Posts Tagged ‘Democrats’

The check’s in the mail … and other lies

Thursday, May 30, 2013 10:00 am

Comrade Michelle gives a powerful speech.

Comrade Michelle gives a powerful speech.


Have you written your check to FLOTUS yet? She wants your money, you know.

At a fundraiser for Democrat Senate candidate Ed Markey, she told the crowd, “Keep writing those checks. And if you haven’t maxed out, max out!

And she’s right. Don’t be selfish with the money the government lets you keep. What were you going to do with it? Buy food? Braces for the kid? Birthday presents? That’s just selfish.

You need to be sending your money to the Democrats. And you need to blame the Republicans for not allowing the government to keep more of your paycheck. Sure, the GOP has gone along with some of the tax and spend policies of the Democrats, but nowhere near enough. I mean, you still have money left, right?

Well, you shouldn’t. So, do the right thing. Send the money to the Democrats. Max out.

After all, it’ll only hurt for a little while (NSFW link).

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What Democrats believe

Friday, September 21, 2012 7:00 am

CBS reports that only 15% of Democrats believe the economic news is bad.

Now, I know that math doesn’t seem to apply to Democrats. But it does. So, this means that 85% of Democrats either believe the economy is doing just fine — or at least don’t think it’s doing badly.

A Democrat takes a look at the high unemployment rate, which is even higher than reported if you take into account people who’ve given up looking for work, and figures things are going smoothly.

A Democrat sees gas prices twice what they were when Obama took office and thinks that’s just peachy.

A Democrat sees banks closing and thinks that’s just chock full of awesome.

What else might someone like that believe?

  • The tooth fairy.
  • MSNBC.
  • Free lunch.
  • Bigfoot.
  • Elvis working at a Burger King.
  • Fire won’t melt steel.
  • Bush blew up the towers.
  • Bush blew up the levees.
  • Aliens at Roswell.
  • Obama is qualified for … anything.
  • Magic.
  • Squirrels are actually spies working for the Mole People.
  • You can borrow your way out of debt.
  • Those people trying to kill us? They’re really, really nice.
  • The Moon Landing was faked.
  • The birth certificate is real.

Okay, maybe they’re right about one of those things.

Damn squirrels.

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Where would you hide?

Friday, August 31, 2012 1:26 pm

The Secretary of State won’t be in Charlotte next week. That’s right, Hillary Clinton will skip the Democrat National Convention. Seems she has another meeting to go to. In The Cook Islands. That’s a 28-hour flight by commercial airliners.

Now, sure, she’s working. She’ll be meeting with some dignitaries from Volcanoland or something. And, it’s not like she didn’t attend this yearly conference last year … although she didn’t; she sent her chauffeur or somebody.

Bottom line is, she’s getting as far away from this year’s DNC as possible, possibly resting up for a run against President Romney in 2016.

And I’m not criticizing her. I’m not getting near Charlotte next week, either. Nothing against Charlotte, mind you. I personally wouldn’t mind being in Charlotte … if I could visit John Boy and Billy. But I can’t so I won’t.

Anyway, we know where Hillary’s gonna be: about as far away as possible without actually leaving the planet.

I wonder, though: where would be some good places for Democrats to go instead of Charlotte? Where are some good hiding places?

Suggestions?

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Is this the deliverance from Republicans the Democrats meant?

Wednesday, August 22, 2012 8:01 am

Joe Biden is running his mouth again.

It’s always interesting when he does that. You get a glimpse at what goes on in a liberal’s mind.

For instance, yesterday, when talking to some folks in Minnesota, he said, “”Over the objections where they sound like squealing pigs, over the objections of (Mitt) Romney and all his allies, we passed some of the toughest Wall Street regulations in history.”

Squealing pigs?

I don’t know that it would be my place to argue with the vice president. After all, he, the president, and the Democrats in Congress have been making America squeal like a pig for years.

If you ever run into Joe Biden, and he says you “have a purty mouf,” run. The odds of Burt Reynolds being nearby with a bow and arrow to save you are very slim.

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Blazing Democrats

Monday, October 24, 2011 2:20 am

Equal time for the Democrats? Sure, why not.


[Direct link]

See previous: Blazing Republicans

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Democrat math

Monday, September 19, 2011 5:26 am

Have you seen Obama’s new proposal? Remember that bill he wanted Congress to pass that night he gave the speech. It seems they finally got around to writing it. It calls for “$1.5 trillion in new tax revenue” plus another $1.5 trillion in spending cuts over 10 years.

What cuts?

Well, it cuts $250 billion from Medicare over 10 years. How much did Paul Ryan’s plan — the one where the Democrats showed grandma being thrown off a cliff — cut in the next 10 years? Zero. I guess Obama doesn’t want to wait until 2022 to toss grandma off a cliff. He threw his under the bus, so why not toss yours over a cliff, right?

