Image: The Mirror

Some people appear to getting their panties in a wad over the pope laying hands on some guy and praying. They’re saying he performed an exorcism on the guy right there in line at St. Peter’s Square.

Here’s the video:

[Source: YouTube]

Now, it looks to me like he did exactly what I said in the opening sentence: he laid hands on a fellow and offered a prayer. Heck, I’ve seen Baptists do that, so I’m certainly not surprised when the Bishop of Rome does it.

But, some folks are going all gaga over it, calling it an exorcism. And, heck, maybe it was.

If it was, and Pope Francis can do that (and I’m not doubting it), I wonder if maybe he’ll do it again sometime.

I suggest his next visit to Washington, DC, would be a great time. So, in case the head of the Roman Catholic Church is reading this, here’s what to do:

• From Reagan National, have the driver take the George Washington Parkway to I-395 North.
• Take the US-1 exit, merging onto US-1/14th Street.
• Left on Madison.
• Right on 15th NW.
• Left onto E Street/Pennsylvania Avenue (you’ll need to show ID, it’s restricted).
• Take the first right.
• Ask for Barack.

I wish you much success!

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Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

I was shocked — Shocked! — to learn that the chairman of the Democrat party in Georgia, an attorney named Mike Belon, is being disciplined by the State Bar.

Now, it’s only a Review Board Reprimand, which means no fine or suspension. I’m not sure if it even comes with a “don’t do that again.” What did he do? Well, according to WAOK radio:

The client had claimed Berlon failed to file paperwork as requested and paid an investigator without permission.

Berlon tells The Associated Press he takes responsibility for the miscommunication with the client on legal strategy.

So, a Democrat is supposed to be working for someone, but has no idea what the client wants, and it ends up costing the client more?

Heck, he’s presidential material. If you consider Obama presidential.

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KRQE-TV/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CN

Read an article earlier this month about a worker at an Intel plant that sued over a “kick me” sign others placed on his back. The lawsuit wasn’t just because of the sign, but because people at work actually kicked him. You can go read about it if you want.

The thing is, it gave me an idea. What if somebody put a sign on Obama’s back?

Now, I don’t know if he’d sue, but I’d be willing to take that chance. But would you?

If you had the chance to put a sign on Obama’s back, would you? And, if so, what would it say?

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Calling Dr. Killbot

Robots have been in the news lately. There’s a robot that’s been operating on people, and killing some of them.

I know. You’re thinking that the Three Laws won’t let that happen. Well, guess what? The Three Laws are just fiction. Killer medical robots are real.

There’s an AP report out of Chicago that tells of one busy robot:

… a million-dollar, multi-armed robot named da Vinci, used in nearly 400,000 surgeries nationwide last year …

Did you know that? Some multi-armed robot has been doing surgery all across the country, at the rate of over 1,000 a day.

And, if that’s not enough, it’s a killer robot:

… the high-tech helper is under scrutiny over reports of problems, including several deaths that may be linked with it …

If I had told you when Congress was getting ready to pass Obamacare that in 2013, we’d have killer robots operating on people, you’d've said I was a right-wing nutcase.

Yeah, well, the Associated Press backs me up. We got killer robots playing doctor. And not in the fun way.

You thought all you had to look out for was drones. But now you have to be wary of multi-armed killer medical robots.

If I were you, I’d play it safe and avoid all multi-armed robots. For a while, at least.

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Photo: Ramon Espinosa/AP

Seems some folks are getting their panties in a wad over Mr. & Mrs. Shawn Corey Carter’s trip to Cuba. You may know the Carters as Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Or, you may not.

Mrs. Carter is the one called Beyoncé, in case you aren’t familiar. She’s a singer or something. She also acts. You may have seen her in the Austin Powers movie Goldmember where she played Tamara Dobson.

Mr. Carter is a singer and part owner of the Brooklyn Nets, a former ABA team.

Anyway, now that you know who they are, they’re catching a lot of grief over their trip to Cuba. They went for their fifth wedding anniversary.

“So, where do you want to go for our anniversary, Sweetheart?”

“Well, I’ve always dreamed of walking the streets of a city where there are chickens running around loose.”

