African-American Friday

Today is what used to be called “Black Friday,” the day after Thanksgiving, and one of the busiest shopping days of the year.

The origin of the term is in dispute. It’s commonly thought of as the day that helps retailers go “in the black” (turn a profit) because of the large volume of sales. Early references, however, indicate that the term was coined by transit drivers to refer to troublesome traffic because of the large amount of shoppers’ traffic.

Whatever the origin, it’s become a good thing, with the sales/profit aspect being most common in people’s thoughts.

But, can we still call it “Black Friday?” Isn’t that racist?

You see, sales and profit are hallmarks of capitalism. And capitalism is supported by conservatives — even by conservatives that don’t know they’re conservative. And, since capitalism is tied to conservatives, it must be racist. So, “Black Friday” is racist.

How do we fix it?

Easy. Call it “African-American Friday.”

I know. You’re saying, “That’s stupid.” And, you’d be right. But it’s no more stupid than calling blacks “African-American.” For example, what about Naomi Campbell? Or Lennox Lewis? Or Robin Szolkowy? You can’t call them “African-American.” Unless you’re that CNN anchor who I heard call a Black Briton an “African-American Briton” before stammering slightly and continuing on with the story.

Okay, okay, enough with the logic. On with the show.

Today is “African-American Friday.” Grab your Led Zeppelin IV, throw it in your car stereo, crank up “African-American Dog” and go shopping. You may have someone on your Christmas list who wants a new “African-American & Decker” power tool, so be sure to stop by the hardware store. And, don’t forget college football this weekend. It’s rivalry week, and one of the games in the SEC will be the Bulldogs from Mississippi State hosting the Ole Miss “African-American Bears.”

But, I’m sure there are many other ways to celebrate “African-American Friday.” Find an appropriate way.

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Oh, Look… The Left Found Something to Be Offended About

This picture:

With this caption:

Now you know why — No birth certificate.

Let’s be honest.

George W. Bush has short hair and big sticky-out ears – he looks like a chimp

Obama has short hair and big sticky-out ears – he also looks like a chimp.

Michelle Obama does NOT have short hair and big sticky-out ears – she does, however look like Lursa.

Exit question: how come I had to paw through half of Google to find this picture, even though dozens of sites are mentioning it, yet the liberal media had no problem slapping me upside the head with Abu Ghraib photos every day for a month?

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Who’s people?

Are you white? Then you’re not Eric Holder’s people.

[Direct link]

Holder concluded his comments saying that the Department of Justice doesn’t let race figure into its decisions. Even though race figures into his thinking, I suppose.

But, perhaps he wasn’t lying. Perhaps he was telling the truth when he said race wasn’t a factor. That would mean that “my people” wasn’t referring to any particular race of people. Perhaps it referred to another group of people.

Like who?

  • Idiots
  • Morons
  • Socialists
  • A**holes
  • Mustache-Americans
  • Attorneys
  • New York Yankees fans
  • Snake oil salesmen

See? Race doesn’t enter into it.

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Just Asking

So… since Obama has officially made it ok to call black people mongrels, is it now also officially ok for me to say that Obama has big, sticky-out chimp-ears and bears more than a passing resemblance to Curious George?

And, in closing, allow me to state the blindingly obvious question that’s currently clanging around in everyone’s skull:

“Holy s***! What would’ve happened if President John McCain had said that?”

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Playing cards. Race cards.

The circus was in the area this week. Oh, wait, it was just Al Sharpton. Different clown entirely.

How did Sharpton’s appearance work out? Great, as far as I’m concerned. His candidate lost.

Speaking of crazy racists calling other people racist…

The NAACP was visited by Michelle Obama, who said the group must “increase its intensity.” They did that by calling the TEA Party racist. They actually said “elements”were racist. And, of course, by elements, they mean “white people.”

