Posts Tagged ‘bacon’

Wake up to bacon

Friday, March 7, 2014 11:00 am

Did ya hear about the new app and iPhone dongle from Oscar Mayer?

It’s an alarm clark app that runs on your iPhone. And when the alarm sounds, it sounds like bacon. And, looks like bacon.

WUASTB

And … and here’s the best part … it smells like bacon. If, and that’s a big if, you have the dongle. It plugs into your iPhone and, when the alarm sounds, emits the aroma of bacon. So you can wake to the sight, sound, and smell of bacon.

Here’s the problem: you can’t buy one. You have to register to win one at an Oscar Mayer Website. I entered. Didn’t win. Entered again. Still didn’t win. Maybe they’ve given them all away. Or maybe I’m just not lucky enough to win one.

But, if you have one, I’d love to hear about it. Does it really work? I assume it does, but since I don’t know anyone who has one, I’ve not heard first-hand about it.

Wait a minute. Suppose they don’t have any, and never had any? What if every entry gets the same response: Sorry, you didn’t win. I mean, what if it’s a scam? They’re getting news coverage about it, stupid bloggers are going to their Website and registering and then writing up about it so that others can go to the Website…

Um.

I think I’ll just go eat some bacon. Which is really what they wanted all along. But that’s okay. It’s what I want too.

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No joke

Friday, September 6, 2013 10:00 am

It started as a joke:

FarmerBillysChocoBaconBars2

FarmerBillysChocoBaconBars

But it turned into something real:

WorldMarketChocolateBacon
[World Market]

And just when you thought there was no good news left in this world.

You’re welcome.

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More Pledges for America

Thursday, September 23, 2010 11:01 am

The GOP has unveiled “A Pledge to America”, listing their agenda when they take back the House. It’s pretty good, but I can think of a few things to spice it up and really help the Republicans win in November:

MORE PLEDGES FOR AMERICA

* Our nation’s borders will be protected by giant robots.

* Foods will no longer get FDA approval unless they contain bacon.

* To help stimulate the economy, people who whine about the rich will be fired out of cannons.

* We will have a new manned mission to the moon and build a libertarian utopia there.

* We will keep reducing the federal government until it can be run out of some guy’s garage.

* Anytime there is a tax increase, one of the people who voted for it will be randomly chosen to be a human sacrifice to Moloch, god of taxes.

* Obamacare will be destroyed, and all perpetrators of it will be hunted down and forced to battle to the death in the Thunderdome.

* Any new spending increases must receive written permission from all voters.

What do you want added to the GOP agenda?

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Makin’ Bacon out of a Molehill

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 1:28 am

Well, well, well.

It’s seems I got somebody’s goat. Or pig. Or something.

A post I wrote that appeared both on my little blog and at IMAO has garnered the attention of Ace of Spades HQ. Okay, it was the IMAO posting. They’ve never heard of my little blog.

The took extreme exception to my ridiculing the purchase of ham by the government. The government didn’t like people poking fun at them either. The Secretary of Agriculture went so far as to issue a statement that they bought a lot of ham for that price, not just 2 pounds. They said they paid $1.50/lb., which is about twice what you can find it for on sale at your favorite grocery store.

Heck, I thought we did good, poking fun at government spending. I even got a jab in on the Twitter, saying that “In 6 months, Obama has taken government spending from pork to ham.” Some folks didn’t get it, completely unaware that ham is a special cut of pork, missing the backhanded jab.

So, what’s Ace of Spades HQ — good folks, by the way — got to do with all this?

It seems they’ve declared war on IMAO over it. Because I “dared to insult ham and by association all other delicious pork products (including bacon) by questioning its value under current economic recovery programs.”

I understand why they’re targeting IMAO. It’s one of the big fish. My little blog is … well, small. It’s not worth their efforts. They’re targeting the big boys. Like when weasel lawyers go after big companies when some regular guy does something to offend some thin-skinned cry-baby. IMAO is the big blog, so Frank J., Harvey, SarahK, spacemonkey, Right Wing Duck, et al, are now targeted. Over something that I wrote.

Well, let’s set the record straight, shall we?

I was called “a blogger named after an herb.” They are referring to “basil,” pronounced “BAY-sill.” In fact, my name is “Basil,” pronounced “BAZ-il,” a name of Latin origin that means “kingly.”

My love of pork? I would not say that it’s legendary, but I would say it goes back as far as I can remember. I dare say I’ve slopped more hogs than most of the commenters … and bloggers … at Ace of Spades HQ. I’d wager that many of them have never heard of slopping hogs.

Most of them have only been to pig barbeques in just one state, much less in multiple countries, as have I.

How many of them, I wonder, can say that their relatives were known for the pork products they served in their hometown?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Bacon is a regular around here at breakfast. As it should be.

Unless I eat breakfast on the way to work. Then, it’s either bacon or sausage, depending on my mood. And where I eat. If it’s Cracker Barrel, then it’s ham, bacon, and sausage (the Sunrise Sampler®).

And, it’s just not Christmas around the house here without ham sandwiches while we open presents. Ah, the smell of the Christmas ham cooking when morning comes!

Heck, I bet these supposed pig experts don’t even know the words to Peter Percival Patterson’s Pet Pig Porky. I had the album.

However, I will say that I’m not ape-sh*t crazy over pork products. And, I like Spam®, because it’s made of pork shoulder and ham. It tastes great. It’s spam (UCE) that I don’t like. Many pork purists don’t care for Spam®. But they probably don’t like peanut butter and jelly.

So, if the folks at Ace of Spades HQ have a problem with anyone, it’s with me. Not with the good folks at IMAO. Heck, guys, check out the sidebar! I’m listed on the blogroll, not as one of the official bloggers list. I’m merely a guest. Frank J. has been kind enough to allow me to post from time to time. Taking aim at Frank J. is unfair.

If any of the pork posers at Ace of Spades HQ have a problem, it’s with me.

And, if any want to settle this, we can settle it like men. That’s right: Barbeque pork ribs at 20 paces. Warning: I’m from Georgia; I’ll make you squeal like a pig.

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