A Presidency Calculated to Drive You MAD

From MAD Magazine. Yes, that MAD Magazine.

[MAD Magazine]

Tip: Andrew Malcolm on the Facebook

Title reference

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Jude 9-10

PJ Media reports that news outlets in Egypt are showing photos depicting Barack Obama as Satan. The Al Wafd articles reports that the image is making the rounds on Facebook, and describes the photo, although it incorrectly identifies the pentagram as the Star of David. Stupid Arabs.


They should be careful. With the stable of lawyers Satan has with him in hell, they are in danger of being sued for defamation.

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ObamaMathHarvey noticed that the national debt hasn’t changed for several months. He suggests that the Most Transparent Government Evah, run by the Smertest President Evah, has simply stopped doing math.

With all due respect, I suggest that Harvey is missing all the nuances of this Genius of Geniuses. It’s not an abandonment of math. It’s a whole new math. It’s the magical math that is ObamaMath.

Here’s how it works.

As Harvey noted, you take a total deficit of $16,699,396,000,000. Next, you increase that by $97,594,000,000. What is the new total deficit? I best you said $16,796,990,000,000. But, guess what? You’d be wrong. It’s $16,699,396,000,000.

How is that possible? ObamaMath!

That’s the same way you can have health insurance costs go up, but still be paying less. Sure, you bank account looks smaller, your take-home pay looks smaller. But that’s because you don’t apply ObamaMath.

A smaller bank balance is actually a raise in pay. And you can thank Obama for that. Well, Obama and his wonderful, magical ObamaMath.

Gas gone up to nearly twice what it was when Obama took office? Well, not really. It’s actually less. That’s because $1.869 ÷ 2 = $3.539. ObamaMath!

And, here’s a secret that many people don’t know: you too can use ObamaMath.

Walk into a grocery store, fill your shopping cart with food, give the clerk a dollar, and walk out. It’ll be okay. Just explain it’s ObamaMath.

Bank send you a credit card bill? Send them a corrected statement back, showing a $0 balance. Explain it’s ObamaMath.

There is no end to what you can accomplish with ObamaMath.

Try it!

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Our POTUS, Who Art In Washington…

[Source: YouTube]

Barack O–, Barack Obama, thank you for doing everything and all the kind stuff. Thank you for all the stuff that you helped us with. Thank you for taking the courage and responsibility for everything you have done for us. And God has gave you an special power. And you, and you are going to handle it gr–, just fine. You are good, Barack Obama. You are great and– and when you get older you will be able to do great things. Love, Steven. Barack Obama!!”

What was it Linda Creed wrote? “I believe that the children are the future?”

We’re screwed.

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HomerBrainWhat comes to mind when someone says “gulf?”

I remember Gulf Oil company sponsoring TV broadcasts of space shots in the 1960s. There’s the Gulf of Mexico. Persian Gulf.

So, besides a defunct oil company, “gulf” generally means a place where the sea extends into the land. But, it can have another meaning: a deep chasm, or a gap.

On The Tonight Show With Jay Leno the other night, the president showed just how big of a dumbass he is:

If we don’t deepen our ports all along the Gulf — places like Charleston, South Carolina, or Savannah, Georgia, or Jacksonville, Florida — if we don’t do that, those ships are going to go someplace else. And we’ll lose jobs. Businesses won’t locate here.

I’ve been those cities. And, I’ve been to the Gulf coast. But never at the same time.

I’d like to think I don’t have to tell you that Jacksonville, Savannah, and Charleston are not cities on the Gulf. But, nobody seemed to tell The Smertest President Evah that those cities are on the Atlantic Ocean.

So, what comes to mind when someone says “gulf?”

The right answer is: A deep chasm, or a gap. As in the deep chasm in the head of Obama, and the ones that voted for him.

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Cartoon of the Day – Winning

[Source: Michael Ramirez – Investors.com]

It’s all about winning. It’s not about doing what is right. It’s not about what is doing what is best for the country. It’s about winning. And the other side losing.

Any questions?

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Cartoon of the Day – Addict

[Source: Michael Ramirez – GoComics]

I have a friend who says liberalism is a disease. He’s not wrong.

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You’re so vain, you probably think the civil rights movement was about you

Remember when Neil Armstrong died, and Barack Obama honored the astronaut with … a picture of Obama looking at the moon?

Well, Saturday was Rosa Parks day, so what does the president do? Honors Rosa Parks with … a picture of Obama sitting on the bus, looking out the window.

Civil rights doesn’t mean this:

It means this:

It’s all about Obama.

Now, I’m not wanting to get off track and have a discussion about why Rosa Parks got all the attention and not the others who preceded here by being arrested for refusing to give up their seats. If you want some info about that, this link mentions a couple of instances.

Rather, I want to stay on target with Obama making everything about him.

I’m not sure if that’s the problem, or if the idiots that support him are the problem. A little of both actually.

Speaking of the Rosa Parks debate (which I didn’t want to get into), if they ever remake Barbershop, I’d like to see them change the script around just a little. Replace “Jesse Jackson” with “Barack Obama” (NSFW link).

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Obama sticker of the day

Saw this one in Valdosta yesterday.