“How about Cuba? Lots of places like that down there.”

“Perfect!”

Okay, maybe that’s not how it went, but then again, maybe it was. You don’t know.

A couple of Florida Congressmen (okay, a Congressman and a Congresswoman) are all up in arms over it, according to the Washington Post.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with their trip to Cuba. I’m all in favor of them going there. I’m even more supportive of them staying there.

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The Associated Press — and apparently it’s the political correct crowd with whom they are associated — has decided to stop using the term “illegal immigrant” to describe an illegal immigrant.

According to the AP blog, Senior Vice President and Executive Editor Kathleen Carroll says:

The Stylebook no longer sanctions the term “illegal immigrant” or the use of “illegal” to describe a person.

So, what should they call them?

I kinda like Jay Leno’s suggestion (as quoted by Andrew Malcom):

AP, the world’s largest newsgathering organization, bans the term ‘illegal immigrant.’ From now on AP will call them ‘undocumented Democrats.’

Maybe there’s a better term for an illegal immigrant.

Foreign invader, perhaps?

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Photo: AP

The Speaker of the House trusts Barack Obama.

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: “What’s the punchline?” Yeah, there’s not one. John Boehner says he “absolutely” trusts Barack Obama:

Boehner said “hope springs eternal” in regards to the possibility of a budget deal, and told (ABC News correspondent Martha) Raddatz that he has a “very good relationship” with President Obama and that he “absolutely” trusts him. He added that the president’s recent outreach — or so called “charm offensive” — intended to woo Republicans, is a “good thing.”

It’s nice to know that Boehner trusts Obama. I was worried that all the lies and tricks Obama had told and pulled over his life would make him untrustworthy. But Boehner can see right through that, and know that Obama can be trusted.

And that’s good news. Boehner will be able to work with the president to make good things happen. I believe he’ll work with Obama and deliver a good, workable plan for the future of the country. After all, Boehner delivers. Just think about how he managed to deliver his home state in the last election.

Now, don’t you feel better?

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Bill Gates has a wonderful idea: give Barack Obama more power. Because that’s the problem: Obama doesn’t have enough power.

Being able to kill you with a drone strike while you are sitting on your couch at home isn’t enough.

Being able to take all your money and give it to people who sit on their couch all day long, isn’t enough. (And, no, those aren’t the one’s Obama would send a drone after.)

Raising your taxes isn’t enough.

Taking your guns isn’t enough.

No, Obama needs more power. So says Bill Gates.

This is the same Bill Gates that released MS-DOS 4, by the way. And Windows ME. And Windows Vista.

Yes, that Bill Gates. He wants Obama to have more power.

Now you know why I have a Mac.

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Dennis Tito wants to go to Mars. In fact, he says he’s blasting off to head to the Red Planet in January, 2018. Look at a calendar; that’s less than five years from now.

I know what you’re thinking: Who the heck is Dennis Tito? Well, he’s the guy that, in 2001, paid the Russians a bunch of money to take him to the space station. He’s the first private citizen to go to space. Now, he wants to go to Mars.

I kinda got my doubts about the feasibility of a trip to Mars, at least right now. But, hey, it’s his money; he can do what he wants with it.

But just wait until the liberals find out what an investment consultant is planning. They’ll throw a hissy fit. Someone like Dennis Tito wasting all that money on a trip to Mars when the government could waste that money right here on Earth.

I’m kinda with the liberals on this one. Kinda. Let me explain.

I think the first person to Mars should be Barack Obama. I mean, he’s as well-qualified to be an astronaut — or would he be a cosmonaut? — as he was to be elected president. Or to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Or… well, anything he’s done. His lack of qualifications haven’t stopped him from being all these other things, so why should they stop him from being the first man to Mars?

And, we shouldn’t wait, either. Send him now. Tomorrow. Heck, send him today.

Sure, there are some problems with the physics involved, since the positions of Earth and Mars right now make the trip a little difficult. But, if they simply put a “Physics-Free Zone” sign on the rocket, he’ll get there and back in around 500 days. Maybe even less.

