The Roof Is On Fire!

[How to Make a Match House Without Glue and Burn it Down] (Viewer #8,997,464)

You kinda need to be in the mood for this one. The payoff is slow in coming, so if you’re looking for quick excitement, you’ll be unsatisfied. But if you’ve got the time, the construction technique is quietly fascinating.

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15 Fun Facts About Earth Day

(reposted from 2012)

Not content with ruining an hour of your life on March 25th, the greenies are back at it again less than a month later with “Earth Day”, which is like some sort of hippie Christmas or something.

Yeah, leave it to the Watermelons to pick a day for celebration when it’s still too cold to hang out in the back yard wearing an apron and grilling steaks. There’s a reason the 4th of July falls on the 4th of July every year, people.

Since no one you know or like knows anything about Earth Day, I’ll get you up to speed so that if you end up talking to a liberal today, you can dish some knowledge and then act like he’s a total moron for not already knowing these…

15 FUN FACTS ABOUT EARTH DAY

1) Earth Day was invented by Gaylord Nelson, then a U.S. Senator from Wisconsin, on April 22nd 1970, in an valiant effort to make people spend their time caring about the environment instead of snickering at his first name.

2) Earth Day is celebrated every year on April 22nd, which, coincidentally, is Russian dictator V.I. Lenin’s birthday. Although Lenin was too busy being dead to directly participate in the first Earth Day celebration in 1970, visitors to his tomb that day swear they heard chuckling.

3) An early supporter of the Earth Day movement was “Population Bomb” author Paul Erlich, whose work presciently predicted the widespread famines and food riots that killed millions of Americans during the Reagan years.

4) One of the most popular Earth Day activities is to reduce usage of water – a rare and precious commodity which few living people have seen outside of pictures – of which barely 400 quadrillion gallons currently remain.

5) Most Earth Day functions you will attend put out “recycling bins” to collect plastic water bottles. This reduces waste and pollution by having the containers hauled away separate from the garbage bins by 20-ton diesel trucks that get 3 miles to the gallon.

6) On Earth Day 2005, over 1000 people stood on a Canadian ice floe to spell out the words “Arctic Warming,” which, unfortunately, local polar bears mis-read as “Free Crunchy Meat Snacks.”

7) The EPA offers a free newsletter with handy Earth Day tips such as “Keep appliances in good working order.” Which is completely useless advice as it doesn’t tell you whether to use a fork or a knife to fix your toaster.

8) Some folks enjoy writing “6 word essays” on Earth Day, like “Many nations. One planet. Our home.” Mostly people who portrayed Indians in westerns during the 1950’s.

9) In preparation for Earth Day, teachers are encouraged to help children learn about global warming by periodically poking them with an “alertness stick” during a screening of “An Inconvenient Truth”.

10) One of the biggest crises addressed during the first Earth Day celebrations was ozone depletion. We don’t care about that any more.

11) Sadly, although Earth Day was founded on an ideal of environmental justice, American law schools still hand out very few degrees to spotted owls.

12) On Earth Day 2003, students in the UK set a world record by planting 4100 trees, which were later cut down by men who skip and jump, like to press wild flowers, put on women’s clothing, and hang around in bars.

13) One of the watchwords of Earth Day is “reuse.” If you see a hobo begging for change using an old Slurpee cup, give him a big ‘ol Earth Day hug of thanks.

14) On the first Earth Day in 1970, activists spilled oil on the sidewalk outside the U.S. Department of the Interior to protest against offshore drilling, completely destroying the crab-fishing industry in the DC metro area.

15) The EPA was founded shortly after, and because of, the first Earth Day in 1970. Since its inception, the EPA has saved enough electricity to power 2 million homes by enforcing laws that prevent power plants from creating that electricity.


Final thought:

Every time someone makes a list of Earth Day activities, they’re really just telling you how you can make hippies cry by doing the opposite.

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #189,480)

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Like a Useful, Minimalist, Iron Man Glove

[Submitted by Anonymiss of Nuking Politics (High Praise!)]

[Robotic glove for people with limited hand function] (Viewer #190)

It tickles the warm fuzzy part of my heart that this thing exists, and is capable of increasing the liberty and independence of people who are disavantaged through no character flaw of their own. I also like the elegance of the design. It solves the problem with not a single piece or part that’s not functional.

Although I imagine they’ll eventually make it more decorative for end-user consumption.

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What I’d Like to See Happen to Obama’s Legacy (Metaphorically Speaking)

[See Through Model Rocket Engine Burning – 4K Slow Motion] (Viewer #53,795)

I’ll be honest, too much blah blah blah, so I jumped to the 1:40 mark to watch the burn. There’s a couple more burns after the first one, but watching them is up to you. I was pretty satisfied with the first one.

