CHICAGO (AP) – Struggling for funds, the Barack Obama Presidential Center in Chicago could require a $1.5 billion endowment, its architects say.
Husband-and-wife architectural team Tod Williams and Billie Tsien noted that it will be difficult to raise such a huge sum.
“Normally,” said Williams, “presidents do a little fundraising for their libraries while still in office. Obama never did. He was always like ‘Sorry, dude, I got a tee time’. Still, I think we’ll eventually find a way to get the cash. Nobody has to pay protection money to the Clintons anymore. What else are they going to do with it?”
Tsien noted some of the library’s many amazing features which contribute to its 10-figure price tag.
“This Presidential Library isn’t just some gaudy showpiece of ego-stroking, but rather a monument to President Obama’s great legacy, and even though the price tag is enough to buy the presidency itself – unless you’re Hillary – it is all necessary to fully honor its namesake.”
“For example,” continued Tsien, “every one of its 127 rooms will have a basket of phones and pens, all available free to anyone who wants them. Also, like a regular library, you can check books out if you have a library card. Which everyone will have, because they’re mandatory.
Now, there won’t be a fine for books that are returned late, but there will be one for not having a card.”
“That’s just for starters. There’s also free wi-fi, free arugula, free college, free rooftop golf lessons, free ceremonial job-ready shovels… you name it, he’s giving it away for free. Now we just need someone else’s money to pay for it all.”
Asked to comment on the uncertain financial future of his Presidential library, former President Obama declined to comment, saying “Sorry, dude, I got a tee time.”