I, For One, Am Looking Forward to a Good Dose of Abby… Someone

In a speech to Harvard grads, failed Democrat and former anti-war hero John Kerry told students “this is not a normal time“.

A fact which anyone with a dime in the stock market or a gas tank to fill up is doing cartwheels over.

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I’m Seeing Chelsea Clinton’s Future

A University of Central Florida student was arrested after hacking into UCF’s computers to change his failing grade.

Too bad he didn’t cover his tracks… well, he can always get a job installing secret email servers for Democrats.

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Although MOABs Are More Photogenic

Now on the battlefield: tiny drones that fit in a soldier’s uniform that they can launch from the palm of their hand.

Interesting… every terrorist’s last thought will now be “awwwww… that’s so cute!”

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Possibly Buried Under a Fallen Stack of Old Newspapers

A new survey shows that 42% of Americans won’t date someone with bad credit.

So basically anyone working for the federal government will die alone, surrounded by cats.

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And Amazon Could Get It There in Two Days for Free!

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos said he is already planning to have his space company, Blue Origin, build a city on the moon.

Say… we’ve got a great idea for building everyone’s basement at once

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Wait… Washington & Colorado Already Do That…

The Los Angeles school board passed a resolution forbidding ICE agents to take illegals into custody at public schools.

Next up: forbidding cops to bust drug dealers on school grounds.

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Round Up the Usual Suspects

The head of the California Democratic Party African American Caucus said he was working with state party officials to determine who was responsible for cutting off the sound to Maxine Waters’ microphone as she spoke to the group at the party’s convention.

Let’s play Liberal Clue. It was Trump in the Kremlin with the Comey firing.

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I Do It By Idling My SUV While Listening to His Speech. OK, I Don’t Actually *Listen*…

In Italy to give a speech on global warming, former President Obama arrived in a private jet, took over an entire Tuscan resort village, and were driven everywhere by a 13-car motorcade.

Huh… wonder how poor people fight global warming.

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Also, the Cat’s Litter Box

Now trending: dog TV that aims to keep your canine amused while you’re not home.

Nah. That’s why I have garbage cans… apparently.

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As Long As He Doesn’t Nibble Them Into the Shape of a Gun, We’re OK

Oops! Just released – footage of a Palestinian hunger strike leader eating cookies.

Probably just trying to get into Yale

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In Both Cases, He’s Right

In Saudi Arabia, President Trump warned those choosing terrorism, “your life will be empty, your life will be brief, and your soul will be condemned”.

Weird… isn’t that the same thing he said to the Republicans who voted against the border wall?

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Most Places Are Tearing These Down

China is sending an 18-foot tall statue of Karl Marx to his home town in Germany to mark the 200th anniversary of his birth.

I’m betting that, like when he lost the Olympics to Rio, Obama was really sad he couldn’t get this one.

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End of an Era, or the Beginning of a Much Worse Era

After 146 years of dazzling crowds all over the world, the Ringling Brothers Circus has given its final performance

Sad day for those who like circuses and clowns, but at least we still have MSNBC.

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No Comment From the Empty Chair

At the age of 86, Clint Eastwood is now considering a return to acting.

I hope he does. Way too many punks out there feeling lucky

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Actually, It’s People from the Government Trying to Help Us

In a recent article, billionaire investor Warren Buffet warned that cyberattacks are “the number one problem for mankind.”

Nah… I’ve watched enough movies to know it’s bored kids wanting to play online tic-tac-toe

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