You may have seen this:

Or even heard the story of how this poster is showing up in the streets of San Francisco.

The left thinks they’ve found the answer to this:

Nope, sorry. Lacks brevity and elegance. I guarantee that even after staring at their Palin poster for 30 seconds and reading it half a dozen times, no one will remember what it said.

Not that I expect much from the clown who created it. Here’s another one of his crap “art” pieces:

The text, for those who can’t read his bitter, childish scrawl, begins:

You’re big.
You’re dumb.
You’re white.
You drink beer and watch the NFL because it mirrors your approach to conflict.
You over-consume and under achieve.
You think you are this nation.
You think you are the heir to this nation.
You have traded our legacy for mitigated fear and complacency.
You distrust intellectuals and aspire to stagnation.
You rent spaces to store things you never needed.

There’s a lot more, but it’s boring and pedantic. Besides, you get the idea. The “artist” is a brutish, petulant child with a mouthful of gimme, whose sad efforts at creation consist largely of defacing things that others consider good and beautiful. A rebel without a sense of taste or decency.

Anyway, because I’m smarter than him, I’m going to create the viral leftist Palin poster that he didn’t the have brains to make:

A memorable, brief, and pointed statement of what the left believes Sarah stands for. Startling for its stark contrast between the darkness of the word, and the angelic whiteness of its letters, the ugliness of the concept, and the conformity of its subject to accepted societal norms of beauty.

I think it’s pretentious enough to suit their needs.

So why am I helping out the liberals like this?

So I can make fun of them later by posting this parody:

What can Sarah Palin do?

The better question is: What can Sarah Palin not do?

I discovered just how talented and versatile she is. She can quarterback Auburn University.

No, really. Look:

Source: Columbus Ledger-Enquirer

It surprised me, to say the least.

With her leading Auburn on the gridiron, I suspect she’s completely lost all the Boise State and Texas Christian fans. All 20 of them.

[hat tip: Peregrine John]

Now we just need to find that blond kid with the robot hand and the daddy issues she’s been mentoring and get him to run for elective office.

The second most beautiful, intelligent, and charming Sarah in the world (Frank’s missus, of course, being the first), is turning 45 today, so the question naturally arises: what’s an appropriate birthday present for the woman who proved that global warming isn’t man-made, but is in fact woman-made, as a result of her personal hotness?

Some people think the right thing is a snarky, condescending column written by a inexplicably-obsessed left-winger who seems a little miffed that Palin got more Google searches than Obama.

Knowing Sarah, she’ll probably smile politely at that one and say “thank you very much for that thoughtful gift”, because that’s just the kind of classy dame she is.

Meanwhile, let’s see what else is on the gift list:

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“… and yes, I *do* plan on jumping out of my own cake.”

* WhySarahPalinIsSoFreakingAwesome. A gift that EVERYONE can share. If you haven’t gone there either yet or lately, go now. I guarantee that if you’re not delighted, you are either dead or liberal. Remember to hit the “older posts” link at the bottom of the page so you can see all the coloring contest entries.

* A camoflage moose-rifle. With a pink trigger. Because deep down, Sarah’s really kind of a girly-girl.

* A electoral college recount that shows that – at the last minute, and in secret – all the electors decided to vote their conscience and do what’s best for the future of America, thus making Sarah Palin the first unanimously-elected President since George Washington.

* Katie Couric’s perky little interview-editing, hatchet-jobbing head on a pike.

* [pause]… lipstick.

* Wolves. Dead ones. Entrance wounds on the top, exit wounds on the bottom. Lots of ‘em.

* Coupon for free surgical removal of the knives that McCain & company stuck in her back after the election.

* Drilling so many oil wells in ANWR that space aliens viewing it from orbit would think that Alaska was being devoured by a giant radioactive porcupine.

* A GoateeSaver. Technically it’s a gift for Todd, but Sarah’s the one who has to look at that scruffy thing every day.

* My promise to vote for her in 2012. PleasePleasePleasePleasePleeeeeeeeease?

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I heard Bill Clinton’s buying her a blue dress, but that’s probably just a rumor.

What are YOU getting Sarah for her birthday?

After reading this post about the wonders of Sarah Palin and the idiocy of liberals, Reader NunyaB has started a blog:

Why Sarah Palin Is So Freaking Awesome

And Nunya is holding a coloring contest featuring the wolf picture mentioned in the post.

Here’s a link to the pdf picture.

Here are nice, clean, .png files of the image, suitable for messing with in MS Paint or other drawing programs:

With annoying “please stop killing wolves” text.

Without.

Here’s a tiny, artifact-ridden, not-suitable-for-coloring .jpg file so you can see what we’re talking about if you’re too lazy to click a link:

Now color it up and send it to: i8nunya (at) aol (dot) com

Here at IMAO, we usually focus on the negative. And mock it mercilessly. But today I celebrate the positive.

