Equal time for the Democrats? Sure, why not.

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See previous: Blazing Republicans

Have you seen Obama’s new proposal? Remember that bill he wanted Congress to pass that night he gave the speech. It seems they finally got around to writing it. It calls for “$1.5 trillion in new tax revenue” plus another $1.5 trillion in spending cuts over 10 years.

What cuts?

Well, it cuts $250 billion from Medicare over 10 years. How much did Paul Ryan’s plan — the one where the Democrats showed grandma being thrown off a cliff — cut in the next 10 years? Zero. I guess Obama doesn’t want to wait until 2022 to toss grandma off a cliff. He threw his under the bus, so why not toss yours over a cliff, right?

Oh, yes, there are other savings, too. $330 billion from cuts to Medicaid and farm subsidies, according to the reports.

So, that’s 1/2 trillion dollars. Where does the other $1 trillion come from? The military. Specifically, it would be from money not spent on troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So, does that mean that if Congress doesn’t pass the bill, he’s going to leave the troops over there? Is Obama kidnapping our military and holding them for ransom?

Because if the troops were coming home anyway, the money saved from bringing them back wouldn’t count as part of the proposal, right?

Here’s how his math works.

Raise taxes $1.5 trillion. Cut Medicare, Medicaid, and farm subsidies a third of that. That equals $3 trillion in savings.

Yeah, I can’t get the numbers to add up either. Or figure out how raising taxes is savings.

Must be another example of where reality is to be ignored in order to follow Dear Leader’s plan. There seems to be a lot of that.

Rep. Jan Schakowsky, D IL-9

I know. Some of you get up in the morning, dress, grab a quick bite or maybe a cup of coffee, and head to work.

Or, perhaps, you work odd hours. Sometimes long days.

Maybe you work a second job to help make ends meet.

I’ve done all of those things. Perhaps you have too, or still are.

But, whatever the circumstances, you work to earn your pay.

Only, you don’t deserve it. Really. Check with Jan Schakowsky, the Democrat who represents Illinois’ 9th district, who was speaking on WLS Radio:

I’ll put it this way. You don’t deserve to keep all of it and it’s not a question of deserving because what government is, is those things that we decide to do together.

Now, don’t you feel ashamed of yourself? Thinking that the money you earned is yours. Or that you deserve it.

Thank goodness we have Democrats to set us straight.

DNC Chair Wasserman Schultz is claiming that Republicans want to consider being an illegal alien a crime.

Oh, the humanity! The horror! The … what’s that again?

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Yes, she’s appalled that Republicans would want people who are in this country illegally to be considered … illegal.

Well, well, well. Let’s look up “illegal” in the dictionary. Merriam-Webster. Not Urban Dictionary. That’s useful for looking up words and phrases you hear on Red Eye. But for regular words that normal people use, Merriam-Webster will do.

illegal: adj \(ˌ)i(l)-ˈlē-gəl\
not according to or authorized by law : unlawful, illicit

Synonyms: criminal, felonious, illegitimate, illicit, lawless, unlawful, wrongful
Antonyms: lawful, legal, legitimate

And those evil, evil Republicans want illegals to be considered the first word listed by Merriam-Webster as a synonym: criminal. Can you imagine.

We did some checking. And she’s right. And not only that, here are some other things Republicans consider to be true that are contrary to her and the Democrats way of thinking. Besides being somewhere illegally being a crime.

• Fire is hot.
• Water is wet.
• Sky is blue.
• Women have secrets.
• Ice is cold.
• Grass is green.
• Diamonds are hard.
• Circles are round.
• Bacon is yummy.
• Roses are red.
• Violets are purples.
• Sugar is sweet.
• So’s maple surple.
• Ducks quack.

It must be nice to be that stupid and still get paid.

Zo. From last year. Worth another viewing.

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Jesse Jackson, Jr. — living proof that Chicago is full of idiots — says that the iPad kills jobs. Not Steve Jobs. Employment jobs.

(The iPad is ) probably responsible for eliminating thousands of American jobs. Now Borders is closing stores because, why do you need to go to Borders anymore? Why do you need to go to Barnes & Noble? Buy an iPad and download your newspaper, download your book, download your magazine.

When his dad, noted racist scam artist Jesse Jackson, finds out that the iPad comes in white things will really get nasty.

But, in fairness, Jesse Jackson, Jr. is right. The iPad does kill jobs. And we need to put a stop to it now!

But, we don’t need to focus on the iPad alone. We should also be wary of other technologies that eliminate jobs.

