According to CBS News, Jon Huntsman said he won’t light his hair on fire in tonight’s debate.

I didn’t realize that was even a possibility that he might do that. I mean, if he has to actually say he won’t, then either it had been under discussion, or people think he’s crazy enough to consider it. I’m leaning toward the latter; Huntsman was part of the Obama administration, after all, and if that doesn’t say crazy, I dont’ know what does … other than supporting Ron Paul.

Anyway, we now know to not expect Jon Huntsman to light his hair on fire. And now I’m wondering what else we won’t see.

• Michele Bachmann won’t swing from the ceiling like a monkey. (Ron Paul might, but Bachmann definitely won’t.)
• Newt Gingrich will not propose everyone get naked and cook hamburgers. (But Ron Paul might.)
• Herman Cain won’t sing “I’m a little teapot, short and stout.” (Although Ron Paul won’t rule it out.)
• Mitt Romney won’t show his underwear, although Ron Paul will show his.
• Rick Perry won’t pull a gun on the panel. A knife, maybe, but not a gun.
• Rick Santorum won’t answer every question with an 80s power ballad.

If you plan to watch tonight’s debate, you now know what to not expect.

I haven’t followed much of the whole Occupy Wall Street thing for a few reasons. First, unless it’s well-financed by lots of money, it’ll go away soon. Next, it’s up in New York, and that kind of stuff won’t happen around here.

Only, now, there’s an Occupy Atlanta group. Which is a little closer to home.

Now, lots of people confuse Atlanta with Georgia. Atlanta is in Georgia, but Atlanta isn’t Georgia. (Don’t make me spend a bunch of time explaining the difference; it’ll end up with you acknowledging I’m right and a lot of time wasted. Or, you could just accept what I say save yourself a lot of time and aggravation. Agreed? Good.)

The geography involved with protests being in Atlanta makes the whole protest thing suddenly relevant to people who live or work in Georgia.

Nobody really knows what they’re protesting. Maybe the Braves’ end-of-season collapse, I don’t know. Best I can tell, they saw some protests on the television and said, “Hey, we can do that!” And so they are doing that.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has decided that they’re protesting “corporate greed and the war in Afghanistan,” although it couldn’t find anyone to actually say that. They did find a fellow from Copwatch, an anti-police group, who’s not sure why they’re there, either.

Just like a pile of manure attracts flies, the Occupy Atlanta protests have attracted flies like John Lewis.

The whole left likes to make out like he’s some civil rights hero or something. He’s not. He was a media whore then, and he’s a media whore now. And, in case you forgot, he’s the little liar who made false claims that TEA Party protesters hurled racial epithets at him. They didn’t.

So there are the players: a protest group that doesn’t know what they’re protesting about and a long-time left-wing protester who got himself elected to Congress a while back.

Lewis showed up at the Occupy Atlanta the other day, wanting to show his supporte for their protests about … whatever the hell it is they’re protesting. And, he wanted to address the group. They told him “no.”

Who do you root for in this one? John Lewis, who’s way past his 15 minutes? Or Occupy Atlanta, which has camped out in Woodruff Park (where Atlanta’s homeless-away-from-home reside).

I’m sort of amused by all this. Media Whore vs Media Whore. I just wish they were a little further way.

In case you weren’t aware, Barack Obama is teh awesomest person in the whole wide world. Just ask him. Or Nancy Pelosi.

The former Speaker of the House and current Minority Leader who represents Planet San Francisco, told The Weekly Standard that, without Obama’s 2009 Stimulus, we’d be in worse shape than we are now:

“Without the Recovery Act and accompanying federal interventions, whether from the Fed, or Cash for Clunkers, or other initiatives, the unemployment rate last year at the time of the election would have been fourteen and a half percent, not nine and a half percent,” said Minority Leader Pelosi.

You see? You see? The Stimulus was a good thing. Crazy Aunt Nancy said so.

I wonder why she stopped there, though. Because there must have been more that the Obama Stimulus did. Because Obama and the Democrats are so awesome you know.

We did some digging, and found out that, not only did the Obama Stimulus save 8.3 million imaginary jobs, it did a bunch of other things, too.

