One of the things you hear about from time to time are worries about a government shutdown. The Congress and the president always seem to find a way to avoid it. And, those ways always involve increasing the debt.

I got an idea. Let the government shut down.

No, I’m serious.

You see, the government doesn’t really shut down. All but essential services are stopped.

Think about that. Let that sink in.

Essential government services continue.

And that’s the clue to the entire problem: the government is performing non-essential services.

I’ve actually had this discussion with people. When I mention that the government shouldn’t be performing non-essential services, they counter with “Oh, but people are dependent on those services!”

Really. They’re justifying non-essential services by citing people that are so screwed up they can’t survive without them. But here’s the thing: they can. The services are non-essential. That means — and this is the part that so many people don’t seem to grasp — the services are not essential.

Oh, sure, there’ll be problems. But there will be problems anyway. The question is, when is the best time to deal with them: now, while they’re huge. Or later, when they’re even more huge.

Like Sarah Connor said, there’s a storm coming.

Stock up.

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NASA discovers life on Earth

Hello, I’m Dwayne Brown, NASA’s token black guy. And I’m here to introduce a bunch of white folks who called this news conference to announce that they’ve discovered life on Earth.

Seriously. These crackers here have taken your hard-earned money that your Congressmen gave them and, rather than look for life on Mars or, as some in the media speculated, Saturn’s moon Titan, they went to some lake in California and found microbes.

Hell, you can find all sorts of strange life in California. I mean, it’s freakin’ California! You ever walk the streets of some of those towns?

Tell you what. Let me let these so-called “scientists” tell you themselves about what they’ve wasted your money on. Which one of you wants to go first?
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What’s the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?

I assume you saw where the government, as part of its economic recovery program, has purchased $1,191,200 of ham. How much ham is that? Two pounds. No, really. (Hat tip: American Thinker and KOSMOSNET)

Don’t get discouraged. If you think all the government does is pay lots of money for ham, you’d be wrong.

They also pay lots of money for cheese. $1,562,568 for mozzarella cheese. (Hat tip:

Now, to be fair, it doesn’t say exactly how much cheese the government gets for $1,562,568, but I have enough faith in my government to believe that it’s enough to go with $1,191,200 of ham.

Assuming that’s the case, what’s the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?

Feed the world.

Remember, Jesus fed five thousand with five loaves of bread and two fish. Surely, Obama can do better.

There were only about 200-300 million people in the world during Jesus’ lifetime. That’s less than the number of people living in the U.S. today. Shouldn’t be a problem for Obama, should it?

With all that ham (TWO POUNDS … and it’s SLICED!) and cheese (mozzarella, no less) the government bought, world hunger will soon be a thing of the past. And, for the measly price of $2,753,768 it’s a bargain!

Ham and cheese for everybody!

Oh. Except for the Jews.

And the Muslims.

Oh, heck. I think I’ve found the flaw in the plan.

I wonder if there’s any way Obama can blame this on Biden? Or Bush?

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