Just who are these Colored People that National Association is looking to Advance? Of course, if they changed their name to the current “correct word/phrase” for blacks, they’d be the NAAAA. Which might not be a bad idea. Sounds like a bunch of sheep, mindlessly following their shepherd. Or Judas goat.

But maybe NAACP is right after all: National Association for the Advancement of Calumniation and Prevarication. Yeah, that fits.

Of course, all these lies and racism from the NAACP is beginning to confuse me. The NAACP is repeating lies about others and using race as a rallying point. Didn’t they also do that in the 1930s? Or was that NSDAP? It’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference.

Now, it seems that the TEA Party isn’t the only racist group. Al Qaeda is racist. This is after an attack in Africa. I suppose the blacks killed in the 9/11 attacks in the U.S. were simply killed because they were around a bunch of white people. Ditto for the blacks killed in the 7/7 attacks in the U.K.

Suddenly, Al Qaeda is racist. Does this mean that the administration will take the war on those terrorists seriously now? Or does it just mean that Eric Holder will sue Al Qaeda?

I’m hoping the former, since, in the left’s mind, this charge of Al Qaeda being racist makes them almost as dangerous as the TEA Party.

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Rehabilitating Mel

It must suck to be Mel Gibson right now. And I say “right now” because at one time, it was great to be Mel Gibson. Or so it seemed.

He had a bunch of hit movies. Like Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon 2 and Lethal Weapon 3 and …

Actually, he had a lot of hit movies … as well as some not so hit movies.

But, for a while, he was golden.

Now, not so much. First, there was his drunk driven arrest about four years back. Now, there’s the audio tapes (more than one) of his argument with his girlfriend. You usually have to attend a cabinet meeting featuring both Rahm Emanuel and Joe Biden to get that much crazy and profanity in one place.

Right now, if you read the news, Mel Gibson is seen at Satan incarnate. And, though he’s a talented actor, director and screenwriter, it seems that his career might be over. Unless he can be rehabilitated. But, is that possible? I think it might be.

It will be tough, though. Giving money to save the rain forest won’t work. He’s done that. Give millions to help sick children? Done that. No, that’s not nearly enough.

So, what would it take to rehabilitate Mel Gibson?

  • The promise to not make Mad Max 4.
  • The promise to not make Lethal Weapon 5.
  • The promise to not make What Women Want II.
  • Claim an oil spill that occurred 457 days after George Bush left office is Bush’s fault.
  • Claim a terrorist attack that occurred 234 days after George Bush took office is Bush’s fault.
  • Declare 9/11 an inside job.
  • Make a movie with Hugo Chavez.
  • Call the Tea Party “too white” then call for the only black on the Supreme Court to resign.
  • Drug and anally rape a 13-year-old girl.
  • Hang around a polling place with a bat, threatening to kill some crackers.

Perhaps this would be enough to return Mel Gibson to everyone’s good graces.

Is he crazy? Yeah, probably. But, he’s not the right kind of crazy. He needs to be batsh*t crazy, barking moonbat crazy, to get his career back.

I’m not sure it’s worth it.

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Andrew Breitbart is racist!!1!!!

Last weekend, when those members of Congress spread those lies about the protesters, we had video of the incident.

They said that racial slurs were hurled, but the video showed otherwise.

I asked what excuse the left might use to explain why the truth doesn’t match the story. And, sure enough, they’ve come up with all kinds. Most of them saying that the videos were edited or incomplete. However, since Jesse Jackson, Jr., who was with the Congressmen, was videotaping the event, you’d figure there’d be proof of their claims. If they were true.

They aren’t.

Andrew Breitbart is not only saying the Congressmen’s claims are false, he’s offering a bounty to anyone that can back up those claims.

He’s offering $10,000 if Rep. John Lewis, a Georgia Democrat, can prove his claims:

Rep. Lewis, if you can’t do that, I’ll give him a backup plan: a lie detector test. If you provide verifiable video evidence showing that a single racist epithet was hurled as you walked among the tea partiers, or you pass a simple lie detector test, I will provide a $10K check to the United Negro College Fund.