• It helped Steve Jobs invent the iPad.
• The stimulus kept the asteroid 99942 Apophis from striking the Earth.
• It killed Osama bin Laden.
• The stimulus won Super Bowl XLV.
• It blew up the Death Star.
• The stimulus is what gave the Old Spice Guy his job.
• That thing you thought you lost? The stimulus actually found it and put it there on the table for you.
• It kept the sun from burning out.
• Remember when Global Warming was going to melt all the ice caps by 2011? The stimulus stopped it.
• The stimulus saved Chuck Norris.
• It kept Windows 7 from sucking as bad as Windows Vista.
• The stimulus kept Pluto from leaving the solar system after scientists fired it.

There are so many wonderful things the stimulus has done, we need a new one every month.

ESPN pulled the standard Hank Williams, Jr. opening from Monday Night Football after some comments the singer made on Fox and Friends:

In an interview Monday morning on Fox News’ “Fox & Friends,” Williams, unprompted, said of Obama’s outing on the links with House Speaker John Boehner: “It’d be like Hitler playing golf with (Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu.”

I, for one, applaude the decision by ESPN.

Comparing the Speaker of the House, John Boehner, to Adolf Hitler was a horrible thing for Williams to do.

Then, comparing Obama to Benjamin Netanyahu? Our Israeli friend deserves better.

Disclosure: I have financially contributed to the Herman Cain campaign.

There’s a minor kerfuffle going on about something that Herman Cain said. It’s widely reported that he said he couldn’t support Rick Perry as the Republican nominee:

[Edited: The previous video no longer allows embedding. So, here is the original excerpt from CNN. The quote begins immediately after the commercial.]

[Direct link]

Yep. That’s what he said. And that bothers me.

You see, I’ve been going on and on about how, no matter who the GOP nominee is, we need to support him. And some of you get your panties all in a wad about that.

“I’m not ever going to support Mitt Romney!”

“I won’t vote for Rick Perry!”

“If Sarah Palin isn’t the nominee, I’m not voting!”

“If Sarah Palin is the nominee, I’m not voting!”

“Ron Paul is nuts!”

Okay, that last one is okay. But still, nuts as he is, he’d a darn sight better than Barack Obama. But some of you are saying you won’t support this guy or that girl. Well, now Herman Cain sounds a lot like some of you people. Maybe he’s pandering to the panties-in-a-wad crowd.

I don’t care for that. I suspect Cain will backtrack, and soon. He’ll come up with some statement that sounds like some crafted statement talking about how we can disagree about important issues, but still have the same overriding goal: defeat Barack Obama and return competence to the White House.

But what should he say? Or, better, what should he have said to Wolf Blitzer’s question, “Could you support Rick Perry if he were the nominee?”

• Against Obama? Of course. Hell, Wolf, I’d support you over Barack Obama.
• I fully support Rick Perry for vice-president.
• I would support Rick Perry if Zombie Reagan turned down the nomination.
• Nine, nine, nine.
• Not if he was the Democrat nominee. Has he switched back to being a Democrat?
• That’s a stupid question, Wolf. What do you think I’m going to say? That I wouldn’t support Rick Perry? Do you think I’m stupid?

What do you think Herman Cain should have said?

Reality is racist. Just so you know.

Recently, the president gave a speech before the Congressional Black Caucus, and, as he is wont to do, he slipped into his “Hey-I’m-Black-Too” dialect. And, the Associated Press reported the actual words he used, as he used them:

Stop complainin’. Stop grumblin’. Stop cryin’.

And, for reporting what happened, the AP was accused of being racist by Karen Hunter on MSNBC:

Hunter called the AP’s version “inherently racist,” sparring with New Republic contributing editor and noted linguistics expert John McWhorter, who argued the g-less version “is actually the correct one,” noting that the president’s victory in the 2008 election was due, in part, to how effortlessly “he can switch into that [black] dialect.”

To follow Hunter’s demands to their conclusion, as Jeff Goldstein put it:

…they are now charged with re-writing history to protect the speaker from himself, lest they be charged with transcribing reality, once considered the most neutral of all activities (at least in intent and aim), an activity that now carries with it the charge of “inherent racism” if the reality being transcribed belongs to blacks, and non-blacks or inauthentic blacks are doing the transcribing.

Presumably, Ms Hunter, if pressed, might have to extend the argument to audio clips that capture the dropping of the g’s — themselves a secondhand recording of reality that have not been “corrected” of their “inherent racism.”

So, now that we know that reality is racist and we must protect ourselves from it, we present the video of the president’s actual words, not as said, but as they must be to remove the charge of racism:

[Direct link]

Liberals have been living outside reality for a long, long time. Now, they want us to live outside it, too.