Like the automobile. Think of all the livery stables that could shut down if this whole automobile thing catches on. And blacksmiths. How many blacksmiths are able to get through the lean times because of the horseshoe trade? They may have to shut down, too.

The aeroplane. If people start using these flying machines to travel, the stagecoach could go the way of the dinosaur. Then what would Wells Fargo do? Go into banking?

Guns. This one item alone could shut down the spear making industry.

Printing press. Just the thought of this thing catching on and putting all those scribes out of work.

Television. People might stay home instead of going to a vaudeville or burlesque show. What will mediocre comedians do? And what will strippers do? It could be the end of an industry.

Yes, it’s horrible all the jobs that will be lost because of these new-fangled devices. We must nip this in the bud.

Let’s follow Jesse Jackson, Jr’s lead. Let’s start by stopping the iPad.

In fact, you can send your iPad to me. That’ll save hundreds, nay, thousands of jobs.

Do your part, America.

Every You
Down in You-ville
Liked Tax-Cuts a lot…

But the Wench,
Who was far left of You-ville,
Did NOT!

The Wench hated Tax-Cuts! There would be no pleasin’
The Yous. Don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason.

It could be that her head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that her face was too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that her heart was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
Her face or her heart,
She stood with her gavel and said with a start,
“The Yous have their money; they earned it, it’s true,
But I shan’t let any money be controlled by a You!”

“The government knows what is best,” said the Wench,
Ignoring all government programs’ bad stench.
“It’s been nearly ten years since that evil George Bush
Sent Tax-Cuts through Congress with a great big push.”

“They’re set to expire,” the Wench said with delight.
“But the Keynesian gave up with barely a fight.”

And she frowned. The Wench frowned. Yes she frowned. Frowned. Frowned. Frowned.
She frowned and she stomped all around on the ground.

The GOP had won a battle it seemed.
An agreement had been reached with the White House that deemed
That the Tax-Cuts would stay for another two years.
The thought of that brought the Wench so close to tears.

She snarled and she fumed and she said “This won’t stand.
The Yous’ money is mine.” And she needed a plan.

She’s plotting and planning and scheming right now.
She wants to kill all the Tax-Cuts. But how?

Unlike the Grinch of the Seuss tale years ago,
The Wench’s cold heart still refuses to grow.

She wants to kill Tax-Cuts and pillage your wallet.
Remember in 2012 at the ballot!

I’ve been reading that Nancy Pelosi says the recent Democrat losses in the House of Representatives weren’t her fault.

It sort of reminded me of Jake’s excuses in The Blues Brothers:

What does it remind you of?

Them internets are crawling with stories that Democrats in Congress are wanting Nancy Pelosi to step aside as that party’s leader in the House of Representatives.

I think she should stay on the job. Not that you could say “job well done” about her. On the contrary, she’s led this country down the road to hell.

But, that’s exactly why she should stay on the job.

With Nancy Pelosi as the leader of the Democrats in the House of Representatives, she’s a reminder of what happens when you put a bunch of socialists in charge of important things. And everyone knows that socialists should be in charge of getting their dirt out of Boss Kean’s ditch … and nothing more.

If the Democrats replace Nancy Pelosi, they might pick someone who doesn’t remind Americans that Democrats are idiots who shouldn’t be trusted.

So, I really really want her to stay in charge of the House Democrats.

They deserve each other.

Nancy Pelosi summed up her term as Speaker of the House: “Job well done.”

No, really. She actually said that:

“We believe we did the right thing, and we worked very hard in our campaigns to convey that to the American people,” she said. “Nine and a half percent unemployment is a very eclipsing event. If people don’t have a job, they’re not too interested in how you intend for them to have a job. They want to see results.”

Asked to assess her tenure, Pelosi quickly answered, “Job well done.”

See? You thought I made that up. But I didn’t. She actually said that.

But, you know, thinking about it … she may be right. Depending on what she thought her job was.

• If you thought your job was to bring America to the brink of financial ruin, then job well done.
• If you thought your job was to make Americans miss having Republicans in charge, then job well done.
• If you thought your job was to ram through ill-conceived, unwanted legislation, then job well done.
• If you thought your job was to stand there and look stupid, then job well done.
• If you thought your job was to bring Congress’ approval rating down to all-time lows, then job well done.
• If you thought your job was to help Americans understand that voters in your district are stark raving mad, then job well done.
• If you thought your job was to be the punchline of a joke, then job well done.

How would you assess Nancy Pelosi’s job?