There’s also the problem of oxygen. Obama would need oxygen. A lot of oxygen if he talks a lot. But, as wonderful and magical as he is — giving us free phones and food stamps and such — I bet when he breaths out, it’s not carbon dioxide, but even more oxygen. So, that problem is solved.

Of course, there’s the issue with food. [See previous paragraph and apply to this topic because I don't really want to write about that.]

Anyway, I say we send Obama to Mars.

Except…

There’s the whole problem with space radiation exposure during such a long trip. What if the 1950s movies were right, and it caused Obama to grow to incredible size when he gets back to Earth? He’d go crazy and destroy everything.

Of course, he’s kinda doing that now, but at least we’d get a 500-day reprieve. So, let the countdown begin!

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Have you seen the new meteor impact heat map?

Well, there’s a map that plots all of the recorded meteorite impacts on Earth since 2300 BC. Note, this is recorded impacts. If no one saw it or found evidence of it, it’s not recorded. That’s why there aren’t a whole lot shown over the oceans. So, it’s not a full mapping of every meteor impact, just those we know about.

You can go to the interactive map and zoom in or select any place on earth. It contains information about each strike. I found it interesting.

Naturally, it’s inspired by the recent meteor strike in Russia. But, it’s not the only map inspired by recent events.

Here’s a map of areas of the United States that are victims of the economic impact of Obama and Democrat policies. Those adversely affected are shown in purple.

It’s a little more accurate than the meteor map. And a lot more scary.

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While skywatchers were focused on Asteroid 2012 DA14, a meteorite hit Russia this morning, injuring hundreds.

[Direct link]

Well played, Mother Nature. Well played.

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A group of six Georgia legislators have proposed a bill in the State House that would make certain fake images illegal. Like when you take the head of one person and put it on, say, a porn star? That would be a crime under the bill.

The actual wording of House Bill 39 says:

… a person commits defamation when he or she causes an unknowing person wrongfully to be identified as the person in an obscene depiction …

The bill goes on to describe what “nudity,” “obscene depiction,” and “sexual conduct” means, in case you didn’t know. It also describes all the fun/naughty parts that make nudity, obscene, and sexual actually nudity, obscene, and sexual.

The six Democrats — you knew the sponsors were all Democrats, right? — really don’t like that kind of humor. Two of them were victims of such prankery, Pam Dickerson* (who introduced a similar bill last year) and Earnest Smith*. The blog Georgia Politics Unfiltered is one of the culprits that prompted such actions. You can search that site for more images, if you want. You don’t want. Trust me.

Still, I understand that those that are victims of such actions might not like it. But, a crime? Such thin skin.

Maybe I’d feel differently if I was the victim of such actions. And, no, this is NOT a call to photoshop some image of my head on a porn star’s body.

Unless it was Jenna Jameson. I’ve always wanted to be Jenna Jameson.

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There’s an asteroid heading towards Earth. It’s named 2012 DA14 — it was named after its great-grandfather, I assume — and discovered by Spanish astronomers about a year ago.

Oh, it’s not going to hit the Earth. It’ll come within 17,000 miles of the planet, but that’s as close as it will get … this time.

Those of you who were hoping for a killer asteroid to destroy the planet would’ve been disappointed anyway. Had it hit Earth, it would have created a blast roughly equal to the Tunguska event. Hardly a planet killer.

So, if you want to witness to destruction of civilization as we know it, you’ll have to settle for watching Obama on the news.

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[Source: Chuck Asay - GoComics]

My buddy Paul Mitchell says:

Call me kooky, but if gay men want to teach knot tying and go camping with young boys, why don’t they just advertise free camping trips for young boys? I am sure that most parents would be glad to let their boys go camping with gay men.

The Boy Scout Oath:

On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.

Consider this post my effort to do a good turn daily.

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Image: GlobalPost

Word is that in North Korea, smaller is better. At least when it comes to breasts.

Seems that in the DPRK, large-breasted women are an object of shame. Or something. It’s kinda hard to figure out. Here’s how Google translates it:

One trillion sukhyang Mr. other North Korean women, “In the North, large breasts tightly tucked around. Big Tits in the North was a shame Korea is the belle of the conditions in the sludge was amazing, “he said.