Oh, yes, there are other savings, too. $330 billion from cuts to Medicaid and farm subsidies, according to the reports.

So, that’s 1/2 trillion dollars. Where does the other $1 trillion come from? The military. Specifically, it would be from money not spent on troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So, does that mean that if Congress doesn’t pass the bill, he’s going to leave the troops over there? Is Obama kidnapping our military and holding them for ransom?

Because if the troops were coming home anyway, the money saved from bringing them back wouldn’t count as part of the proposal, right?

Here’s how his math works.

Raise taxes $1.5 trillion. Cut Medicare, Medicaid, and farm subsidies a third of that. That equals $3 trillion in savings.

Yeah, I can’t get the numbers to add up either. Or figure out how raising taxes is savings.

Must be another example of where reality is to be ignored in order to follow Dear Leader’s plan. There seems to be a lot of that.

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You don’t deserve your money!

Thursday, September 15, 2011 11:38 am
Rep. Jan Schakowsky, D IL-9

I know. Some of you get up in the morning, dress, grab a quick bite or maybe a cup of coffee, and head to work.

Or, perhaps, you work odd hours. Sometimes long days.

Maybe you work a second job to help make ends meet.

I’ve done all of those things. Perhaps you have too, or still are.

But, whatever the circumstances, you work to earn your pay.

Only, you don’t deserve it. Really. Check with Jan Schakowsky, the Democrat who represents Illinois’ 9th district, who was speaking on WLS Radio:

I’ll put it this way. You don’t deserve to keep all of it and it’s not a question of deserving because what government is, is those things that we decide to do together.

Now, don’t you feel ashamed of yourself? Thinking that the money you earned is yours. Or that you deserve it.

Thank goodness we have Democrats to set us straight.

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Horrors! Republicans wants illegal things to be crimes! The brutes!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011 10:45 pm

DNC Chair Wasserman Schultz is claiming that Republicans want to consider being an illegal alien a crime.

Oh, the humanity! The horror! The … what’s that again?


[Direct link]

Yes, she’s appalled that Republicans would want people who are in this country illegally to be considered … illegal.

Well, well, well. Let’s look up “illegal” in the dictionary. Merriam-Webster. Not Urban Dictionary. That’s useful for looking up words and phrases you hear on Red Eye. But for regular words that normal people use, Merriam-Webster will do.

illegal: adj \(ˌ)i(l)-ˈlē-gəl\
not according to or authorized by law : unlawful, illicit

Synonyms: criminal, felonious, illegitimate, illicit, lawless, unlawful, wrongful
Antonyms: lawful, legal, legitimate

And those evil, evil Republicans want illegals to be considered the first word listed by Merriam-Webster as a synonym: criminal. Can you imagine.

We did some checking. And she’s right. And not only that, here are some other things Republicans consider to be true that are contrary to her and the Democrats way of thinking. Besides being somewhere illegally being a crime.

  • Fire is hot.
  • Water is wet.
  • Sky is blue.
  • Women have secrets.
  • Ice is cold.
  • Grass is green.
  • Diamonds are hard.
  • Circles are round.
  • Bacon is yummy.
  • Roses are red.
  • Violets are purples.
  • Sugar is sweet.
  • So’s maple surple.
  • Ducks quack.

It must be nice to be that stupid and still get paid.

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Zo: Examining Black Loyalty to Democrats

Wednesday, May 25, 2011 8:49 pm

Zo. From last year. Worth another viewing.


[Direct link]

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Wait until his dad finds out it’s available in white

Tuesday, April 19, 2011 8:00 am

Jesse Jackson, Jr. — living proof that Chicago is full of idiots — says that the iPad kills jobs. Not Steve Jobs. Employment jobs.

(The iPad is ) probably responsible for eliminating thousands of American jobs. Now Borders is closing stores because, why do you need to go to Borders anymore? Why do you need to go to Barnes & Noble? Buy an iPad and download your newspaper, download your book, download your magazine.

When his dad, noted racist scam artist Jesse Jackson, finds out that the iPad comes in white things will really get nasty.

But, in fairness, Jesse Jackson, Jr. is right. The iPad does kill jobs. And we need to put a stop to it now!

But, we don’t need to focus on the iPad alone. We should also be wary of other technologies that eliminate jobs.

Like the automobile. Think of all the livery stables that could shut down if this whole automobile thing catches on. And blacksmiths. How many blacksmiths are able to get through the lean times because of the horseshoe trade? They may have to shut down, too.

The aeroplane. If people start using these flying machines to travel, the stagecoach could go the way of the dinosaur. Then what would Wells Fargo do? Go into banking?

Guns. This one item alone could shut down the spear making industry.

Printing press. Just the thought of this thing catching on and putting all those scribes out of work.

