The origin of the term is in dispute. It’s commonly thought of as the day that helps retailers go “in the black” (turn a profit) because of the large volume of sales. Early references, however, indicate that the term was coined by transit drivers to refer to troublesome traffic because of the large amount of shoppers’ traffic.

Whatever the origin, it’s become a good thing, with the sales/profit aspect being most common in people’s thoughts.

But, can we still call it “Black Friday?” Isn’t that racist?

You see, sales and profit are hallmarks of capitalism. And capitalism is supported by conservatives — even by conservatives that don’t know they’re conservative. And, since capitalism is tied to conservatives, it must be racist. So, “Black Friday” is racist.

How do we fix it?

Easy. Call it “African-American Friday.”

I know. You’re saying, “That’s stupid.” And, you’d be right. But it’s no more stupid than calling blacks “African-American.” For example, what about Naomi Campbell? Or Lennox Lewis? Or Robin Szolkowy? You can’t call them “African-American.” Unless you’re that CNN anchor who I heard call a Black Briton an “African-American Briton” before stammering slightly and continuing on with the story.

Okay, okay, enough with the logic. On with the show.

Today is “African-American Friday.” Grab your Led Zeppelin IV, throw it in your car stereo, crank up “African-American Dog” and go shopping. You may have someone on your Christmas list who wants a new “African-American & Decker” power tool, so be sure to stop by the hardware store. And, don’t forget college football this weekend. It’s rivalry week, and one of the games in the SEC will be the Bulldogs from Mississippi State hosting the Ole Miss “African-American Bears.”

But, I’m sure there are many other ways to celebrate “African-American Friday.” Find an appropriate way.

With this caption:

“Now you know why — No birth certificate.”

Let’s be honest.

George W. Bush has short hair and big sticky-out ears – he looks like a chimp

Obama has short hair and big sticky-out ears – he also looks like a chimp.

Michelle Obama does NOT have short hair and big sticky-out ears – she does, however look like Lursa.

Exit question: how come I had to paw through half of Google to find this picture, even though dozens of sites are mentioning it, yet the liberal media had no problem slapping me upside the head with Abu Ghraib photos every day for a month?

[Direct link]

Holder concluded his comments saying that the Department of Justice doesn’t let race figure into its decisions. Even though race figures into his thinking, I suppose.

But, perhaps he wasn’t lying. Perhaps he was telling the truth when he said race wasn’t a factor. That would mean that “my people” wasn’t referring to any particular race of people. Perhaps it referred to another group of people.

Like who?

• Idiots
• Morons
• Socialists
• A**holes
• Mustache-Americans
• Attorneys
• New York Yankees fans
• Snake oil salesmen

See? Race doesn’t enter into it.

And, in closing, allow me to state the blindingly obvious question that’s currently clanging around in everyone’s skull:

“Holy s***! What would’ve happened if President John McCain had said that?”

How did Sharpton’s appearance work out? Great, as far as I’m concerned. His candidate lost.

Speaking of crazy racists calling other people racist…

The NAACP was visited by Michelle Obama, who said the group must “increase its intensity.” They did that by calling the TEA Party racist. They actually said “elements”were racist. And, of course, by elements, they mean “white people.”

Just who are these Colored People that National Association is looking to Advance? Of course, if they changed their name to the current “correct word/phrase” for blacks, they’d be the NAAAA. Which might not be a bad idea. Sounds like a bunch of sheep, mindlessly following their shepherd. Or Judas goat.

But maybe NAACP is right after all: National Association for the Advancement of Calumniation and Prevarication. Yeah, that fits.

Of course, all these lies and racism from the NAACP is beginning to confuse me. The NAACP is repeating lies about others and using race as a rallying point. Didn’t they also do that in the 1930s? Or was that NSDAP? It’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference.

Now, it seems that the TEA Party isn’t the only racist group. Al Qaeda is racist. This is after an attack in Africa. I suppose the blacks killed in the 9/11 attacks in the U.S. were simply killed because they were around a bunch of white people. Ditto for the blacks killed in the 7/7 attacks in the U.K.

