Phil Robertson shouldn’t go back to A&E unless he gets an apology from them for their bigotry and hatred.
Someone should start a country based around personal liberty. That would be awesome.
The philosophy of the left is there’s nothing wrong with beating a poor person to death if your intention was to help him.
It’s time to take a hard stand against all the people who want to tear down the values that made this country. Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
No one can judge me but God. And judges. And juries, sort of.
Obama should just go full Judge Dredd and start shouting, “I am the law!”
Most of these journalists are about as good at their job as Obama is at his.
Can journalists have a press conference where we get to ask them why they’re so worthless?
I’m going to put “LOL” at the end of all my tweets so I seem funnier. LOL.
When Obama says, “Look! I’m dancing crazy!” and starts dancing, that’s his way of dodging a question.
I think Obama’s response to question about him winning lie of the year of “No hablo Inlges” might have been a lie.
“Non-Partisan Truth-Telling Group” is the name of my indie rock band.
How can you award “Lie of the Year” before Obama finishes his last press conference of the year?
Women already live longer than men, but all the focus is always on women’s health issues. #MeninistTwitter
“The White House press conferences turned into drum circles so gradually, I didn’t even notice.”
Why don’t we compromise and say “Happy Christmas”?
When I come back to work in January 2014, my daily Dilbert calendar will be dead.
How do I watch a VHS tape on my iPad?
I’m a cultured person. I play indie video games.
Seems like there is no one as hate-filled these days as those trying to root out “bigots.”
It’s like the people who set up these wifi cable modems have no idea what they’re doing. They used a 20 hexadecimal sequence as a passphrase.
In the write up of it, they show spaces in it even though there aren’t spaces in it. Every character is important, because it’s a PASSPHRASE.
You don’t know what a burden it is being the only person who isn’t an idiot.
so wut happen wit the duck dynasty? did somebudy stop them or did they kill all th gay people?
BREAKING: Santa Claus has been arrested on stocking charges.
Caillou teaches some odd lessons. “Ringette isn’t just a girl’s sport.” “Don’t be afraid of camels.”
I kinda get ringette as a Canadian kid issue, but does Canada have lots of problems with irrational camel fear?
The president should release a Christmas card that says “Have yourself a BARRY little Christmas (people sometimes call me Barry).”
My iPad sure crashes a lot since the 7.0 update.
Dennis Rodman didn’t get to meet with Kim Jong Un? They must have found out we put a bomb in Rodman.
We know the superhero origins, so could movies stop showing them? We don’t need to again see Batman fall in a vat of bats to get his powers.
“One lozenge every two hours.” Yeah, sure, instruction on bag of Halls.
Got the photos back from my author photo shoot. Realized too late I should have done at least one Blue Steel shot.
Buttercup was saying “hot” and “cold” as I looked for an item she hid. Took a little bit for me to realize she was saying it randomly.
Hunting with a sledgehammer takes the most skill.
The thing I never understand about nativity scenes is which of the three wise men goes on to become Santa Claus.
Merry Christmas from the Flemings!
Daughter suddenly yanked off my wedding ring; didn’t even know it comes off. Had never removed it since my wedding.
“Friday night’s a great time for football…” Why does that jump into my head every so often?
But Die Hard 2 is a Christmas movie, right?
Starve a cold, feed a fever, fever a starving
The main argument for Die Hard being a Christmas movie is “Shut up; it’s a Christmas movie.” Frankly, it’s the winning argument.
To end this debate, we need a popular Christmas song that mentions the movie.
“Watching Die Hard by an open fire…”
“Hey, myrrh isn’t cheap! I’d just expect a little more appreciation from people living in a stable.”
To be a Christmas movie, the whole movie must take place Xmas time. That’s why Die Hard is a Christmas movie and It’s a Wonderful Life isn’t.
If Romney developed fire super powers, his superhero name could be “Oven Mitt”.
The iOS game Device 6 was one of the most creative things I’ve seen in a while. Short, though.
Got $200 in iTunes gift certificates. Since I only buy the occasional app, feels like Brewster’s Millions figuring how I’ll spend it all.
What are racists supposed to do these days when it seems like the pro-tolerance side is hogging all the hate-filled idiots?
Enjoying Assassin’s Creed IV, though the main character looks like a cross between Heath Ledger and a gorilla.
Eww! Gross income!
Finally watching that Downton Abbey. When do they start paying for the estate by cooking meth?
Vizzini brand birth control. “Inconceivable!”