Celebutard Ashley Judd (Who? I have no idea. I’m guessing she’s one of those no-talent, casting-couch pass-arounds that’s famous for being famous.) has offered her imprimatur to a site called EyeOnPalin.org. Upon hearing the news, I assumed it was just another Palin slander site like SarahPalinExposed.com or ABC.

Boy was I ever wrong.

This site has everything a Palin fan could want. Except maybe significant quantities of frequently updated content. But that tiny flaw aside, what it does have is magnificent.

Start with the header banner:

She hates wolves! She hates ALL wildlife! Plus that picture that makes guys with a librarian fetish go weak in the knees.

And it gets better. She’s got a freakin BODY COUNT!:

That’s right. Sarah Palin not only kill wolves, she kills them FROM A MOVING AIRPLANE!

Not quite as cool as belittling Democrats from a stationary podium, but a close second in my book.

Plus the site give all these great reasons to vote for Sarah Palin if she blesses us by running in 2012. These headlines practically write their own campaign commercial:

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* Palin battles for ANWR drilling

* Palin does no favors for musk oxen

* Palin supports in-state gas line

* Palin Fights Endangered Listing for Belugas

* First wolves, now polar bears

* Environmentalists Assail Palin

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This awesome Palin video wasn’t on the site, but was available at the link above:

I love that headline at the 12 second mark.

Oh, and there’s something for the kiddies. A pdf drawing of a wolf for your wee ones to print out and color. Please note they have to draw in their own airplanes and streaming bullets, which is probably just the site’s way of encouraging children to develop their artistic skills.

But if I had to choose the thing I like best about the site, it would be the fact that the WORST picture they could find of Sarah Palin looks better than the BEST picture they could find of Ashley Judd.

Consider this one bookmarked.

[photo courtesy of Jimmy]

A holiday ponderment:

Why would Sarah Palin kill Rudolph?

Here are my theories:

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* He wouldn’t stop humming “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”.

* She found out he was the real father of Bristol’s baby.

* He called her “Tina”.

* She does that to everyone who claims that Article I of the Constitution defines the role of the Vice President. Haven’t you noticed how twitchy Biden’s been since the debate?

* It wasn’t Palin. Cheney mistook Rudolph for a lawyer.

* We’ll never know the real reason, because it’s locked up in a vault in Hawaii next to Obama’s birth certificate.

* From a distance, that nose can easily be mistaken for a laser sight. Any sane jury would call that self-defense.

* Halloween, a moose costume, and someone who didn’t say “trick or treat” fast enough.

* Sarah’s just the patsy. It was really the guy on the grassy knoll.

* Palin hates political corruption, and Rudolph was Senate Candidate Number 5

* He was the one who told George Lucas “Episode I really needs a goofy animated character to act as the plucky comic relief”.

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What’s YOUR conspiracy theory?

A front row seat, a fist full of singles, and Sarah Palin wearing nothing but high heels and a smile.

[Hat tip: Reuters - Think they'll ever publish a photo of Biden that doesn't show his face?]

With the Vice Presidential debate on October 2nd, you just know Joe Biden’s wetting himself in terror, because there’s no way he comes out of this looking classy. Either he beats a girl or he gets beaten by a girl, so he has to choose between looking like a bully or pansy, neither of which looks good on a political resume (just ask John Edwards).

But before the outcome, there is the process of the debate, and lurking in the longest 90 minutes of Biden’s life are his deepest, darkest fears…

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* Palin will mistake his hair plugs for antlers and he’ll wind up on her trophy wall.

* He’ll gaffe on a softball foreign policy question because he was too busy fantasizing about being Palin’s microphone.

* Just before the debate, he’ll be forced to smack himself in the head with a hammer to get that stupid “Sing for Change” song out of his head:

* Maybe it’s just nerves, but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s gonna get creamed in the swimsuit competition.

* When he looks at his wrist to read the name off HIS soldier’s bracelet, he’ll mispronounce “Made in China”.

* Not knowing whether, after the debate, he’s expected to shake hands with Palin or rub noses.

* “Oh God, PLEASE don’t let me tell Gwen Ifill to ‘stand up‘”.

* “Or say ‘it’s great to be here in Kansas City‘.”

* The haunting question: if he strikes Sarah Palin down, will she become more powerful than he can possibly imagine?

* Knowing that his face will look weirdly rainbow-colored to the television audience as the stage lights prism off his flop-sweat.

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Worst of all, he’s got to go through this whole thing knowing that Obama’s sitting at home, white-knuckling the arms of his recliner trying to keep himself from calling Hillary.