Shortages Everywhere

California Governor Jerry Brown said his state is so cash-strapped that he’s considering making cuts to public pension benefits.

Unbelievable. Did Democrats finally ran out of taxes to raise?

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Also, I Didn’t Get a Harrumph From Him!

Democrat Congresswoman Maxine Waters wants to impeach President Trump for “name-calling” and showing “disrespect”.

Weird. Not recalling those asterisks on the First Amendment.

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Whiskey & Knives, Maybe; But Never Let Your Children Mess Around With Lawyers

A group of kids are suing the government, claiming that the government’s actions and failures to act have caused climate change.

I’ll support this action, but only if they indict the sun as a co-conspirator.

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Might Work Better

A new report shows that one in four nonbelievers resort to prayer when personal crisis strikes.

Try it before. Works better.

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Seems Out of Character

GM announced it will begin testing a new autonomous car that has no pedals or steering wheel.

Weird to think of a GM with no way to bail it out after it screws up.

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Is There Any Way to Blame This on Global Warming?

A government worker in Hawaii plunged the state into chaos by accidentally sending out an incoming-missile emergency alert.

Huh… probably just a distraction because someone was getting too close to Obama’s birth certificate.

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Probably Not Aimed at the Goldfish Market

A new report on future trends predicts that in 10 years, we’ll have a translator for pets.

Ironically, most of the pets people would like to have translated will be dead by then.

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Butter Your Bread Thickly

A new report shows that over 300 labor union offices across the country have convictions for embezzlement.

Shocking! I can’t believe so many unions got so far behind in their kickback payments.

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It’d Be Like Some Crazy Congressional “Spy vs. Spy” Comic!

A group of Democratic women in Congress plans to wear black to President Trump’s first State of the Union address later this month.

By contrast, Republicans plan to wear white, and dust everyone’s seat with chalk.

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If the World’s Ending, I Guess I Don’t Have to Pay My Taxes

Washington state’s Democratic Governor Jay Inslee warned there was “just 59 days” to save future generations from “an endless cycle of crop-killing droughts one year, and rivers spilling their banks the next.

What is “things James Bond villains say while holding the world hostage to their weather control machine,” Alex?

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Sadly, Having a Concealed Carry Permit Doesn’t Give You the Right to Shoot One

The LAPD promised strong oversight of the new drone surveillance aircraft program, promising that guns and facial-recognition technology will be prohibited.

Nightsticking motorists after high-speed chases is still on the table, though.

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A Little Fancy for a Book Shack, Ain’t It?

Being built into the new Obama Presidential Library: a basketball court, a yoga room, and a “test kitchen”.

Three new places you can go to not see Obama’s college transcripts.

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Probably Also Comes to Life Like in Toy Story

Now coming to market – a 65-inch TV that rolls up when not in use.

Big deal. My phone does that too. As far as I know. I’ve never had the opportunity to test that theory.

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I’ll Take This Since Underwater Basket Weaving Is Full Up

This semester, Florida Gulf Coast University is offering a class on “white racism“.

Let me guess… all the white people stare into mirrors while the rest of the class points at them. Not sure what vital life skill this is teaching.

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Obamacare Is the Model

In Washington DC, complaints about rats are up 64%.

I’ll propose a sure-fire fix: a government program to ensure that everyone gets an equal access to rats.

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