One More Liberal Would Make This Happen

A New York Times editorial advocated for a new law allowing a secret court to take away citizens’ right to own a gun at the discretion of the federal government.

So… is this something new, or just another piece advocating confirming Obama’s SCOTUS nominee?

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Take Them at Their Word

Iran’s Ayatollah Khamenei said “the Islamic Republic won’t be the first to violate the nuclear deal. Staying faithful to a promise is a Koranic order”.

Ah… the same country that’s always promising “death to America”?

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Nothing Is Not Always the Smart Thing to Say

President Obama criticized Donald Trump for “rhetoric and loose talk and sloppiness” about Muslims.

Which is still more useful than Obama’s creepy, redacted silence.

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Blue Pill, Please

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg predicted that we’ll be plugged into “The Matrix” within 50 years.

Are you kidding? In 50 years, we’ll still be figuring out if the Architect’s speech was deeply meaningful or a Wachowski Brothers inside joke for Philosophy majors.

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The Things Obama Will Do for Attention

President Obama traveled to Yellowstone in a 40-car motorcade to give a speech about the dangers of global warming.

That didn’t make him a hypocrite. Jetting out there in Air Force One already did that.

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Though, Unlike Hillary, I’m Always Awake at 3am

A new study shows that people who sleep twice a day for shorter periods of time are actually more alert.

I already do that. Except my second period tends to be zero a lot.

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A Wholly-Owned Subsidiary of

A new report shows that Saudi Arabia has funded 20% of Hillary’s presidential campaign.

Huh. Didn’t know China was selling stock in their property.

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Consider the Source – Then Reject It Soundly

After the Orlando shootings, the UN Human Rights Chief said that what America needs is “robust gun regulation.”

We already have that. Our laws say we can keep and bear arms and use them on anyone who tries to take them away. Doesn’t get much more robust than that.

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A new report shows that Obamacare premiums are set to skyrocket again to adjust for distortions in the insurance marketplace caused by the program.

Sure, you’re a slave, but you get the pick the color of the chains you wear. And pay for them.

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They’ll Be Back

Now circulating at Yale – a petition to remove several prominent white male poets from their English Literature courses.

No word on if they’ll be implementing the plan using Cyberdyne Systems 800 Series Model 101s

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Hillary’s Most Prominent Character Trait

A new poll shows that 60% think Hillary Clinton is lying about having illegally mishandled classified emails.

The other 40% said they didn’t need the last 6 words to answer “yes”.

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President Obama will be leaving office with a lower overall satisfaction average of any president since Jimmy Carter.

It’s close, though. Obama’s probably just one failed Iranian hostage rescue away from winning the title.

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From Money Pit to Money Mountain

Nancy Pelosi bragged about government spending: “in this smart phone almost everything came from federal investments and research… GPS, created by the military, flat screens… digital camera, wireless data compression…federal research invented it.”

What the feds didn’t invent – a way to make any of it profitable.

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Not Even a Smidgen

White House press secretary Josh Earnest insisted that President Obama’s endorsement of Hillary Clinton will not “sway” the ongoing FBI investigation into Clinton.

“Derail”, maybe, but not “sway”.

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Disproportionate Response

California says it wants illegal immigrants to get Obamacare.

Seems kinda harsh. Can’t we just let them off with a waterboarding?

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