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Old Enough to Remember These, Don’t Know if I Ever Actually Used My Key

[Why did old PCs have key locks? [LGR Retrospective]] (Viewer #781,182)

Since I was the only one who ever used my personal computer and I didn’t live with a bunch of hackers & reprobates, there was no reason for me to lock it up. I did however, use the Turbo button from time to time.

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Doesn’t This Technically Encourage Illiteracy?

[Why is THIS the power symbol? [LGR Retrospective]] (Viewer #351,484)

What really blows my mind is that there’s some shadowy, Bilderbergian conspiracy to inflict internationally understandable hieroglyphics on us and replace English language labels.

After all, a few English letters are also just symbols. And I can’t say that they’re any harder to learn after a little exposure and practice.

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Sometimes I Think RICO Should Apply to Colleges

[If High School and College Textbooks Were Honest – Honest Ads] (Viewer #455,142)

I always thought it was really weird that they forced you to buy the hardcover version of these books. It’s not like they needed to be durable. They’re only good for one semester anyway.

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Honest Diet

You know someone on a diet. Heck, it might be you. (You could stand to shed a few pounds, be honest.) But what diet plan should you use?

Well, search no more. Here is the most honest diet plan ever.

[The YouTube]

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13

It was 47 years ago tonight that Apollo 13, having lifted off from their launch pad at Cape Kennedy three days earlier, suffered an explosion en route to the moon. It nearly cost the astronauts their lives.

There have been a lot of things written, and even a decent movie made about the mission. But nothing really compared to actually watching unfold live. Unless you were part of NASA trying to get the astronauts back. Or were one of the astronauts.

I was not quite a teenager, and I remember being glued to the TV as much as I could. I watched the liftoff that Saturday, but wasn’t able to see much during the week, what with school and the TV networks not that interested in “routine” moon missions.

The routine turned into anything but when the explosion happened.

[The YouTube]

Yes, it’s a long video. That’s why I waited until suppertime to post this. Enjoy.

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Nitpicking Deadpool

Cinema Sins is one of my guilty pleasures. I can be a little nit-picky at times. Like during daylight hours. Or dark. But only then. So, Cinema Sins if one of my favorite places to visit on the YouTube.

And, their take on Deadpool was one I found funny. Not as funny as I found the Deadpool movie to be, but still pretty funny.

[The YouTube – CinemaSins]

Did they miss any? Call something a sin that wasn’t? Whaddaya think?

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“GMOs Could Become the New Organic”

[Are GMOs Good or Bad? Genetic Engineering & Our Food] (Viewer #2,370,282)

I say genetically modify all food to make it prettier, cheaper, tastier, and more nutritious. That’s been the goal of farming since the beginning of time, and it’d be danged silly to abandon the chase just when we’re really getting good at it.

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Why Don’t They Just Buy One At Gander Mountain?

[How Indians Build Canoes ( 1946 in Color )] (Viewer #150,047)

There’s just so much of this process that makes me scratch my head and wonder “who’s the first person who thought of doing that?” Like boiling that tree sap stuff to make glue. And why would you even think of peeling the bark off a living tree to make a flotation device in the first place?

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Also, Don’t Ask Whether the Program Will be Solvent in 20 Years

[Social Security Cards Explained] (Viewer #2,244,672)

My driver’s license has more security features than a Vegas heist movie. Even my credit cards have holograms. And my cash has color-shifting ink. Social Security card… I could hand-draw one with a crayon that would be A) accepted everywhere B) more secure than the real thing.

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This Reminds Me a Lot of November 2016

Before the election. I wanted two things: I wanted a Republican to win, and I wanted Hillary to lose. I got both those things. I also got President Trump, which gives me a very uneasy feeling, but I can’t exactly nail down why.

Similarly, I like “Folsom Prison Blues”, and I like “Pinball Wizard”. Clowns make me uneasy, though.

But as with the Trump presidency, the whole of it seems to have more upside than down:

[Folsom Prison Blues/Pinball Wizard Mashup – Johnny Cash – The Who – Puddles Pity Party] (Viewer #25,474)

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See? If Wile E. Coyote Had One of These, He’d Be Eating Roadrunner Right Now

[6ft Rockets in Slow Motion – The Slow Mo Guys] (Viewer #1,174,140)

I never got into model rocketry. Mostly because I lived in town and there were way too many trees and rooftops to fire anything into the air without dire call-the-fire-department consequences. But burning and exploding will always be the two coolest things in the world, and rockets kinda do both, so what could be more fun than to watch it happen spark by spark?

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