Suddenly, Al Qaeda is racist. Does this mean that the administration will take the war on those terrorists seriously now? Or does it just mean that Eric Holder will sue Al Qaeda?

I’m hoping the former, since, in the left’s mind, this charge of Al Qaeda being racist makes them almost as dangerous as the TEA Party.

It must suck to be Mel Gibson right now. And I say “right now” because at one time, it was great to be Mel Gibson. Or so it seemed.

He had a bunch of hit movies. Like Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon 2 and Lethal Weapon 3 and …

Actually, he had a lot of hit movies … as well as some not so hit movies.

But, for a while, he was golden.

Now, not so much. First, there was his drunk driven arrest about four years back. Now, there’s the audio tapes (more than one) of his argument with his girlfriend. You usually have to attend a cabinet meeting featuring both Rahm Emanuel and Joe Biden to get that much crazy and profanity in one place.

Right now, if you read the news, Mel Gibson is seen at Satan incarnate. And, though he’s a talented actor, director and screenwriter, it seems that his career might be over. Unless he can be rehabilitated. But, is that possible? I think it might be.

It will be tough, though. Giving money to save the rain forest won’t work. He’s done that. Give millions to help sick children? Done that. No, that’s not nearly enough.

So, what would it take to rehabilitate Mel Gibson?

• The promise to not make Mad Max 4.
• The promise to not make Lethal Weapon 5.
• The promise to not make What Women Want II.
• Claim an oil spill that occurred 457 days after George Bush left office is Bush’s fault.
• Claim a terrorist attack that occurred 234 days after George Bush took office is Bush’s fault.
• Declare 9/11 an inside job.
• Make a movie with Hugo Chavez.
• Call the Tea Party “too white” then call for the only black on the Supreme Court to resign.
• Drug and anally rape a 13-year-old girl.
• Hang around a polling place with a bat, threatening to kill some crackers.

Perhaps this would be enough to return Mel Gibson to everyone’s good graces.

Is he crazy? Yeah, probably. But, he’s not the right kind of crazy. He needs to be batsh*t crazy, barking moonbat crazy, to get his career back.

I’m not sure it’s worth it.

They said that racial slurs were hurled, but the video showed otherwise.

I asked what excuse the left might use to explain why the truth doesn’t match the story. And, sure enough, they’ve come up with all kinds. Most of them saying that the videos were edited or incomplete. However, since Jesse Jackson, Jr., who was with the Congressmen, was videotaping the event, you’d figure there’d be proof of their claims. If they were true.

They aren’t.

Andrew Breitbart is not only saying the Congressmen’s claims are false, he’s offering a bounty to anyone that can back up those claims.

He’s offering $10,000 if Rep. John Lewis, a Georgia Democrat, can prove his claims:

Rep. Lewis, if you can’t do that, I’ll give him a backup plan: a lie detector test. If you provide verifiable video evidence showing that a single racist epithet was hurled as you walked among the tea partiers, or you pass a simple lie detector test, I will provide a $10K check to the United Negro College Fund.

Will Lewis collect for the UNCF? Nope. But you know what I think the left will do? Accuse Breitbart of being a racist, because his offer includes the word “Negro.”

Anyway, Ole Miss has said goodbye to Colonel Rebel. Because he’s racist. I mean, look at him…

So, who should replace Colonel Rebel? The leading candidate is Admiral Ackbar. Yes, the character from Star Wars. Really.

But, George Lucas will never agree. So, what’s Ole Miss to do?

I have some ideas.

Burl Ives would be a good choice…

They’d replace the “From Dixie With Love” as the fight song with “Jimmy Crack Corn.”

Another idea would be Harland Sanders, a successful southern businessman…

They could even pass out fried chicken at the games. Fried chicken isn’t racist, is it?

If southern characters are eliminated — because of the reminder that Ole Miss is actually in Mississippi — there is a character from up north that might work. I’m thinking about Sam The Snowman from
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer…

They could sing “Holly Jolly Christmas” at games. Or “We’re A Couple Of Misfits.”

