for mor yeers

oh hello dum stoopid heelbilly neocon teebag jues. its been awile. how did things go wit rominee? did he beet mean scaree obama?

oh. he didnt? that is so sad. heer. you com close. i give u hug. just com reely close and ill…


u dum stoopid heelbilly neocon teebag jues! u no beet obama! he gratest presdent eever! u think dum stoopid rominee who take 47% of womin in bindurs on top of his car could beet obama? u dum stoopids are sooper delooded! evryone luvs obama and grate job he do. he hav to undo damage of dum stoopid heelbilly neocon teebag jue bush and dat take long time. but dat okay becuz obama now have for mor yeers. and by then we weel hav giantest govment eever! and this will make sooper best econimy says paul kroogman hoo u dum stoopids ar to dum stoopid to leestin to.

oh no. ar u dum stoopids sad that republeekins will nevur geet electid ugin? dat must mak u veery sad. com close an i mak u feel bettor. com close…


but no worrees. obamacare cover eyballs beeing turned to poo. maybe den u learn to thank obama and not ageen nominate sooper conservutive extreemist lik rominee. now just stay out of the way for nex for yeers and maybe i dont eet ur eyballs.

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wut happend?!!



wut happend? ted kennedee was monkeys gratest freend. now in his seet is dum stoopid heelbilly neocon teabagging jue? dis not right! dis not possibul! dis trick!

ween obamama wun dat peepul hated de dum stoopid heelbilly neocon teabagging jues. Dey wanted der eyeball eeten. dat messuge was loud an clear. wut are dey saying now? i do not understand!

dis must bee becuz we not librul enuf an not eet enough eyeballs. did only explanation. obamama failed on making u hav helth care an fail on taxing u an fail on eeting ur eyeballs so dat why peepul angry. dey want mor librulism and mor eyeballs eeten. dis onlee logicul explanashun. i weel wright diary about it on daily kos to tell all my monkey freends not to lose hope.

yes. dat it. everee wun steel hate u dum stoopid heelbilly neocon teabagging jues. dey just wanted liberuls to work faster. so no reeson u celebrate. i weel eet ur dum stoopid eyeballs soon. i weel. an i weel turn them into poo an throw de poo at u. dis will happen soon. i happy not sad. things ar gud. things ar very gud. i go watch msnbc now.

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free helth cair for dum stoopids

dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jues! y u no want free helth cair? how dum stoopid can u bee?

y u so racist agenst obama? is it cuz hees black an ur a dum stoopid? u racist astrotruf dum stoopid angree mobs! u only agenst helth cair cuz u paid off by insurance companees to be racist agenst helth cair. u no even no wut u talk about! u listen to queen dum stoopid sarah palin about death panels. she make dat up out of her stoopid brain. no such thing. she so dum stoopid dat when she go befor helth panel dey weel decide to youthanize her cuz she too dum for guvment to pay for.

y u not listen to obama? y u want bad dum stoopid helth cair ware doctors steel feet and tonsels and giv u expensiv red pill? u too dum too liv if u want dat. helth panel shud decide to youthanize u too!

no. dat too harsh. me sorree. i giv u free check up. me new doctor under helth cair plan. me charg littul an keep cost down. so cum close so i can get a look at u.

uh oh. i see problem. sumting wrong wit ur eyes. it no good. dey have to come out…

Continue reading ‘free helth cair for dum stoopids’ »

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consurned consurveetiv

hello. i am carl the consuveetiv. you hav not seen me befor, but i am a consuveetiv lik u who voted for raygun, hates poor peepul, and reads the blog imoa. i am consurned tho that the reepublikans are going in an extreemust direcshun.

i am consurveetiv who like the jebus and nascar but i do not like all this crazy talk of cutting spending and taxes and not letting teh gheys marree and racist tee partees. we need to stop lissuning to bad dum consurveetivs like limbah who eets the drugs or palin who is stoopid and do not reed. insted we shood lissun to meghan mccain an colon powel hoo ar not dum stoopid neocon heelbilly jues. an we shood not be so meen to obama hoo we must admit has gud ideas.

also we shood not lissun to crayzee pairanoyd talk frum bad dum consurveetivs hoo say that libruls want to eet our eyeballs. this is not troo. an even if it wer troo i am shure dey wood not turn our eyeballs into poo and throw the poo at us. we hav nuthing to worree about except bad dum consurveetivs.

