We’ve been told by the media, so you know it’s true: Romney is unstoppable!

Have you seen the delegate count?

He already has 20 delegates, 7 of which are binding. And he’s only … let’s do the math real quick … 1,124 shy of securing the nomination. Unless the 13 non-binding delegates jump ship. Even then he’s still only 1,137 delegates shy of wrapping this whole thing up.

Rick Santorum, meanwhile, only has 12 non-binding delegates. That means he has to get all of 1,132 delegates and hope none of those 12 go elsewhere. Unpossible, I tell you!

Look at the numbers! 1,124 is less than 1,132. There’s no way Santorum can get such a large number in so short a period of time. And Romney? That small number he has to achieve and he’s got months to get that total. Unstoppable, I tell you!!

And don’t even get me started on how far Newt Gingrich or Rick Perry has to go. They’re both 20 delegates behind Romney.

Twenty!!1!!!!

But for the rest of the GOP field? Give it up. It’s over. Pack it in, fellas. There’s no way Romney can be stopped. He’s a juggernaut. Which is like an astronaut, but with jugs. Or maybe I’m thinking of something I saw on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Doesn’t matter. Romney can’t be stopped!

The Republican establishment is ready for you to come on board. The media is ready for you to come on board. They are ready to accept your support of Mitt Romney.

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Join them, won’t you?

Equal time for the Democrats? Sure, why not.

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See previous: Blazing Republicans

Now showing!

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Joe Biden wants to raise your taxes so you won’t get raped.

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Excerpt:

In 2008, when Flint had 265 sworn officers on their police force, there were 35 murders and 91 rapes in this city. In 2010, when Flint had only 144 police officers, the murder rate climbed to 65 and rapes–just to pick two categories–climbed to 229. In 2011, you now only have 125 shields. God only knows what the numbers will be this year for Flint if we don’t rectify it. And God only knows what that number would have been had we not been able to get a little bit of help to you.

So, if you weren’t raped or murdered this year, thank Joe Biden and Barack Obama.

If you were raped or murdered, blamed the Republicans. In fact, the Republicans are tired of rapists and murders getting all the credit. They have formed a task force to climb into your windows, snatch your people up, and rape them.

How do you defend against it? You need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husbands because the Republicans will be raping everybody.

And they’re all racist. Especially that colored fellow. He’s the most racist of them all.

Disclosure: I have financially contributed to the Herman Cain campaign.

There’s a minor kerfuffle going on about something that Herman Cain said. It’s widely reported that he said he couldn’t support Rick Perry as the Republican nominee:

[Edited: The previous video no longer allows embedding. So, here is the original excerpt from CNN. The quote begins immediately after the commercial.]

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Yep. That’s what he said. And that bothers me.

You see, I’ve been going on and on about how, no matter who the GOP nominee is, we need to support him. And some of you get your panties all in a wad about that.

“I’m not ever going to support Mitt Romney!”

“I won’t vote for Rick Perry!”

“If Sarah Palin isn’t the nominee, I’m not voting!”

“If Sarah Palin is the nominee, I’m not voting!”

“Ron Paul is nuts!”

Okay, that last one is okay. But still, nuts as he is, he’d a darn sight better than Barack Obama. But some of you are saying you won’t support this guy or that girl. Well, now Herman Cain sounds a lot like some of you people. Maybe he’s pandering to the panties-in-a-wad crowd.

I don’t care for that. I suspect Cain will backtrack, and soon. He’ll come up with some statement that sounds like some crafted statement talking about how we can disagree about important issues, but still have the same overriding goal: defeat Barack Obama and return competence to the White House.

But what should he say? Or, better, what should he have said to Wolf Blitzer’s question, “Could you support Rick Perry if he were the nominee?”