However, there is another possibility. What about an historical character that would be closely related to those that decided to get rid of Colonel Rebel to begin with. Who? Why, Leon Trotsky, of course…

Any of these would be suitable candidates for the job of mascot at Ole Miss. Unless you have another idea?

Everybody’s favorite nutbag, Keith Olbermann — who was fired from ESPN in 1997 for being a dick — wants to know

Where are the people of color at the Tea parties?

The fact that an NBC person is asking this asking this is, well, ridiculous. Michelle Malkin has pointed out for some time just how White NBC is.

However, suppose someone else — someone honest and with integrity — were to ask the question. How would I answer it?

Well, I could point out the Black man — identified as “an unidentified man” — at the Tea Party rally in Arizona who was carrying an AR-15. You may recall that NBC’s Contessa Brewer showed a close-up of his weapon, but not showing any skin (so you couldn’t tell he is Black), as she narrated: “there are questions about whether this has racial overtones….white people showing up with guns.”

Of course, there were Blacks present at the Tea Party in Columbus, GA on Independence Day. Blacks were in the crowd, as well as leading the protest.

But, that was in Georgia, where Blacks make up 30% of the population, as opposed to New York’s 17%.

Maybe I shouldn’t bother to get into such a discussion on how many Blacks are involved in the Tea Party protests. Maybe NBC shouldn’t be the Peacock Network, but instead, be called the Pea-brain Network.

If we can’t catch a Nigerian with a powerful explosive powder in his oddly feminine-looking underpants and a syringe full of acid, a man whose own father had alerted the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria, a traveler whose ticket was paid for in cash and who didn’t check bags, whose visa renewal had been denied by the British, who had studied Arabic in Al Qaeda sanctuary Yemen, whose name was on a counterterrorism watch list, who can we catch?

“Well, Tom, I just plain don’t like black people.”

Here we have a classic irresistable-force/immovable-object problem since criticism of Obama is racist, but nothing liberals say is ever racist.

So which side wins?

Well, the tagline of MoDo’s piece is:

Heck of a job, Barry.

Which is an allusion to GWB’s complimenting FEMA director Michael Brown’s handling of Katrina by saying:

“Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job,”

And what do you get when you use a “code word” (in this case, “Barry”) to call America’s first mocha-skinned Commander in Chief “Brownie”?

RACISM!

Irresistable Force FTW!

Are they accusing Obama of being Buddhist?

I think someone’s pulling a Tawana, here.

I’m not.

Because it’s true.

You see, it turns out that Officer Crowley and Professor Gates are both Irish.

And Obama is inviting them to the White House for a beer.

Which just perpetuates the stereotype of Irishmen as brawling drunkards.

Which may be true, but it’s still offensive.

During Obama’s answer to that irrelevant softball on the arrest of Professor “I’ll talk to your MAMA outside!” Gates, Obama used the word “jigger” to describe the act of a black man forcibly entering a house:

“There was a report called into the police station that there might be a burglary taking place. so far so good. Right? I mean, if I was trying to jigger in — well, I guess this is my house now so it probably wouldn’t happen. Let’s say my old house in Chicago — here I’d get shot.”

I wish Obama would stop hatin’ on the African-American community.

Racism makes me sad.

Based on the answer from the last picture I posted under this question, you might be tempted to answer “no”.

But the correct answer is “yes”, because this picture implies that African-Americans aren’t smart enough to dress appropriately for the task at hand.

VERY insulting.

I’d like to show it to you, but – unlike the NY Post Chimp cartoon – it’s incredibly hard to find on the internet. Mostly what you get is the scary description:

The mock photo strip, sent Jan. 4 by Salvatore Ballarino, the borough president’s appointee to the volunteer board, features cartoon-like speech balloons drawn out of McCain’s mouth referencing lynching African Americans and equating African American babies with excrement.