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Samurai vs. Monkey: The Stimulus Bill

As you all know, IMAO is pretty centrist. Still, we like to bring in a wide variety of viewpoints, so here to talk about the stimulus bill from the right is Musashi and from the left Scary Evil Monkey.

I Will Be Stained in the Blood of Traitors
By Musashi

Traitors! Brigands! You who voted for the stimulus bill, you dishonor all those who fought and died for this country. You mock that which is much greater than you. For this, my sword will taste your blood! There is no forgiveness for this, only death! I will slaughter you, and slaughter your children (as is the custom in the political process).

As for those who dare called themselves Republicans and voted to sell their countries values, hopefully they can regain enough honor to disembowel themselves before I disembowel them! Their names shall be blotted from the books so that no future generation will know them as Republicans. Upon their graves we shall build urinals.

When all those responsible for the stimulus lay dead, the Capitol shall be burned to the ground. The stimulus bill has now made it an unholy place, and no good shall ever come from it again. Perhaps by this act we can seek forgiveness from the gods and the economy will flourish once again.

We Have All Your Money
By Scary Evil Monkey


i cannot stop laffing at dum stoopid neocon heelbilly jues! now that my monkey friends in congress pass stimulus bill, all ur money is now ar money! evreewun lik obama an hate you dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jues, so dey take ur money and giv it to heem. now instead of spending on dum stoopid tings, he spend it on smirt elegant tings like guvment financing of gay porn and assistance for all my monkey freends in iran.

wut? dis make u sad? oh poor dum stoopids neocon heelbilly jues with no money becuz the smirt government took it all. u afraid der no money for nascar and churches an other dum stoopid tings? it weel be alright. i weel giv u sum money. how about i giv u five dollars if you let me EET UR EYBALLS AN TURN DEM INTO POO AND THROW THE POO AT U! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

i kid. i not give u five dollars for that. ur eyeballs are now mine. check the stimulus bill if you no believe me. no mor rights for dum stoopids. u all say gudbai to ur countree. an say gudbai to UR EYEBALLS WHICH WEE WEEL EET AN TURN INTO POO… an so on an so forth.

* * * *

I hope you enjoyed this debate and hearing both sides of the issue. Please give us feedback so we here at IMAO can better serve the community.

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aww po dum stoopid neocon heelbilly jues. evreeone hate u all now and vote aganst u. no wun likes u. no wun ever going to vote for dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jues like boosh evar again now dey hav obama. u very sad.

well doo not wurry. now leebrals in charge and dey will take care of u better dan ur dum stoopid selves ever cood. dey will use reedistreebooshun too make sure everee wun is eequal. u hate eequal dont u u dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jues? but it not bad. i explain to u.

when sum wun have too much we reedistreeboot to those weeth less. for exampul u all hav so many eyeballs but my mouth has so few. so we weel need too make everee wun eequal by redistreebooting ur eyes to my mouth. in utter words


but doo not wurry dum stoopids. reedisteebooshun works both ways. aftur i eet ur eyeballs i weel have an excess of poo maid from eyeballs while u weel hav nun. so i weel reedisteeboot dat bak to u. in utter words


so doo nut wurry dum stoopid heelbilly neco jues. u weel bee much better off covered in poo maid frum ur own eyeballs because u weel be ruled bai smart peepul like obama instead of dum stoopids everee wun hate laik palin. everee wun hate dum stoopids now like her and u. but u weel always hav a place in new sosighity as long as u hav eyeballs. so make shure u keep ur eyeballs clean cum janurary 20


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