Archive for the ‘Train Wreck Posts’ Category

Conservative TV shows

Wednesday, November 24, 2010 5:51 am

(Note: This is one of the Train Wreck Posts. As promised. Oh, and HIGH PRAISE! to shiggz for the suggestion.- Basil)

One of the good things about TiVo is that I don’t have to think about what airs when. If I find a show I like, I can just tell it to record something, and it’s there for me. It just shows up. Like it’s Christmas every day! The “Looky what I got” Christmas, not the “God sent His Son to save us” Christmas.

The drawback is that I no longer pay much attention to what all shows come on. Since I don’t have to worry about when my shows air, I don’t check the listings, and don’t see what else airs. I discover new shows by seeing promos about them before I hit the fast-forward button during breaks, by hearing people talk about it, or from it showing up on TiVo suggestions. I don’t often use TiVo’s Guru Guides, because they all list shows that either suck, or that sound like they suck. Most of the shows, anyway. But I don’t blame TiVo. I blame the fact that there aren’t many shows on TV that would appeal to conservatives.

We need more conservative shows. Like these:

  • Bitch-slapping Olbermann
  • When Animals Attack, We Kill Them And Eat Them
  • MST3K Special: Hardball with Chris Mathews
  • Cooking With Bacon
  • Bitch-slapping Obama
  • Mythbusting Liberals
  • Where Are They Now: Democrats
  • Dancing On Their Graves
  • Bitch-slapping the guy that runs the TSA
  • SEC Football
  • It’s Bacon!
  • The John Wayne Channel
  • The Surreal Life In Space
  • Bitch-slapping Harry Reid
  • Dirty Jobs Special: Cleaning Up Congress
  • Blowing Stuff Up
  • The R Lee Ermey Channel

What shows would you like to see?

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I now pronounce you …

Wednesday, November 24, 2010 1:00 am

(Note: I promised I’d write a post from the suggestions made yesterday. This is actually inspired by that. Don’t ask how. You’d gain an insight to how my brain works … and you really don’t want to know. Really. I still plan to write something, but Wife just got out of the shower, wearing only a towel … around her head. Later, losers! – Basil)

Growing up in Georgia, I discovered that some words can be pronounced in different ways, depending on where you are.

For instance, “Jordan.” You may say JOR-dan. Some people, in west Georgia and east Alabama pronounce it “JURD-n.” Like that stadium where Auburn University plays football, Jordan-Hare. Or, Jimmy Carter’s Chief of Staff, Hamilton Jordan. Those are pronounced “JURD-n.”

Houston County, in central Georgia? It’s not “HYOOS-ton,” as you might think. It’s “HOWS-ton.” Really.

Buena Vista, in west Georgia? “BYOO-na VISS-ta.” Seriously.

Walthourville, in southeast Georgia? “WALT-OWER-VILLE,” like it’s three words: Walt, hour, ville.

The lesson I learned, as I mentioned, is that words aren’t always pronounced like you might think. Or like you’ve heard others pronounce.

In the public interest, I present a list of words that you may have been mispronouncing your whole life, along with the correct pronunciation.

  • Democrat (COMM-yoo-nist)
  • Republican (OWN-pro-BAY-shun)
  • Pelosi (ASS)
  • Reid (DUM-ass)
  • Obama (FAYL-yur)
  • Stimulus (BAD-i-DEE-uh)
  • Palin (AWW-sum, alternate pronunciation HOT)
  • NBC (DOOSH-bagz)
  • CBS (DOOSH-bagz)
  • CNN (DOOSH-bagz)
  • ABC (NYN-tee-per-SENT-DOOSH-bagz)
  • Fox News (TWIN-tee-per-SENT-DOOSH-bagz)
  • Liberal (KRAP-for-BRAYNZ)
  • Twitter (GAE)
  • Facebook (GAE)
  • Windows (per-PEH-chu-wul-BAY-tuh)

Perhaps you’ve run across other words that aren’t pronounced as one would expect?

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Train Wreck Post: Submissions

Tuesday, November 23, 2010 10:12 am

Let’s see. Frank and SarahK and Buttercup are spending the next several days in an undisclosed location.

Harvey has a real job. And has some vacation going on, too.

I’m working (or at least, drawing a paycheck for showing up).

SpaceMonkey is spending the time he has playing dad.

Laurence Simon only shows up for certain things. Still working on that biography of Tim Russert, I suppose.

There’s Mister Right who … okay, I don’t know what the hell he does.

Okay, who else has posted here in the last year or so? I can’t think of anyone else.

So, what’s an IMAO reader to do?

Okay, quiet down. Let me see what I can do.

Tell you what. Submit some ideas for a post. From the most popular ideas, I’ll write something. Tonight. When I get off work. Seriously.

It’ll either be awesome, or it’ll suck big time.

I’m thinking this will be the Mother Of All Train Wrecks.

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