Okay, that’s kinda hard to figure out. Here’s the same passage of the article, as translated by Bing:

Another hostage takers turned to North Korea’s “premature, the chest is freakin’ skimming. Big boobs in North Korea was a shameful condition of La Belle in Korea was fabulous, “he said.

You see why it’s so hard to figure out.

Anyway, I think this phenomenon needs further study.

Volunteers?

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The boycott that liberals called on Chick-Fil-A last year certainly made an impact.

The Atlanta food chain released figures at the request of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution — the chain is private and doesn’t have to release numbers — and here’s what they showed: sales were up 14% to $4.6-billion, and the company opened 96 new stores.

Now, to be sure, the AJC is taking the approach that all this good financial news happened despite the boycott. The AJC is a liberal paper — not as liberal as some, but way too liberal for my tastes — and spins stories to their point of view.

Still, sales up 14%? 96 new stores providing hundreds of new jobs?

I wish someone would boycott me.

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Photo: Canadian Space Agency

An orbiting robot gas station ran a successful test refueling of a mock satellite. That’s the word from a report this past week:

Dextre, a twin-armed robot from Canada, topped off the fuel tank in the mockup, showing how satellites’ life can be extended, according to the Canadian Space Agency (CSA).

Operating on the Robotic Refueling Mission (RRM) module, Dextre removed safety caps and cut through retaining wires before transferring liquid ethanol to the mockup, which is about the size of a washing machine.

That’s right. The Canadian Space Agency. Not NASA.

Now, I have nothing against our friends to the north. I’ve not spent a lot of time in Canada, but have visited. The places I went were nice. The only problem I found is they don’t know how to make breakfast sausage. Every breakfast I ate there has sausage that tasted like sawdust.

And now, a country that can’t even make breakfast right is able to make robot gas stations in space while the U.S. space program is canceling programs and focusing on Muslim outreach.

I’m thinking we wouldn’t be in this situation if we had an American president. Or Democrats who actually loved America.

Forward!

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What’s the fastest-growing cause of death in New York City?

Consider this: in 2012, there were 55 deaths by this cause; if this year’s pace continues, 2013 will record 116 deaths.

The cause? Subways.

No, not the sandwich shop, the transportation method.

While that’s not as many people as are killed by other means, it’s one of the fastest-growing causes of death, according to information in a CBS report.

When will liberals call for a ban on subways? I mean, that’s the next step, right? Only, how would they do it?

Ban high-capacity trains? Require a permit to own a subway token?

That’s your task: using liberal logic (?!), tell us how a liberal would handle the increase in subway deaths.

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The White House wants you hackers to hack.

Yep, on June 1 and 2, they want you to participate in a National Day of Civic Hacking. They’re wanting hackers to participate in all 50 states. As I write this, 27 cities are participating, including 5 in Georgia, counting Columbus (where I am).

I don’t see Boise on the list, so I don’t know if Frank is going to participate. I think Harvey is within 100 miles of one of them, but I don’t know if he’s going to participate. It’s a weekend, so people that have Monday-Friday jobs will be able to play along.

Am I going to participate? I don’t know. A lot, but not all, of the computer hacky types around here are goofy liberals. I might show up just to piss them off.

Anyway, if you were to participate, what would you do?

How would you “hack for a cause?”

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Two strippers in Juneau, Wisconsin got into a fight over a dollar.

Now, I know times are tough, but two strippers fighting over a dollar? It happens. I suppose.

What’s unusual about this…. Notice that so far, we’re talking about two strippers fighting over a dollar, and I’m saying this isn’t the unusual part. I’m not an expert on stripper fights, but I suspect that two strippers fighting over a dollar is kinda rare in and of itself. No, there’s more. One of the strippers is pregnant.

Now, I have no idea how pregnant the stripper is, but apparently there’s a market for pregnant strippers.

Of course, it is under Obama’s watch — into its fifth year, now — that the economy got so bad that strippers, including one with child, are fighting over a dollar. So, if you’re into that kinda thing, this is how the economy is getting better. For a dollar, some guy got to watch two strippers (one pregnant) tear each other’s hair out.

Forward!

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