July 28, 2014

Posted: July 28, 2014 9:00 am

Palestinian leaders are calling for a “day of rage.” Great idea. That’s the problem with the Middle East: not enough rage.

How about instead of a “day of rage” they do a “day of not stupid”?

Went to get coffee, but forgot to bring my coffee mug. That’s the sort of poor thinking that happens before you have coffee.

Did you know there are people who don’t drink coffee? They are the people who are tired and stupid all day long.

Hans Gruber wrote a lot of the Obamacare bill? Can’t say I’m surprised.

So has Hamas ever tried to coherently explain what they hope to achieve by launching rockets at Israel?

PHASE 1: Launch rockets at Israeli civilians
PHASE 2: ???
PHASE 3: Palestinian statehood!

My name was plagiarized from my dad’s name.

I guess I’m for female superheroes like Wonder Woman, but what if saving the world involves math?

My tip for modern, female superheroes: pants. If you’re going to save the world, wear some pants.

A lot of female superheroes dress like saving the world has a bathing suit competition.

Holy. Look at this giant, 3-star review of my book that I don’t even think once mentions my book (I only scanned it).

Just marvel at the insanity that thinking writing a giant rant about “tea-baggers” in a random Amazon review was a great use of time.

I guess I don’t know what it’s like to think you have something to say but no place to say it where it will be paid attention to.

Well, I guess I did when I first started a blog back in 2002. But it didn’t take long to find an audience because I’m awesome.

I always roll my eyes when Chief Sitting Bull tells a joke; they’re all so maizey.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Posted: July 28, 2014 8:00 am

Chrysler announced that its 2015 Dodge Challenger will come with a 707 horsepower engine.

Not to be outdone, GM’s Chevy Volt has added soundproof windows so you can’t hear people laughing at you.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

July 27, 2014

Posted: July 27, 2014 10:00 pm

(Submitted by Anonymiss of Nuking Politics [High Praise!])


[How to a Create Chocolate out of Nothing] (Viewer #110,412)

Hint: with the video paused, click at 5 seconds and at 28 seconds, see if you notice a change.

Full explanation here. (Might want to turn down the volume. That music’s kind of annoying).

Also, if you try it with a Hershey Bar, the problem is a little more obvious.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 27, 2014 8:00 pm

Researchers have unveiled a new smartphone app that warns pedestrians of impending vehicle collisions.

Very useful for Obama appointees wondering when it’s their turn under the bus.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 27, 2014 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to The Daily Rash]

Obama Sends Troops to Border After Learning Illegals Deny Climate Change

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 27, 2014 3:00 pm

Submit entries to lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.


From me (Harvey):

[reference link]

From Roger:

From Smilin’ Jack:

From Travelwise42 of Wise Up:

From walruskkkch:

[reference link](Obscury!)

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

[reference link]

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

From walruskkkch:

[reference link]

BONUS LINK from Mark:

Leading Obama Left – you’ll probably need to scroll down and read the detailed description in the right-hand column to get all the references, because there are a LOT of them.


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


walruskkkch, for actually staying awake that far into “The French Connection”


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

IMAGE SOURCES: Lots of great Obama pics to be found at the White House Flickr page.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 27, 2014 12:00 pm

A new study shows that angry, hostile people are twice as likely to have a stroke.

Most dangerous job in America: MSNBC talk show host.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 27, 2014 8:00 am

[title reference link]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

July 26, 2014

Posted: July 26, 2014 10:00 pm


[Diggy Diggy Hole] (Viewer #3,223,830)

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 26, 2014 8:00 pm

The San Francisco Giants organization is considering a policy to ban fans from wearing “culturally-insensitive” attire at AT&T Park.

Well, they had to make SOME sort of gesture to placate the offended Elevated-Americans that keep pestering them for a name change.

[title reference link]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 26, 2014 6:00 pm

[High Praise! to ScrappleFace]

Michelle Obama Denies Calling Clinton “Hildebeest”

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 26, 2014 3:00 pm


[How a Chemist Lights a Barbecue] (Viewer #109,664)

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 26, 2014 12:00 pm

Asked why he hasn’t visited the Mexican border, President Obama said “I’m not interested on photo ops”.

Absolutely. Just ask any Rose Garden doctor in a borrowed lab coat.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 26, 2014 8:00 am

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

July 25, 2014

Posted: July 25, 2014 10:00 pm

(Link submitted by Anonymiss of Nuking Politics via Interesting Engineering [High Praise!])

The device uses voice commands to open his daily schedule, view maps and provide information about temperature and weather. To prevent the prototype from tilting to the right side where the screen is, he put an elastic strap holding it to the back of the head.

Note to Google Glass wearers: this is how ridiculous you look to me.

Except that at least this kid is doing it because he’s got an adventurous streak of science-love like ol’ Tom Edison.

YOU… are a just trend-slave who’s too lazy to reach into his pocket to check his phone.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 25, 2014 9:00 pm

(Submitted by RAML [High Praise!])


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #24,375)

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 25, 2014 8:00 pm

Lois Lerner’s IRS lawyer admitted that she “did print out some emails”.

Let me guess… she lost them all in a high-stakes, live-action, Rock-Paper-Scissors game?

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 25, 2014 7:00 pm

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 25, 2014 6:00 pm

(Submitted by Anonymiss of Nuking Politics [High Praise!])

My least favorite thing in the world is when someone on the internet spreads out a list over more than one page just to get more clicks.

Having said that, this list is pretty good and arguably worth clicking on 5 times:

24 Genius Life Hacks Everyone Needs To Know Right Now

But here’s Genius Life Hack 25: don’t spread lists over several pages just to get more clicks. It reflects poorly on your character, because it shows that you’re selfish and refuse to consider your reader’s convenience. Why make someone suffer through 5 page loads like that? It’s as rude as letting the door close in someone’s face instead of holding it open for 2 more seconds so the person behind you can pass through.

So, 25: Be Courteous on the Internet… Genius

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Posted: July 25, 2014 4:00 pm

The UN atomic agency said that insurgents in Iraq have stolen nuclear material from a research facility.

Better watch out, terrorists. You’re in serious danger of getting a resolution written at you.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)