Archive for the ‘One-Shots’ Category

Danger!

Thursday, May 28, 2015 8:00 pm

Experts are urging caution over exposure to electromagnetic radiation from smartphones.

Seems overblown. I would think the big concern would be leaving your faceprint on a light pole while text-walking.

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It Defines Him

Thursday, May 28, 2015 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Springer’s Blog]

(See also)

[reference link]

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Obvious Symbolism

Thursday, May 28, 2015 4:00 pm

Caught on video: a family of bears chasing tourists around Yellowstone.

I dare you to watch it and not think of Putin handling Obama.

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Safety First

Thursday, May 28, 2015 8:00 am

A new report shows that Google’s self-driving cars have had only 11 minor accidents in the last 6 years.

That’s impressive. Joe Biden gets more than that in one cross-town motorcade.

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We Had This Coming

Wednesday, May 27, 2015 8:00 pm

A new UN human rights report bashed the US for “excessive use of force by law-enforcement officials”

Ah… NYPD must’ve given Ban Ki-moon another speeding ticket.

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Mostly True

Wednesday, May 27, 2015 8:00 am

A new report alleges that President Obama completely made up a number of details about the raid that killed Osama bin Laden.

Not sure if that includes his score when they interrupted his golf game to tell him about it.

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Hard Knock Life

Tuesday, May 26, 2015 8:00 pm

During a speech in Alabama, Michelle Obama talked about how hard it is to be the First Lady.

On the upside, though: she never has to eat a school lunch named after her.

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Ambitious Plans

Tuesday, May 26, 2015 4:00 pm

Looking ahead, President Obama said “I intend to get as much done in the next 22 months as possible”.

I *really* hope he only meant on the golf course.

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Better Things to Do

Tuesday, May 26, 2015 8:00 am

The new Saudi King is skipping a meeting with President Obama at Camp David, but insisted “this is not a snub”.

True. Before you can snub someone, you have acknowledge their existence.

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Probably Just Following Orders, Too

Monday, May 25, 2015 8:00 pm

Asked why he isn’t defending the Clinton Foundation as it comes under increasing scrutiny, Bill Clinton replied “I just work here. I don’t know.”

Helpful hint: pleading ignorance works better when your name’s not on the door.

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Qualified

Monday, May 25, 2015 12:00 pm

President Obama said that the root cause of unrest in Baltimore is “there are not enough jobs,”.

But I’m sure that’ll change now that so many people can add looting and arson to their resumes.

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I Don’t Want to Be From the Planet This Flag Represents

Monday, May 25, 2015 8:00 am

Someone thinks this is the flag the first man on Mars should plant:

The flag is blue to represent the importance of water to life on Earth. Seven rings (standing in for the seven continents) interlock to form a flower, suggesting the interconnection of the world, regardless of territory or nationality.

Personally, I say “flag of the Mirror Universe Terran Empire, or nothing”:

What say you?

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Starting a Trend?

Sunday, May 24, 2015 8:00 pm

Portland, Oregon is now home to the world’s first vegan mini-mall.

Is it bad that my first thought is “I could make killing opening a steakhouse across the street”?

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Discovery

Sunday, May 24, 2015 12:00 pm

A new report shows that 200 billion barrels of oil may lay beneath the Antarctic ice.

That’s good news. Obama was running out of promising places to close to drilling.

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#SafeSpace

Saturday, May 23, 2015 8:00 pm

A federal court ruled that investigators do not need a search warrant to obtain cellphone tower location records

If you want total privacy, guess you’ll need to rent space on Hillary’s email server.

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Broken Windows Theory

Saturday, May 23, 2015 12:00 pm

Baltimore’s Mayor said that owners of looted stores should rebuild instead of leaving, calling it a “smart investment”.

Only if they’re selling guns, alarms, or private security.

[title reference link]

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The Times They Are A-Changin’

Friday, May 22, 2015 8:00 pm

In San Francisco, one business owner said he supported a minimum wage hike, until he did the math and found out what it’d cost him.

Yup. Sometimes a conservative is just a liberal who ran out of other people’s money.

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Technically, “Privileged” Class

Friday, May 22, 2015 4:00 pm

Public schools near DC are considering making “gender identity” a protected class.

Good luck. All this will get them is dudes wearing prom dresses saying “you can’t flunk me!”

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Carpe Diem

Friday, May 22, 2015 8:00 am

A new poll shows that 60% view Hillary Clinton as “strong” or “decisive”.

Absolutely. No one has hesitated less to hit “delete all” on an email server.

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Improvement of a Sort

Thursday, May 21, 2015 8:00 pm

Reflecting on 50 years of Great Society spending programs, Democrat Congressman Chris Van Hollen said “it has not been a failure”.

True. Inner city youths can now start fires better than Boy Scouts.

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