The widely forwarded email also questions black fathers’ ability to support their families and states Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles are always smiling, because they did not know they were black. After each “punch line” the cartoon-like strip shows a photo of Obama’s face, positioned in such a way to make him look stunned and dumbstruck.

Here’s a fake-but-accurate version of the one I’m going to discuss:

Now, the joke that has the NAACP in a bilious tizzy is not particularly funny or even clever. It’s just a lame pun on the word “support” combined with a negative stereotype about black men. If that’s all Ballarino had forwarded, I could see their point.

But the cartoon only uses the joke as part of a larger gag. The humor here is the juxtaposition of two serious, somber, dignified men in a formal situation engaging in a conversation utterly unbefitting such a backdrop.

The humor value goes up if you believe that John McCain is a closet racist, which would give it a “funny because it’s true” bonus. For normal people it’d be funnier if the white guy in the picture were an ACTUAL racist, like Senator Robert “Kleagle & Exalted Cyclops” Byrd, but you aren’t gonna find a picture of THOSE two together chatting amiably, so THAT comic’s not getting made anytime soon.

But even though I think this cartoon has some non-racist humor value for a certain audience, I still think it’s too lame to forward.

Why?

Weak sauce punch line.

In a REAL multi-panel cartoon, the nonplussed Obama image would be the pause before the punchline, and not the punchline itself. Ending the way it does, it makes it look like Obama got “got” by the evil racist cracker. The point is to make McCain look like a jerk, not Obama look like a victim. It works better if Obama now makes some attempt to restore normalcy to a VERY awkward situation. Ideally, the 5th panel would reinforce the earlier themes of Obama being composed and dignified, and having McCain obliviously spouting an even more racially insensitive remark. For example:

Now, I’m not saying any of this is either appropriate for or amusing to a general audience. I’m just taking the time to look past the racist tree in search of a funny forest, sowing seeds as necessary to reclaim the land that was clearcut by humorless liberals.

I think it’s what Eric Holder would’ve wanted.

UPDATE 3-6-09

Reader Joe was kind enough to forward me the original email that Ballarino was fired for forwarding. I’m posting links to the images so you can judge them for yourself.

Family tree

Excrement

Picnic table

Stevie Wonder

Pity that the same MSM who plastered contextless Abu Ghraib photos everywhere doesn’t have the journalistic integrity to do the same.

“I’d like you better if you were also a hermaphrodite.”

Which gave me pause.

How can a comment be racist if the speaker isn’t?

Maybe racist is the wrong word. Time to check the dictionary… which says it means “racially discriminatory”.

That’s a head-scratcher. Discrimination implies some sort of adverse action. Katie didn’t act, she just talked. In fact, I don’t think it’s possible for ANY words (or cartoons) to be racist by themselves, apart from other evidence of speaker intent to do harm.

It’s time to resurrect two long-neglected words to help us understand this situation:

Prejudice and bias.

The first is an irrational opinion against something, the second is an irrational opinion in favor.

In this case, I don’t think Katie was prejudiced. She sounded CHEERFUL about the presence of “the white guy”. She wasn’t like “curse Joe Biden for destroying the multiculturalism of this moment with his foul caucasity!”

No, she was HAPPY.

So I conclude that she is not racist, but merely has a bias toward seeing groups of politicians with varying skin colors and sex organs.

Now this implies that she would conversely have a prejudice against seeing groups of similarly colored & sexed politicians. Does this mean that if she ever saw a meeting of the Congressional Black Caucus, she would end both her life and career in a Columbine-like explosion of bullets and wrath?

Logic says “yes”.

But that’s not a reason to confuse prejudice with racism.

No, because that’s a shovel.

But think back. The left did more than compare President Bush to a chimp. Remember? They also compared him to Hitler. A lot.

But, according to a Fox News report, using Hitler in humor is now verboten.

…not everyone is laughing. The film itself was criticized for its humanizing portrayal of the Nazi dictator. Now some people are complaining about the YouTube parodies, which play Hitler up for laughs.