Will Lewis collect for the UNCF? Nope. But you know what I think the left will do? Accuse Breitbart of being a racist, because his offer includes the word “Negro.”

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Ole Miss needs a mascot

The University of Mississippi — Ole Miss — is going to have a new mascot. And, the students voted on whether or not the students should have a say in the mascot (tip: Paul Mitchell). Yes, they voted on whether to vote. Now, I’ll admit that I’ve attended meetings to schedule meetings, but I have never voted on voting. I need to think about that.

Anyway, Ole Miss has said goodbye to Colonel Rebel. Because he’s racist. I mean, look at him…

So, who should replace Colonel Rebel? The leading candidate is Admiral Ackbar. Yes, the character from Star Wars. Really.

But, George Lucas will never agree. So, what’s Ole Miss to do?

I have some ideas.

Burl Ives would be a good choice…

They’d replace the “From Dixie With Love” as the fight song with “Jimmy Crack Corn.”

Another idea would be Harland Sanders, a successful southern businessman…

They could even pass out fried chicken at the games. Fried chicken isn’t racist, is it?

If southern characters are eliminated — because of the reminder that Ole Miss is actually in Mississippi — there is a character from up north that might work. I’m thinking about Sam The Snowman from
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

They could sing “Holly Jolly Christmas” at games. Or “We’re A Couple Of Misfits.”

However, there is another possibility. What about an historical character that would be closely related to those that decided to get rid of Colonel Rebel to begin with. Who? Why, Leon Trotsky, of course…

Any of these would be suitable candidates for the job of mascot at Ole Miss. Unless you have another idea?

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The Unbearable Whiteness of Being

Everybody’s favorite nutbag, Keith Olbermann — who was fired from ESPN in 1997 for being a dick — wants to know

Where are the people of color at the Tea parties?

The fact that an NBC person is asking this asking this is, well, ridiculous. Michelle Malkin has pointed out for some time just how White NBC is.

However, suppose someone else — someone honest and with integrity — were to ask the question. How would I answer it?

Well, I could point out the Black man — identified as “an unidentified man” — at the Tea Party rally in Arizona who was carrying an AR-15. You may recall that NBC’s Contessa Brewer showed a close-up of his weapon, but not showing any skin (so you couldn’t tell he is Black), as she narrated: “there are questions about whether this has racial overtones….white people showing up with guns.”

Of course, there were Blacks present at the Tea Party in Columbus, GA on Independence Day. Blacks were in the crowd, as well as leading the protest.

But, that was in Georgia, where Blacks make up 30% of the population, as opposed to New York’s 17%.

Maybe I shouldn’t bother to get into such a discussion on how many Blacks are involved in the Tea Party protests. Maybe NBC shouldn’t be the Peacock Network, but instead, be called the Pea-brain Network.

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I wouldn’t have expected this from koolaid-gargling hyper-liberal Maureen Dowd, but she actually criticized Obama’s handling of the Panty Bomber:

If we can’t catch a Nigerian with a powerful explosive powder in his oddly feminine-looking underpants and a syringe full of acid, a man whose own father had alerted the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria, a traveler whose ticket was paid for in cash and who didn’t check bags, whose visa renewal had been denied by the British, who had studied Arabic in Al Qaeda sanctuary Yemen, whose name was on a counterterrorism watch list, who can we catch?

“Well, Tom, I just plain don’t like black people.”

Here we have a classic irresistable-force/immovable-object problem since criticism of Obama is racist, but nothing liberals say is ever racist.

So which side wins?

Well, the tagline of MoDo’s piece is:

Heck of a job, Barry.

Which is an allusion to GWB’s complimenting FEMA director Michael Brown’s handling of Katrina by saying:

“Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job,”

And what do you get when you use a “code word” (in this case, “Barry”) to call America’s first mocha-skinned Commander in Chief “Brownie”?


Irresistable Force FTW!

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