Poll: What’s your favorite day that serves no actual purpose?

September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. No, there is no actual purpose to it, but it’s still a thing. So…

What's your favorite day that serves no actual purpose?

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Poll: What’s your favorite pizza?

What's your favorite pizza?

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Poll: What is your favorite Apple product?

This is the week of Apple’s big Autumn announcements of products and services. Many popular devices have been introduced over the last several years. Which brings us to this week’s poll:

What is your favorite Apple product?

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Poll: Which television show best exemplifies America today?

Which television show best exemplifies America today?

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Poll: Which super villain would be a better president than the current batch of candidates?

There is general dissatisfaction by Americans with the presidential candidates picked by Americans. Perhaps the problem isn’t that they are all awful, it’s that they aren’t awful enough. With that in mind…

Which super villain would be a better president than the current batch of candidates?

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Poll: Which meteor are you most looking forward to ending it all?

After looking over all the candidates for President, many have come to the conclusion that the best to hope for is a meteor to end it all. But even that’s not a simple choice to make. It turns out there are two major meteor candidates:

And that’s our poll question: Which meteor are you most looking forward to ending it all?

Which meteor are you most looking forward to ending it all?

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Poll: Who do you support in the 2016 U.S. presidential election?

Who do you support in the 2016 U.S. presidential election?

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What Should Be the New Name for Soccer?

(Trying to settle an argument we’re having in the comments to this post)

What Should Be the New Name for Soccer?

  • Yawnball (53%, 107 Votes)
  • Girlieball (34%, 68 Votes)
  • Ladyball (13%, 27 Votes)

Total Voters: 202

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Republican strategy to beat Obama

The good news for Republicans recently has been that polls have shown that a generic Republican beats Obama. The bad news is that when “generic Republican” is replaced with an actual Republican, Obama wins.

Not any more.

Latest polling shows that some actual Republicans beat, tie, or are within the poll’s margin of error, according to ABC News:

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney leads Obama by a 48 percent to 46 percent margin, while Texas Gov. Rick Perry ties the president at 47 percent. Obama bests Ron Paul by a 47-45 divide and Michele Bachmann by 48-44 split. All results are within a 4-point margin of error.

What does this mean?

I dunno. Does anyone know what Americans’ political thought processes are? I mean, a majority of voters actually elected Obama in 2008. So you can’t depend on most American voters to do anything that makes sense. So I’m not sure we can make any sense out of this poll.

But I’m not going to let that stop me from trying.

Maybe this means that Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Ron Paul (RONPAUL!!!1!!1!!!!), and Michele Bachmann are actually generic Republicans.

All this time, I thought Tim Pawlenty was. But, since T-PAW decided to drop out of the race, theres an opening for a generic Republican. And, it’s being filled by fake conservative (but good-for-business) Mitt Romney, almost conservative (but plays one on TV) Rick Perry, speaks right when facts aren’t involved (John Wayne/John Wayne Gacy, Elvis’ birthday/death day) Michele Bachmann, or sh*t-house rat crazy Ron Paul (RONPAUL!!!1!!1!!!!).

What about the other Republicans? For example, my guy, Herman Cain?

They didn’t ask. At least, when I read the full poll, I didn’t see where they paired up Cain and Obama. But, among Republicans, Cain and Perry has the smallest “unfavorable/strongly unfavorable” totals. As for favorable, Cain and Romney came in second in “favorable/strongly favorable” to Rudy Guiliani, who’s not running.

What all this means is that a lot of Republicans can beat Obama. Maybe even more than they poll.

This shows what the Republican strategy for 2012 will be: don’t be Obama.

Which sort of screws it up for Huntsman, who worked for the guy. But maybe not. Remember Romneycare and Obamacare? Mostly a matter of scale. But Romney beats Obama. So, maybe not even Jon “Obama’s a remarkable leader” Huntsman should be counted out.

Still, not being Obama looks like a winning strategy. Particularly since Obama appears to be still blaming Bush for everything.

“I’m not Obama” beats “I’m not Bush” hands down.

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Patriotic Battle of the Bands

Here’s “We the People”, by Lloyd Marcus – a conservative with some vocal talent – who bills this as “the NEW Tea Party Unity Song”:


[YouTube direct link]

The title (NOT the actual content) of the above song put me in mind of an old Schoolhouse Rock short called “The Preamble”:


[YouTube direct link]

Do me a favor:

Watch both of these and vote for your favorite.

Which song do you like better, "We the People" or "The Preamble"?

  • The Preamble (81%, 152 Votes)
  • We the People (19%, 36 Votes)

Total Voters: 188

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Feel free to discuss the reasons for your choice in the comments.

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Poll: Should Barack Obama Fail?

There’s been a lot of chatter about whether or not the president should fail. Really, the only way to settle this important matter is with a pointless poll. And, by they way, failure to vote in this poll could be catastrophic for the economy and your complexion.

Should Barack Obama fail?

  • Hasn't he failed already? Don't most presidents have, y'know, a government by now? (54%, 600 Votes)
  • Yes, if I can say that without seeming racist. (24%, 266 Votes)
  • Which answer do I get bailout/stimulus money for? Cuz I pick that one. (13%, 146 Votes)
  • Well, a piece of excrement that big WOULD be awfully difficult to pass. (7%, 74 Votes)
  • No, if he fails who will they have on all the TV shows and magazine covers? Brangelina? (2%, 17 Votes)
  • He's not that ethnic looking guy on American Idol is he? (1%, 11 Votes)

Total Voters: 1,114

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The most trusted name in made-up news

According to a recent Zogby poll, “37.6% of those surveyed, news sources on the Internet are considered to be the most reliable.”

More than Fox News. More than CNN. More than MSNBC. More than the New York Times.

Think about that for a minute.

I mean, if people believe the Internet more than news organizations, does that mean that they don’t trust CNN, but do trust CNN.com?

I don’t think so.

There’s something else on the Internet they trust. And what could that be?

BLOGS!!!

Yes, blogs — such as this blog — are the most trusted source of news. That has to be it!

As a dues-paying member of the Internets, I, for one, am proud of the faith you have placed us.

Misplaced faith, to be sure. But we’re not about to let your misguided notions of who to trust go to our heads.

We’ll continue to make up stuff about liberals, never ceasing, never tiring, never stopping, ever growing, ever moving, ever rising till … well, you get the idea.

Like CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, the New York Times, or any of those “news organizations,” we’ll continue to be make stuff up and to have a tremendous bias.

Unlike CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, the New York Times, or any of those “news organizations,” we’ll continue to be open and honest about making stuff up and about our bias.

You can trust us on that.

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Exit Poll Opinion Poll

Like many of you, I watched the election returns on Tuesday night.  After a while of watching the plethora of exit polling data, I formed a strong opinion about them.

Thinking back to that night, I got curious about IMAO reader opinions regarding 2008 exit poll data.  So I thought I’d ask them-you.

Do you like watching exit poll data?

  • #3^^ NO! (66%, 549 Votes)
  • No, not really. (21%, 175 Votes)
  • Yes, they are fascinating. Too bad they had to interrupt them with actual election results. (13%, 109 Votes)

Total Voters: 833

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