An umbrella organization representing Holocaust survivors in Israel asked YouTube on Tuesday to take down one of the spoofs, in which Hitler complains about the lack of parking spaces in Tel Aviv, according to The Jerusalem Post. The organization said that the clip was grossly insensitive to the feelings of elderly Holocaust survivors.

Which means, no more Hitler videos. No more watching Hitler meltdown over his XBox Live account.

They say you can’t use monkeys in humor.

They say you can’t use Hitler in humor.

Maybe all the good monkey humor has been used up. Maybe it’s now tiresome to make Hitler references.

You can still make fun of Jesus, though.

But only until the left gets tired of the references to “Obamessiah.”

Let’s help them.

Here’s a copy of the cartoon without words.

I’m not taking submissions on this one, but if you want play with it and post it somewhere, drop a link in the comments, otherwise just leave some words.

I’ll toss a few out there to get things rolling.

* Oh my God! You killed President Bush!

* Dude… your taser is in your LEFT holster.

* Nice group.

* It’s ok Bob, you HAD to shoot him. He was being racist.”

From liberals.

They’re finding racism all over the place. It’s amazing where people find racism. Frank J. pointed out how silly it is that people are calling a cartoon in the New York Post racist, because it has a monkey in it. Okay, chimpanzee. Still, you get my point.

So, are monkeys off limits for humor?

No more funny monkey videos?

That’d be a shame.

The good news, though, is that you can still use monkeys in political humor.

You can do this:

You cannot do this:

Any questions?

NY1 is a real TV station. The story – less so.

But I gotta admit, I bit for well over half the video.

The weirdest part is that if this thing goes viral, it might actually be self-fulfilling.

[Hat tip: Pamibe]

SIDE NOTE: Rev. Sharpton doesn’t know the difference between “infer” and “imply”.

“Being that the stimulus bill has been the first legislative victory of President Barack Obama (the first African American president) and has become synonymous with him it is not a reach to wonder are they inferring that a monkey wrote the last bill?”

Some folks say that McCain campaign is using “code words” to appeal to the racist vote.

Some folks are absolutely right.

Here are some of the code words & phrases used by John McCain during the debate:

“the match that lit this fire was Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac” – veiled reference to cross-burnings.

“I’d like you to see the letter that a group of senators and I wrote warning exactly of this crisis. Sen. Obama’s name was not on that letter” – there’s the “T” word again.

“some of these organizations that are the watchdogs” – “dawgs” or “gangstas”. Degrading to inner-city youths.

“$3 million for an overhead projector at a planetarium in Chicago, Illinois” – sounds like “plutonium”, which Obama would sell to Iran because he’s a Muslim and a terrorist sympathizer.

“eliminate our dependence on foreign oil” – a black substance.

“we’re going to have to eliminate those that aren’t working” – A call for the genocide of the black welfare class.

“except for defense, Veterans Affairs, and some other vital programs, we’ll just have to have across-the-board freeze” – subtle plug for Gov. Palin from icy-cold Alaska.

“establish priorities with full transparency” – an extreme form of whiteness.

“like nailing Jell-O to the wall” – The spokesman for Jello Pudding was Bill Cosby, a black man.

“The only bright spot” – almost as obvious as “transparency”.

“the smartest people in America” – “whitest”.

“he’ll impose mandates” – Obama will force men to have same-sex romantic relationships.

“Sen. Obama will fine you” – well, the FIRST letter of the word he meant was “f”…

“do the math” – which black people like Obama are too stupid to do

“like hair transplants” – blatant Biden dig.

“when to go in and when not, when American military power is worth the expenditure of our most precious treasure” – white people.

“That requires a cool hand at the tiller” – In a better America, Obama would be a slave out tilling a field.

“I’ll get Osama bin Laden, my friends. I’ll get him. I know how to get him” – it’s racist to use middle names.

“we hardly know where they are on the map” – a derisive reference to undocumented Mexican migrant workers

“I know what it’s like in dark times” – can’t believe he got away with THAT one.