I Object to All Forms of Gun Control

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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Straight Line of the Day: Conspiracy Theorists Thought the Mysterious Object Was an Alien Spacecraft. Turned Out It Was…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Conspiracy theorists thought the mysterious object was an alien spacecraft. Turned out it was…

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The Illustrated Frank J: We Prefer to Think of It As a “Public-Private Partnership”

[source]

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Random Thoughts: Alabama and Hallmark

The Republicans in Alabama have a choice between the party of molesters and the other party of molesters who openly hates and despises them.
here’s also the option of staying in your nice warm, safe home where hopefully no one gets molested.

So do we all have to give props to Trump for doing something every previous president promised but never actually did?

I’m literally shaking with rage with tears in my eyes and then the tears are flying everywhere from all the shaking so I’m like a human sprinkler.
I forget what upset me.

Why would you need a permit for a concealed gun? If it’s properly concealed, no one knows you have it and thus no one is going to ask if you have a permit. Dumb.
his also works for other things like cocaine, nuclear weapons, and ferrets. What you need are permits for things when they’re unconcealed. That’s the trick there.

Are people still freaking out over concealed carry? We’ve had it for decades. It’s in 40+ states. Where’s the problem?
The thing about conceal carry is it’s completely useless to criminals. It’s not like you can rob a liquor store and store and go, “Oh. It’s okay. I have a permit.”

Democrats, you don’t get praise for being dragged kicking and screaming to doing the decent thing. You get detested slightly less.

Had a dog that would run to the door barking in a frenzy every time the doorbell rang. Near the end of her life, she’d only lift her head up to bark a couple times before laying it back down. Reminds me of Democrats and gun control.

Hamas is calling for a “day of rage”? Who sees the situation in the Middle East and thinks the solution is “more rage”?

Meant to buy a bitcoin just for The heck of it back when they were $200 but forgot. 🙁
Eh. Everyone wants money for nothing.

As entertaining as President Trump is, I’m ready for President Ned Flanders whenever we want that. Partisans won’t screech any less, but everyone else will probably be a bit less tense.
“Impeach that one for one count of being Trump. And impeach the other for… um… accessory to being Trump.”

One bitcoin is worth $15,000? That sounds pretty useless. McDonald’s isn’t going to make change for that when you buy from the value menu.

Die Hard is not an action movie.

Weird how we’re acting like the country is on fire when by most objective measures things are going really well for the U.S. right now.
checks the news
Oh, the country literally is on fire.

Maybe there’s stuff in the past that was bad and it’s good we got away from it AND stuff that was better in the past and it’s bad we got away from it.

I watched the Death Stranding trailer and in Norman Reedus had a baby down his throat and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.

Christmas is a Die Hard holiday.

I really like the lesson at the end of “The Grinch Who Stole Die Hard” about how watching Die Hard isn’t about viewing it on DVD at a particular time of year, but in fact we can enjoy watching McClane kill terrorists at any time of year on a variety of media formats.

Can’t we shove all the Nazis and the Commies in a time machine and send them back to the 20th century where they’re supposed to be duking things out?
35% chance they team up, though.

A big problem is all the really dumb criticism of Trump which undermines what should be a treasure trove of legit criticism.

With Daniel Shaver, it feels like the idiot barking contradictory orders at him murdered him more than the officer who actually shot him.

Professional journalists don’t get enough credit for when they occasionally get things correct.

I think it might be kinda fun to try and write one of those dumb Hallmark Christmas movies my wife watches, but I don’t think I could resist adding some cool twist to it, like the guy the woman is falling in love with is actually serial killer. Or she is.

By pretty much any survey, Millennials are the worst generation in history at throwing knives.

I’m the only journalist who has never gotten anything wrong.
Whoops. I just incorrectly labeled myself a journalist.

“Here’s a negative story about Trump, and we swear this is one of the times our partisan bias didn’t cause us to screw up the facts.”

I will criticize Trump when he does dumb things, which is a lot. And praise him when he does good things, which is occasional. And I will criticize the media when it makes dumb criticisms of Trump, which is a lot. And praise them when they make smart ones, which is occasional.