Television. People might stay home instead of going to a vaudeville or burlesque show. What will mediocre comedians do? And what will strippers do? It could be the end of an industry.

Yes, it’s horrible all the jobs that will be lost because of these new-fangled devices. We must nip this in the bud.

Let’s follow Jesse Jackson, Jr’s lead. Let’s start by stopping the iPad.

In fact, you can send your iPad to me. That’ll save hundreds, nay, thousands of jobs.

Do your part, America.

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The obligatory “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” parody

Wednesday, December 15, 2010 11:19 pm


Every You
Down in You-ville
Liked Tax-Cuts a lot…


But the Wench,
Who was far left of You-ville,
Did NOT!


The Wench hated Tax-Cuts! There would be no pleasin’
The Yous. Don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason.


It could be that her head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that her face was too tight.


But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that her heart was two sizes too small.


But,
Whatever the reason,
Her face or her heart,
She stood with her gavel and said with a start,
“The Yous have their money; they earned it, it’s true,
But I shan’t let any money be controlled by a You!”


“The government knows what is best,” said the Wench,
Ignoring all government programs’ bad stench.
“It’s been nearly ten years since that evil George Bush
Sent Tax-Cuts through Congress with a great big push.”


“They’re set to expire,” the Wench said with delight.
“But the Keynesian gave up with barely a fight.”


And she frowned. The Wench frowned. Yes she frowned. Frowned. Frowned. Frowned.
She frowned and she stomped all around on the ground.


The GOP had won a battle it seemed.
An agreement had been reached with the White House that deemed
That the Tax-Cuts would stay for another two years.
The thought of that brought the Wench so close to tears.


She snarled and she fumed and she said “This won’t stand.
The Yous’ money is mine.” And she needed a plan.


She’s plotting and planning and scheming right now.
She wants to kill all the Tax-Cuts. But how?


Unlike the Grinch of the Seuss tale years ago,
The Wench’s cold heart still refuses to grow.


She wants to kill Tax-Cuts and pillage your wallet.
Remember in 2012 at the ballot!

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Nancy Pelosi: It wasn’t my fault

Monday, November 15, 2010 6:10 am

I’ve been reading that Nancy Pelosi says the recent Democrat losses in the House of Representatives weren’t her fault.

It sort of reminded me of Jake’s excuses in The Blues Brothers:

What does it remind you of?

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Don’t give in, Nancy

Thursday, November 11, 2010 6:30 am

Them internets are crawling with stories that Democrats in Congress are wanting Nancy Pelosi to step aside as that party’s leader in the House of Representatives.

I think she should stay on the job. Not that you could say “job well done” about her. On the contrary, she’s led this country down the road to hell.

But, that’s exactly why she should stay on the job.

With Nancy Pelosi as the leader of the Democrats in the House of Representatives, she’s a reminder of what happens when you put a bunch of socialists in charge of important things. And everyone knows that socialists should be in charge of getting their dirt out of Boss Kean’s ditch … and nothing more.

If the Democrats replace Nancy Pelosi, they might pick someone who doesn’t remind Americans that Democrats are idiots who shouldn’t be trusted.

So, I really really want her to stay in charge of the House Democrats.

They deserve each other.

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Job well done

Thursday, November 4, 2010 6:26 am

Nancy Pelosi summed up her term as Speaker of the House: “Job well done.”

No, really. She actually said that:

“We believe we did the right thing, and we worked very hard in our campaigns to convey that to the American people,” she said. “Nine and a half percent unemployment is a very eclipsing event. If people don’t have a job, they’re not too interested in how you intend for them to have a job. They want to see results.”

Asked to assess her tenure, Pelosi quickly answered, “Job well done.”

See? You thought I made that up. But I didn’t. She actually said that.

But, you know, thinking about it … she may be right. Depending on what she thought her job was.

  • If you thought your job was to bring America to the brink of financial ruin, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to make Americans miss having Republicans in charge, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to ram through ill-conceived, unwanted legislation, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to stand there and look stupid, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to bring Congress’ approval rating down to all-time lows, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to help Americans understand that voters in your district are stark raving mad, then job well done.
  • If you thought your job was to be the punchline of a joke, then job well done.

How would you assess Nancy Pelosi’s job?

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One of these things is not like the other … except where they are

Monday, September 20, 2010 11:41 pm

So, Republican Christine O’Donnell is a crackpot because she said that masturbation is lust outside of marriage, and that is equivalent to adultery?

What she actually said was:

“Lust in your heart is committing adultery, and you can’t masturbate without lust.”

Ever heard that part about lust and adultery before?

Sure you have. There is this little book called The Bible. Maybe you’re familiar with it?

“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

— Matthew 5:27-28

Then again, if you only know what you read in the newspapers or hear on the TV, you might have missed that.

