April 21, 2014

Posted: April 21, 2014 9:00 pm

I don’t think I’ve ever sliced a cherry tomato in my life, but should the need ever arise, I think I’ll try this:


[How to Cut Tomatoes Like a Ninja - Cooking Hack] (Viewer #2,715,257)

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Posted: April 21, 2014 8:00 pm

Scientists are saying that there’s no truth to the rumors that a giant underground super-volcano in Yellowstone National Park is about to erupt.

They did, however, say it was an excellent metaphor for Obama printing money to cover the federal debt.

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Posted: April 21, 2014 7:00 pm

Todd Starnes points out that offending Facebook is WAY easy. Just post a not-unfamiliar joke:

“Rancher Bundy should’ve told the feds that those were Mexican cows – who came across the border illegally to seek better grazing opportunities. It was an act of love.”

And watch Facebook tell you that you’ve offended the community, so they’ve removed the post for you.

I… *really*… hate Facebook.

Todd, however, is more forgiving:

For the record, Facebook has the right to censor — it’s their company. And while they may censor conservative and Christian postings, Facebook is quite welcoming and affirming to leftwing diatribes against Republicans, religion and the Tea Party. I just wish the folks at Facebook were a bit more tolerant — and diverse.

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Posted: April 21, 2014 6:00 pm

Honest Slogans

You’ll probably lose quite a bit of time as you keep digging further and further back into the archives. I only wish there were a way to load more than 5 at a time.

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Posted: April 21, 2014 5:00 pm

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Posted: April 21, 2014 4:00 pm

Asked at the Women of the World Summit in New York City what she was most proud of during her tenure as Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton could not provide any concrete examples.

Just 4 slabs of granite.

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Posted: April 21, 2014 2:00 pm

Raising wages is not just a job for organizers, not just a job for elected officials – it’s also a job for businesses.

@BarackObama

“Who will soon have no jobs for anyone, anymore, if the organizers and elected officials keep meddling.”

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Posted: April 21, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Hillary’s new book will be called…

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Posted: April 21, 2014 10:00 am

20140418MikeLester
[Mike Lester - GoComics]

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Posted: April 21, 2014 9:00 am

We have near 100% literacy, but long ago, literacy used to be rare. And I bet blog comment sections were a lot more intelligent back then.

What was the hard choice that Hillary made? Whether to stick with her sexually abusive husband because it helped her political career?

Paul Krugman considers carefully the opinions of everyone in his sensory deprivation chamber.

Hate it when you notice nails need trimming but forget to do it before you go out the door and spend rest of day feeling like Freddy Krueger

Pretty much everyone is an extremist. We shouldn’t trust anyone. Even ourselves. I have no idea what I’m talking about.

We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal and that Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

So it was global warming that caused the flood, and it wasn’t God that warned Noah about it but climate scientists.

He knew all your faults. All your failures. The darkness in your soul you never admitted to anyone. And His reaction was to die for you.

Science can find answers to all the questions except the important ones.

I shutdown my computer to try and be more productive, but it didn’t work at my programming job :(

I’m not sure how this will affect her presidential campaign, but doctors say Hillary Clinton is suffering from the early stages of oldness.

I wouldn’t want to be a king because then I’d just constantly worry about my crown molding.

Snowden seems like a bit of a useful idiot. I’m just not quite sure useful to whom.

Hillary would go into the presidential race with much more experience than Obama had at being a blank cipher.

I just looked up Hitler on Wikipedia and he was not a nice guy. I’m sorry I compared you all to him.

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Posted: April 21, 2014 8:00 am

During a high-profile criminal trial, an alcoholic Manhattan court stenographer repeatedly typed, “I hate my job, I hate my job” instead of the trial dialogue.

Eliciting a brief letter from Jay Carney, which said simply “live the dream, bro”.

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April 20, 2014

Posted: April 20, 2014 10:00 pm

I’m sure there’s a political metaphor in there somewhere, but if you don’t feel like digging for it, go ahead and just enjoy the fruits of thousands of hours of rehearsal. These gals make this look effortless.

Which – trust me – is REALLY hard to do when there’s a cello involved (says the former cello player).