My son just had to get a picture, and I just had to share.

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Job training

Sunday night, the president flew to Florida for a Monday campaign appearance. Then, he flew back to Washington and Bill Clinton took his place at the campaign event.

The question that some asked was why would Obama make the trip to Florida in the first place. Well, lost in the story is the fact that he did appear at a campaign office:

Yesterday, as he delivered pizzas to campaign workers in Orlando, Florida, Obama said he realized that the storm would impede his ability to make the final push for a second term in person.

See? He delivered pizzas.

That skill could come in real handy come January 21st.

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You pick the losers

Photo: C-SPAN
“…You don’t just the pick the winners and losers – you pick the losers.” — Mitt Romney to Barack Obama, October 3, 2012

Photo: NBC/The Tonight Show
“I’ve spent a lot of time in Detroit … so in this particular World Series, I might be a little partial.” — Barack Obama to Jay Leno, October 24, 2012

Photo: Fox Sports/MLB
San Francisco completes sweep of Detroit, October 28, 2012

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Top of the charts

Bush, Bush bo Bush, banana fanna fo Bush
Fee fi mo Bush, Bush!

Come on everybody!
I say now let’s play a game
I betcha I can make a blame out of anybody’s name.
The first four years, I treat it like it was not there
But a lot of silly reasons and excuses will appear
And then I say “No I wasn’t to blame,” and banana fanna blame a foe
And then I say that name and I make it very plain
And a fee fie on a foe
And then I say the name again and now you know my game
And there isn’t any name that I can’t blame

Clinton, Clinton bo Clinton, banana fanna fo Clinton
Fee fi mo Clinton, Clinton!

But if the first two years are ever brought up,
I drop my voice and say the name like
Bush, he killed the economy,
Clinton, she let the Ambassador die,
Osama, I killed him with my bare hands.
The media ignores anything that is contrary.

Everybody do Bush!

Bush, Bush, bo Bush, banana fanna fo Bush
Fee fi mo Bush, Bush!

Pretty good, let’s do the rich!

Rich, rich, bo rich, banana fanna fo rich
Fee fi mo rich, rich!

Very good, let’s do Wall Street!

Wall Street, Wall Street, bo Wall Street, banana fanna fo Wall Street
Fee fi mo Wall Street, Wall Street!

A little trick with YouTube!

YouTube, YouTube, bo YouTube, banana fanna fo YouTube
Fee fi mo YouTube, YouTube!

The blame game…

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Best of the Statlers

I don’t know how many of you know who the Statler Brothers are, but, they were mentioned a couple of times in comments to a post I had here yesterday.

For those that don’t know, they are one of the biggest country music acts of all time. Or were. “America’s Poets” called it quits in 2002. But, along the way, they had some songs that even people who don’t like country music (like me) might know.

In the comments to a post I wrote yesterday, Burmashave and Keln both thought about the Statler’s song, Flowers On The Wall — the group’s first hit.

That got me to thinking, though. Having worked in radio back in the 1970s, including at a country music station, I am very familiar with the Statlers. So, if there’s anything the Statlers did that could make me think of Obama, it’s not one of their songs. Not really. It’s a group of them.

You see, the Statlers had an alter-ego band: Lester “Roadhog” Moran And His Cadillac Cowboys. It was part of a comedy act they came up with for a bit on an album they did. Lester and the Boys, bless their hearts, were a no-talent band that had no idea just how bad they were. They had no business trying to make music.

And that’s what I think of when I think of Obama. He’s got no talent, no ability, and he thinks he’s doing a great job.

The Statler Brothers and their studio musicians, according to an interview I heard them do, had to try extremely hard to play that bad.

Obama? He doesn’t have to work hard to do a bad job. Just comes natural for him.

UPDATE (from Harvey):

Here’s Les & the Boys. Freakin’ hilarious(ly awful):

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,637)

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Foreign policy

The conventional wisdom is that Obama has the edge in tonight’s debate. No, not because a liberal “news” person is moderating it, but because foreign policy, the topic of the debate, is supposed to be Obama’s strength.

I suppose it’s because he personally killed Bin Laden with his bare hands.

But, I see an advantage for Obama for another reason: Who knows more about foreign things than a foreigner?

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What’s on the iPod?

I have one of those little iPod Shuffle thingies. It’s a small thing I can wear. Fits under a tie nicely. The headphones — I think they call them earbuds — work great for me. And, the music I hear helps me through the day.

What’s on it? Classical music. There are a couple of collections — The World’s Most Relaxing Classical Music Selections, 50 Essential Pieces of Classical Music — as well as all nine of Beethoven’s symphonies. It’s what I want to hear. Sometimes, it’s what I need to hear.

I wonder, though: what do others listen to?

For instance, what’s on Barack Obama’s iPod? Or Joe Biden’s? Or Paul Ryan’s? Or Mitt Romney’s?

I doubt Obama is listening to a playback of his first debate with Romney. Or his second, for that matter. I wonder what music he listens to. I imagine that in late January, he’ll have The Silhouettes’ Get A Job playing. But what about now?

What do you think? What’s on Obama’s iPod? Or what’s on the iPod of some of the others?

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