• Against Obama? Of course. Hell, Wolf, I’d support you over Barack Obama.
• I fully support Rick Perry for vice-president.
• I would support Rick Perry if Zombie Reagan turned down the nomination.
• Nine, nine, nine.
• Not if he was the Democrat nominee. Has he switched back to being a Democrat?
• That’s a stupid question, Wolf. What do you think I’m going to say? That I wouldn’t support Rick Perry? Do you think I’m stupid?

What do you think Herman Cain should have said?

Reality is racist. Just so you know.

Recently, the president gave a speech before the Congressional Black Caucus, and, as he is wont to do, he slipped into his “Hey-I’m-Black-Too” dialect. And, the Associated Press reported the actual words he used, as he used them:

Stop complainin’. Stop grumblin’. Stop cryin’.

And, for reporting what happened, the AP was accused of being racist by Karen Hunter on MSNBC:

Hunter called the AP’s version “inherently racist,” sparring with New Republic contributing editor and noted linguistics expert John McWhorter, who argued the g-less version “is actually the correct one,” noting that the president’s victory in the 2008 election was due, in part, to how effortlessly “he can switch into that [black] dialect.”

To follow Hunter’s demands to their conclusion, as Jeff Goldstein put it:

…they are now charged with re-writing history to protect the speaker from himself, lest they be charged with transcribing reality, once considered the most neutral of all activities (at least in intent and aim), an activity that now carries with it the charge of “inherent racism” if the reality being transcribed belongs to blacks, and non-blacks or inauthentic blacks are doing the transcribing.

Presumably, Ms Hunter, if pressed, might have to extend the argument to audio clips that capture the dropping of the g’s — themselves a secondhand recording of reality that have not been “corrected” of their “inherent racism.”

So, now that we know that reality is racist and we must protect ourselves from it, we present the video of the president’s actual words, not as said, but as they must be to remove the charge of racism:

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Liberals have been living outside reality for a long, long time. Now, they want us to live outside it, too.

The president gave his big speech last night. And in it, he laid out a plan.

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It all makes sense to me now. I love it when Obama be speechifying.

Sometimes, the things people do are so obviously nuts, even my cat recognizes it.

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Transcript:

I just don’t understand some people. Last week, actor George Clooney took the time during a news conference about his new movie to say some nice things about Barack Obama.

George Clooney: There’s a guy in office right now who is smarter than almost anybody you know, who has more compassion than almost anybody you know, and he’s having an almost impossible time governing.

That’s not the first time we’ve heard someone from the entertainment industry say nice things about Obama. Like how smart he is.

Joy Behar: But I think you have a point. He’s a little too smart for the country in a certain way…

You know what all that reminds me of?

CPL Allen Melvin: Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.

In the movie “The Manchurian Candidate,” those that were singing the praises of Raymond Shaw were brainwashed by communists.

That’s not the case with Hollywood. Those singing the praises of Barack Obama? They’re brainwashing themselves.

I just don’t understand some people.

I think my cat has a point.

Ron White is famous for his “You can’t fix stupid” routine.

Maybe he’s wrong. Maybe you can fix stupid.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: everyone who voted for Barack Obama is a dumbass. But dumbass isn’t always fatal. And it’s not always permanent.

Gene Simmons, for instance.

I’ve never considered him a dumbass. He’s a successful musician and businessman. But he did vote for Obama. And, well, you know what I’ve said about voting for Obama.

However… he’s said it more than once: he’d take back his vote for Obama:

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What does this mean? Well, perhaps more and more people are coming to their senses. Maybe they now realize what we were saying back n 2008 when we said that Obama was an incompetent buffoon who’d lead the country down the road to ruin.

And maybe, just maybe, we can get them on our side, the right side, America’s side.

Should we forgive Anthony Weiner?

No.

Why not?

He hasn’t asked for forgiveness.

Really, he hasn’t.

Oh, I know why you’re confused. You’re thinking about this whole texting pics of his tallywhacker. Forget that silliness. We should be angry with Weiner for other stuff.

Remember this from a couple of months ago?

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Frank posted it a couple of months ago. It deserves a rerun.