Have we hit peak 80s nostalgia yet?
And isn’t Steven Spielberg the wrong person to direct a movie about 80s nostalgia? As a subject of the nostalgia, I doubt his is the relatable perspective.

When I say “the 80s,” one image pops into everyone’s mind: Ronald Reagan playing a keytar.

People need to get better at finding dishonest, populist grifters who aren’t also perverts.

Yes, Netflix making fun of the viewing habits of their own customers is a bit creepy.

Is no one vetting crying, bullied children?
You never make a mistake declaring someone deserves compassion and love.

It’s the second season of The Crown and I feel I’ve waited patiently enough for the queen to finally utter her famous catchphrase “Off with his head!”

My prediction: If Roy Moore loses, Trump’s first tweet will be about how he supported Luther Strange in the primary.
[Ed. Note: It was his second.]

It’s a tense competition for which aggressively mediocre Democrat will get propped up as some kind of savior for 2020.
They’re all dishonest, calculating dummies, people. It’s okay to use them, but stop letting them use you.

So is The Last Jedi any good? Like if you’re someone like me who watched the original trilogy countless times and has been obsessed with since a kid and even saw all the horrible prequels multiple times and am going to see the new movie no matter what, should I go see it?

Elizabeth Warren’s statement of “It’s wrong for Trump to attack Kirsten Gillibrand for being a dumb slut. No MAN should question her whoring herself out for campaign contributions!” was not quite as supportive as I think she meant it to be.

The election in Alabama could have implications all the way from watchmaking to watch repair.

It seems like Queen Elizabeth should have enough time to finish up her reign before the series The Crown catches up with her, but I mistakenly thought something similar when Game of Thrones started airing.

Luther would have won.

Giving up a senate seat is hard, but at least Alabama Republicans can hold their heads higher than Massachusetts Democrats. A tiny modicum of standards is rare with partisanship.

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More Tightly Choreographed Than a WWE Championship Match

The International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons bashed President Trump, saying a nuclear war is just “one impulsive tantrum away“.

We’re safe then. Trump’s tantrums are always deliberate.

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Cartoon of the Day – Baked

Michael P. Ramirez
[Michael P. Ramirez]

Do we need to send the Marines to get that state back? Or build a wall around it?

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Tuesday Night Open Thread

Huddie William Ledbetter. Lead Belly. Some write it as Ledbelly. He wrote it as Lead Belly. And, he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1988, the same year as the Beatles, the Beach Boys, and Bob Dylan.

[The YouTube]

Now, it’s your turn to run things. You control the conversation. It’s Tuesday Night Open Thread.

What’s on your mind?

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“Beclowned” Is a Useful Verb Again

A CNN Trump-bashing story fell apart after the email at the root of it all turned out to be dated September 14th instead of September 4th.

New Trump reelection slogan: “14 more years!”.

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I Now Have an Uncontrollable Fear of Air Bags. What’s the Word for That?

[WHAT Happens INSIDE an AIRBAG?! Slow motion] (Viewer #40,045)

Pretty fun up to 4 minutes. The cannon part isn’t that great, and increasingly dull past the part where he wrecks his own equipment case with the projectile.

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Link of the Day: #1 – It’s a Christmas Movie

[High Praise! to Mental Floss ]

30 Cold, Hard Facts About Die Hard

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Gee, Wonder What Literary Hackery Is Spawning This Trend?

A new report shows that more Americans are turning to witchcraft while participation in traditional religions declines.

Easy fix. Have Harry Potter’s daughter join a convent.

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Maybe Not the Best Fix?

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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Straight Line of the Day: Now Being Used to Comfort Stressed-Out Liberal College Students…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Now being used to comfort stressed-out liberal college students…

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The Illustrated Frank J: And Now the Democrat Response to the Republican Tax Bill

[source]

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No Good Movies Were Made Between Those Two, Or So They Tell Me

Commercial cinemas will be allowed to operate in Saudi Arabia after a 35-year-long ban.

Huh. Place must be run by Bladerunner fanboys.

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