Whatcha watchin’?

Cartoons.

Why aren’t you watching the news?

This is more real.

I like the news.

…
(more…)

Don’t you hate it when all is said and done, someone says something or does something anyway?

The Troy Davis case is like that. And it’s my turn. Again.

But, honestly, I think Frank has had his fill of this case, unless I read his Twitter posts incorrectly.

And maybe you have too. But, if not, I did post at my little blog.

I think Frank wants more teh funneh here. Let me see if I have anything from 1960s television to entertain you. More about that in a day or two.

Now watch the left get their panties in a wad. Because Sarah Palin polls at 44% in a matchup with Barack Obama. That’s according to a new McClatchy-Marist poll.

What does the new poll mean?

Depends on who you ask.

If you ask me — you did ask me, didn’t you? — it means that almost as many people hate Barack Obama as hate Sarah Palin. Now, I can’t tell you why they hate Sarah Palin. They can’t either. Ask them, and they go, “Palin!!! Arrggghhh!! She’s … (spit) … (slobber) … (mumble) … and Dan Quayle in a skirt!” Or something like that.

They’ve been programmed to hate her. So they do.

What else it means is that the programming isn’t taking. Remember all that “Bush is evil” programming that people were spewing a while back. It’s calmed down among most. Oh, sure, some still blame Bush for the economy, 9/11, and Pearl Harbor. Because stupid people have a way of living way too long and not shutting the hell up. But the “Gosh, I sure miss George Bush” sentiment is growing.

Palin is no Bush, but …

Palin is no George W. Bush, but the “Hate Palin” programming is starting to wear off. Like in Dollhouse, where Echo didn’t respond to imprints and wipes like they expected. Voters are turning Echo.

The poll also means that the left-wing media is about to go all out assailing Sarah Palin as … well, whatever it is they’ve been told to say about her now.

And here’s what it all means: while they’re attacking Palin, they aren’t quite as focused on Perry or Romney or Bachmann or Cain or whoever else is supposed to be in the crosshairs.

And that’s a good thing.

Once again, we must say it. Come on. Say it with me. “Thank you, Sarah Palin.”

(If you’re looking for teh funneh, Frank will be around later.)

Mark MacPhail, murder victim

There’s an execution scheduled in Georgia tonight. Georgia’s certainly no Texas when it comes to meting out final justice, in speed or in volume. Georgia will keep the undertaker from going out of business, though.

Tonight (as of this writing) one more deserving character walks the last mile at the Georgia Diagnostic and Classification Center. His name is Troy Davis, and he’s to die for the murder of a Savannah policeman.

I remember the case, because, in 1989, I was living near Savannah. I grew up in southeast Georgia, and Savannah is where we got most of the news. The Savannah Morning News was the daily paper. When we watched local TV, the closest was Savannah television. And, when we listened to the radio, outside of the local stations (in the same county), almost every other station was a Savannah station.

So, when Troy Davis shot and killed Mark MacPhail, I heard about it. And, when he was tried and convicted in the summer of 1991, I heard about it.

Seems simple, doesn’t it. Young man, high school dropout (did get his GED, though), poor job attendance record, with a criminal record shoots and kills an off-duty policeman who was working security at a fast-food restaurant.

Here’s where it gets … interesting. Davis is black. MacPhail was white.

So, now you have the NAACP, Al Sharpton, and others protesting the upcoming execution. You have PBS talking about the case in a discussion on how race plays a role in death penalty cases. You have the Christian Science Monitor talking about “the impact of race on a jury in the Deep South.”

None of these geniuses bother to consider that, of the 12 members of the jury that convicted Davis, 7 were black. That’s right, a jury that’s 58% black from a city that’s 57% black convicted a black man. And the usual suspects are screaming race discrimination.

Why? Because MacPhail was white. Had be been black, like the other man Davis shot that night (but who survived) you wouldn’t hear about any of this.

So, yes, it’s racial. Only not like they’re making it out to be.

Assuming all goes well, and the state carries out the execution tonight, should we be happy?

Yes.

But not to celebrate a man’s death, though Davis certainly deserves to die. No, we should celebrate that, despite people using race as a battering ram, justice was done. It will have taken entirely too long, but that’s because certain people like to promote their cause, even when it’s without cause.