Hey, everyone: Try not to be racist and try not to riot.
What I’m hearing is that a lot of black people are feeling powerless because of Ferguson… except for one who is bypassing Congress with executive actions.
Regardless of the merits of one case, the fact that a large segment of the population find cops a cause of distress must be addressed.
Never be blasé about people who feel oppressed by government power. That’s something to be consistent about.
Trying Objective-C for the first time. “NO” and “YES” instead of “true” and “false” for boolean? Was this made for babies?
So far President Obama’s only plan for Ferguson is to flood the town with illegal immigrants.
If black people like how things are and don’t want anything to change, they should keep voting for Democrats.
US: “We need jobs!”
Obama: “Here’s my new healthcare plan I’m shoving down your throats!”
*4 years pass
Schumer: “Hey, wait a second…”
For people victimizing random businesses in response to a shooting, is it okay to doubt their sincerity in wanting “justice”?
You sure you want “justice”, guy looting liquor store? I don’t think that will work out well for you.
The dad’s burden is that by the time he sits down to eat the pancake breakfast, it’s cold.
“We should make a solar-powered calculator.”
“That’s a great idea! What else would be useful to be solar-powered?”
*thinks a bit
I never understood putting raisins in cookies. Have you never heard of chocolate chips or are you just some sort of misanthrope?
“What a perfect, creamy chocolate batter for my brownies.”
*the devil appears on her shoulder
So are you actually allergic to meat or do you just not eat it because that’s trendy?
“We’re out of new lightsaber ideas. What do you got?”
“Tiny lightsaber blades stick out the side.”
“For what purpose?”
“It needs a purpose?”
How do I explain silent letters to my 4yo?
“Our language was made by madmen and psychopaths.”
Best I can figure about silent letters is there are union rules where you have to hire certain letters whether you need them or not.
The air doesn’t seem to like Texas as it’s always in a big rush to get out of here.
You know how when there are 3 urinals, one is hung lower than the others? Why not just hang them all low?
Have you ever been like, “I’m glad I got a higher urinal! Those are so much more convenient for my height!”?
Weird how like every gas pump instructs you to lift the handle even though it’s been years since I’ve seen a pump where the handle lifts.
Barack Obama doesn’t care about black people on a whole other level than white presidents.
I’m so used to sitcoms without laugh tracks that ones with it seem desperate now. “See? My friends think I’m funny.”
My daughter thinks the queso from Trochy’s Tacos is called “tor-cheese.”
Not to sound negative about Obamacare, but I don’t get the advantage of having more of my healthcare decisions made by sociopathic idiots.
Sorry. I just had to pick a new healthcare plan, and it’s hard to do that and not want to strangle people.