[Salut Salon "Wettstreit zu viert"] (Viewer #2,163,355)

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Posted: April 20, 2014 8:00 pm

A new poll shows Americans trust the IRS more than Facebook.

I suppose Facebook might’ve scored better on the survey if they had the power to audit their critics, too.

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Posted: April 20, 2014 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to Bored Panda]

22 Hilariously Derpy Animals

Now, these pictures are perfectly entertaining on their own (especially eerily-human smile-dog), but I find it ramps it up a bit if you imagine them all captioned “I helped design Healthcare.gov!”

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Posted: April 20, 2014 3:00 pm

Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.


From Dodsfall:

[reference link]

From Smilin’ Jack:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Amer-I-Can:

From Fatwa Arbuckle:

[reference link] (Obscury!)

From Hatless in Hattiesburg:

From Kris:

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

[reference link]

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


Fatwa Arbuckle, for remembering a line everyone in the media has worked so hard to pretend never happened.


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

IMAGE SOURCES: Lots of great Obama pics to be found at the White House Flickr page.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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Posted: April 20, 2014 12:00 pm

In response to Russia’s Ukraine actions, NASA suspended the exchange of emails with Russian officials.

Poor Russia. Now they’ll never acquire the technology to underfund a space agency.

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Posted: April 20, 2014 10:00 am

DoctorWhoSeason17I’m watching all the classic Doctor Who episodes. I began with the first season, from 1963. I’m not up to Season 17, which aired in late 1979 into 1980. The season is a milestone of sorts. With this season, Tom Baker began his sixth season as The Doctor, exceeding the number of seasons Jon Pertwee played the character.

The season also saw a new Romana. She’s a Time Lord (Time Lady?), remember. And, she began the season by regenerating. They never explained why. The previous incarnation (Mary Tamm) looked perfectly good to me. But, Miss Tamm wasn’t happy with the direction of her character. She was initially reluctant to assume the role in Season 16, expressing concerns that she’d be the typical damsel in distress. She was told that her character was also a Time Lord (Time Lady?), and would be an equal to The Doctor. Of course, she ended up being a damsel in distress. And, she left the show.

IMG_0086

Rejected Romana 1

Mary Tamm later said that she’d have gladly filmed a regeneration scene, if they liked. They didn’t, and in a departure from The Doctor’s regenerations, Romana actually tried on various appearances. Initially, she took the appearance of Princess Astra, from Season 16′s The Armageddon Factor, but The Doctor insisted she couldn’t just go around copying people. She then took the appearance of a short purple woman, then a mature belly dancer, then a very tall woman. The Doctor finally agreed on the Astra appearance, and Lella Ward joined the cast as Romana.

The season had production problems late in the year. The final serial planned, Shada (6 episodes) was never finished due to a strike. The strike actually delayed the completion of the serial, but, by the time it was resolved, BBC decided to not complete the serial so that resources could be directed toward completing Christmas programming for the network.

Douglas Adams’s influence as Script Editor was evident in the first serial of the season, Destiny of the Daleks (4 episodes). Early on, The Doctor is trapped beneath some rubble, and Romana goes for help. To pass the time, he pulls out a paperback copy of Oolon Caluphid’s Origins of the Universe. In case you forgot, or never knew, Oolon Caluphid is a character from Douglas Adams’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. In the Hitchhiker’s Guide, though, that particular book isn’t mentioned.

IMG_0087

Rejected Romana 2

This does bring three fictional universes together. Doctor Who brought in references to the Nigel Kneale’s Quatermass series of films, radio plays, and books as far back as Season Seven. That was never official, mostly because Kneale disliked Doctor Who, but still evident in conversation. The integration with the Hitchhiker’s Guide universe is with that franchise creator’s blessing, of course.

There is a continuity problem with the second serial, City of Death (4 episoded). At the end of Season 16, it was established that The Doctor had installed a randomizer in the TARDIS, so he didn’t know where he’d end up, and so the Black Guardian couldn’t know. Only, in City of Death, he sets the coordinates for Florence in 1505, to meet Leonardo da Vinci.

Another is Romana’s age. She gave one age (140) to The Doctor at the start of Season 16, and another age (125) to a character in the show. Just goes to show you how women always lie about their age. I hope The Doctor doesn’t get arrested by Gallifrey police on morals charges and have to tell them “But, she told me she was 140.”

