China Sets a Disquieting Precedent

A new report says that one Chinese company has replaced 40,000 workers with robots.

Liberals would be outraged if that happened in America. Unless the robots were imported illegally and made $15 an hour.

Send to Kindle

Never Give Up! Never Surrender!

At a fundraiser, President Obama denied Trump’s corruption allegations, saying “we have not had a major scandal in my administration“.

True. “Had” implies past tense and they’re all still ongoing.

[title reference link]

Send to Kindle

Exit Question: Is the Joker a Democrat?

Pulling no punches during a speech in Florida, Donald Trump said “the Clintons are criminals“.

Yup. And the worst part is they’re not even the awesome kind that says clever things while getting punched in the face by Batman.

Send to Kindle

One Side to Every Story

Donald Trump said the MSM’s bias is showing, and its reporters are “no longer involved in journalism“.

That’s a ridiculous accusation! “No longer” implies they once were.

Send to Kindle

If That’s Not Enough, There’s Always Intro to Philosophy

A new report shows that universities are increasingly offering nap pods and nap rooms to address “the sleep crisis on college campuses”.

Weird… you mean colleges have stopped offering Art History classes?

Send to Kindle

Tell Me More About That “Root Causes” Thing

A new study shows that, despite liberal assertions to the contrary, Islamic terrorism is not caused by people living in bad economies.

Although as Iraq proves, bad economies can certainly be caused by Islamic terrorism.

Send to Kindle

7.6 Trillion Reasons to Vote Trump

A new report shows that Hillary wants $1.4 trillion in new taxes, while Trump wants to cut taxes by $6.2 trillion.

Trump wants you to vote with your wallet. Hillary wants everyone else to vote with your wallet.

Send to Kindle

Could This Be More Than Just a NASA Problem?

A new study shows that cosmic rays could damage the brains of astronauts during a trip to Mars.

Huh. If cosmic rays are really that dangerous, maybe they need to put more shielding on Hillary’s pneumonia van, just in case.

Send to Kindle

Maybe the Problem Is That It Needs to Be Widened Into a Doorway, Instead

Democrat Ann Ravel, who sits on the board of the Federal Election Commission, wants to close a “loophole” that allows unregulated online videos and promotions of campaigns and policies.

Ah… “loophole”. “We didn’t strip you of all your rights on the first go round, so we’re having another bite at your freedom apple”.

Send to Kindle

I Know the REAL Reason the Feds Are After Sheriff Joe

Federal prosecutors said they will pursue a criminal-contempt charge against Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio for defying orders to halt his immigration-enforcement operations.

Apparently the SUVs he does border patrols in are a global warming threat.

Send to Kindle

A Sufficient Thickness of Anything Is Bullet-Proof

According to recently-released emails, then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton once booted her State Department security detail from her plane so that a pair of Clinton Foundation officials could catch a ride.

Makes sense. Who needs guys with guns to protect you when you can just dodge bullets behind stacks of gray-money cash donations?

Send to Kindle

If Understatement Were a Crime, This Would Get Biden Sent to Fiorina 161

Oops… while attempting to fire up an audience at a Clinton rally, Joe Biden said “I know some of you aren’t crazy about Hillary”.

As motivational speeches go, not exactly Blutarsky’s “when the German’s bombed Pearl Harbor“.

[title reference link]

Send to Kindle

Smart Enough to Bring a Wiping Cloth

Newly-released emails show that a Hillary spokesman said that his candidate “suffers in performance” when she is interviewed by someone with a “lesser intellect”.

A nice way, I suppose, of saying “the moron reporter forgot to BleachBit the blooper reel!”

Send to Kindle

Spending? How Could THAT Be the Problem?

Hillary Clinton plans to raise taxes by over a trillion dollars, and there won’t be a single tax rate cut for anyone.

Finally! Someone who understands that if we just give the government more money, they’ll be able to fix the problems they said they would fix the last time they said we needed to give them more money.

Send to Kindle

Or Change Them to French, Then Everyone Will Be Equally Unhappy

A Pennsylvania town is debating whether to change its street signs into Spanish.

Better idea: leave them in English and if you need a Spanish translation, call City Hall and press 2.

Send to Kindle