Jimmy Carter in Playboy Magazine

Unless you remember the 1976 presidential election, when the Democrat nominee, Jimmy Carter, told Playboy magazine the same thing about lust and adultery:

“The Bible says, ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery.’ Christ said, I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust has in his heart already committed adultery. I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times…”

Now, Carter did catch a lot of crap about that interview. Part was because he gave the interview to Playboy. Part because of what he said about lust and adultery.

He was the butt of jokes at the time. But, it didn’t cost him the election. It actually helped him in the Bible Belt. The Playboy part didn’t; the Bible quote did.

Will O’Donnell be hurt by the talk about masturbation, lust, and adultery? I don’t know.

Is the media treating her fairly over it?

Well, I haven’t seen any media outlet approach Jimmy Carter for a comment on O’Donnell. That silence says a lot.

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Now Democrats are saying don’t elect someone who supports Democrats

Friday, September 17, 2010 10:26 pm

In Alabama’s State Senate district 27, there’s an interesting battle going on.

The Democrat Party nominee is 8-term incumbent, Ted Little.

The Republican Party nominee is Tom Whatley.

What makes this so interesting is that the Democrat is criticizing the Republican by saying he’s really a Democrat.


[Direct link]
Tip: Doc’s Political Parlor and Home of Lawn Mower Repair

It’s not that Ted Little’s ad is making any false claims. As far as I can tell, the ad is true.

But it’s funny to see a Democrat criticizing an opponent … by calling him a Democrat.

Little, the Democrat, is saying don’t vote for the Republican because the Republican supports Democrats and you don’t want someone who supports Democrats winning this election!

This is certainly an interesting political year.

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Harry Reid Shows Affection, Creepiness

Thursday, September 16, 2010 1:02 pm

So in praising Christine O’Donnell’s opponent, Chris Coons, Harry Reid said, “He’s my pet.” That guy just doesn’t know how to not be creepy. And here’s some other things he said in praise of Coons:

OTHER THINGS HARRY REID SAID IN PRAISE OF COONS

* “I want to keep him in a pit and make him put the lotion on the skin.”

* “Please make him Senator! I promise to walk him every day!”

* “I wish we could both die side-by-side in a fiery car wreck so we could always be together.”

* “I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George.”

* “Tee hee. It makes me giggle when he eats from my hand.”

* “When I gaze into his eyes, I finally understand why some people turn to murder-suicide.”

* “I wish I had a miniature version of him I could keep in my pocket at all times.”

* “I just want to lick his face! Don’t you want to lick his face?”

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It’s all so clear to me now

Friday, July 2, 2010 5:47 am

Thanks, Nancy Pelosi.

Without her brilliance, I would be a simple conservative Neanderthal that thought that more people getting unemployment meant that more jobs were being lost.

Silly me. And you, if you thought the same way.

Turns out that, according to Pelosi, when more people are paid unemployment, that means more jobs are being created, not lost:


[Direct link]

Now, don’t you feel silly?

This new awareness got me to thinking. If more people getting unemployment checks means that more jobs are being created, what else having I been wrong about?

I’ve compiled a partial list:

  • Rain falling from the sky means we’re in a drought.
  • People flying planes into our buildings means that we are evil.
  • Water flows uphill.
  • You can get out of debt by borrowing more money to spend.
  • Record snowfall means it’s hotter.
  • All your base are belong to us.
  • You can secure the borders by leaving them wide open.
  • You can lose weight by eating more and exercising less.
  • Government money is really free money that doesn’t cost anyone anything.
  • Resistance is futile.
  • Cats are not evil.

I wonder what other lessons are there for me to still learn?

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Insanity

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 6:30 am

Whether or not Einstein said it, it’s true that doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is a definition of insanity. Keep that in mind…

So many problems are created by government. Not that government is a bad thing; it’s not. But out-of-control government is a very bad thing.

The bailouts — first begun when Bush was president, but under the direction of a Democrat Congress — were something I opposed when they were proposed.

The bank failure was caused by government. And the bailout was government getting more involved.

Think about this: if you put a bunch of monkeys in a room and let them run loose, and they caused damage to the walls and furniture, would you then give those same monkeys hammers, nails, and paint, asking them to fix things?

No, you’d remove the monkeys and deal with the consequences. It might be a rough time for a bit, what with all the mess the monkeys made, in addition to all the collateral damage that will result. But that’s what you’d do.

Of course, it was your fault for putting the monkeys in charge to start with.

In case you missed it, them monkeys? Democrats. Keep that in mind in November.

And keep in mind that insanity quote.

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Consitution? We don’t need no stinking Constitution

Friday, April 2, 2010 7:27 am

Those wacky Illinois politicians. And this one’s not even from Chicago.

Rep. Phil Hare (D-IL-17) says he doesn’t worry about the Constitution (tip: Allahpundit)


[Direct link]

When he swore to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” he must have been talking about defending against himself.

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