Then there’s the origins of life on Earth. The Doctor visits Earth 400 million years ago, and mentions that life is about to form. He was off by a factor of nearly 10, since there is evidence of life on Earth as long as 3.8 billion years ago.

IMG_0088

Rejected Romana 3

I did enjoy a couple of cameos in that serial. John Cleese played a man who thinks the TARDIS is a work of art in a museum. His companion is played by Eleanor Bron, who, despite her long resume, will, to me, always be Princess Ahme from Help!

Stars Wars fans would recognize Julian Glover, who played the serial’s main villain, Scaroth, as General Veers from The Empire Strikes Back. Of course, he’s had a long, successful career and you really should know him as Julian Glover, not as General Veers or the bad guy from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, or the dude from Game of Thrones, or the bad guy from that James Bond movie with the Sheena Easton song, or any other particular role. He’s a good villain, but that’s because he’s a good actor.

Oh, yeah, Catherine Schell was in that serial, too. She’s hot in anything. Well, not as that hairy woman from Space 1999, but anything else.

The strike-shortened season ended with a serial based on the Greek story of Theseus, who slew the Minotaur. The Horns of Nimon (4 episodes) features a critter that looked like a space minotaur. It also had youths to be sacrificed, and a maze.

The serial that was supposed to be the season finale was Shada (6 episodes), but, as mentioned, it never aired. In 1992, the BBC filmed a narrative around the story, with Tom Baker. This was 11 years after he left the role of The Doctor, and nearly three years after the BBC stopped broadcasting the show.

IMG_0094

Tom Baker filling in missing scenes on Shada

The episodes, with Baker’s narration was released on VHS, and later on DVD (it is still available on DVD), but that’s it. The DVD is still available for purchase.

The story, written by Douglas Adams, is so-so. A little convoluted — but what by Douglas Adams wasn’t — with typical non-realistic “Doctor Who science,” such as a carbon dating of a book determining an age of 20,000 years. Since carbon dating is based on the decay of carbon-14 and its relationship to carbon-12, you can’t have an increase in carbon-14 by taking an item back in time. It would measure the length of the items’s relative time in existence, not its age from any known point. Now, I’m not opposed to there being a way to determine that an item is from the future, but carbon dating isn’t it. Douglas Adams knew better. And, as both script author and series story editor, this never should have happened.

Oh, well. Maybe I was just expecting more, based on how much I enjoyed Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Then, I didn’t care a whole lot for Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, so perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised. Or disappointed.

Although I did see some Doctor Who episodes with Tom Baker on PBS many years ago, so far, I can’t say with certainty that I remember any of them. And, I’ve now completed the sixth of Tom Baker’s seven seasons as The Doctor. I do recall knowing about Daleks, and since the Daleks only made two appearances during the Tom Baker years, I had to have seen at least part of one of the serials. But, I just don’t remember it.

Strange, that the years for which the classic show is known, the Tom Baker years, are years where I don’t remember them well, and aren’t particularly enjoying now. William Hartnell’s years were great. Patrick Troughton’s were enjoyable. Jon Pertwee’s were, too, although I didn’t like the idea that he was Earth-bound most of the time.

Well, there’s one more Tom Baker season to perhaps bring him up from his current standing of my 4th favorite Doctor. On to Season 18.

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Posted: April 20, 2014 8:00 am

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

[reference link]

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Posted: April 20, 2014 7:00 am

EmptyTombLuke 24: 1-9

  1. Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them.
  2. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.
  3. And they entered in, and found not the body of the Lord Jesus.
  4. And it came to pass, as they were much perplexed thereabout, behold, two men stood by them in shining garments:
  5. And as they were afraid, and bowed down their faces to the earth, they said unto them, Why seek ye the living among the dead?
  6. He is not here, but is risen: remember how he spake unto you when he was yet in Galilee,
  7. Saying, The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again.
  8. And they remembered his words,
  9. And returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest.
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April 19, 2014

Posted: April 19, 2014 10:00 pm

[High Praise! to Bob in Feenicks]

Pass this one along to all your Global Warming friends.

This was what their ilk was panicking about in 1978.


[In Search Of... The Coming Ice Age] (Viewer #7,678)

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