much

Tuesday, August 26, 2014 4:00 pm

A new report shows that Congressional Democrats have talked about the impeachment of President Obama 20 times more than Republicans have on the House floor.

Huh. Br’er Rabbit must really miss his briar patch.

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