Posts Tagged ‘Obama’

Best of the Statlers

Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:00 am

I don’t know how many of you know who the Statler Brothers are, but, they were mentioned a couple of times in comments to a post I had here yesterday.

For those that don’t know, they are one of the biggest country music acts of all time. Or were. “America’s Poets” called it quits in 2002. But, along the way, they had some songs that even people who don’t like country music (like me) might know.

In the comments to a post I wrote yesterday, Burmashave and Keln both thought about the Statler’s song, Flowers On The Wall — the group’s first hit.

That got me to thinking, though. Having worked in radio back in the 1970s, including at a country music station, I am very familiar with the Statlers. So, if there’s anything the Statlers did that could make me think of Obama, it’s not one of their songs. Not really. It’s a group of them.

You see, the Statlers had an alter-ego band: Lester “Roadhog” Moran And His Cadillac Cowboys. It was part of a comedy act they came up with for a bit on an album they did. Lester and the Boys, bless their hearts, were a no-talent band that had no idea just how bad they were. They had no business trying to make music.

And that’s what I think of when I think of Obama. He’s got no talent, no ability, and he thinks he’s doing a great job.

The Statler Brothers and their studio musicians, according to an interview I heard them do, had to try extremely hard to play that bad.

Obama? He doesn’t have to work hard to do a bad job. Just comes natural for him.

UPDATE (from Harvey):

Here’s Les & the Boys. Freakin’ hilarious(ly awful):


[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #1,637)

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Foreign policy

Monday, October 22, 2012 11:00 am

The conventional wisdom is that Obama has the edge in tonight’s debate. No, not because a liberal “news” person is moderating it, but because foreign policy, the topic of the debate, is supposed to be Obama’s strength.

I suppose it’s because he personally killed Bin Laden with his bare hands.

But, I see an advantage for Obama for another reason: Who knows more about foreign things than a foreigner?

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What’s on the iPod?

Monday, October 22, 2012 9:00 am

I have one of those little iPod Shuffle thingies. It’s a small thing I can wear. Fits under a tie nicely. The headphones — I think they call them earbuds — work great for me. And, the music I hear helps me through the day.

What’s on it? Classical music. There are a couple of collections — The World’s Most Relaxing Classical Music Selections, 50 Essential Pieces of Classical Music — as well as all nine of Beethoven’s symphonies. It’s what I want to hear. Sometimes, it’s what I need to hear.

I wonder, though: what do others listen to?

For instance, what’s on Barack Obama’s iPod? Or Joe Biden’s? Or Paul Ryan’s? Or Mitt Romney’s?

I doubt Obama is listening to a playback of his first debate with Romney. Or his second, for that matter. I wonder what music he listens to. I imagine that in late January, he’ll have The Silhouettes’ Get A Job playing. But what about now?

What do you think? What’s on Obama’s iPod? Or what’s on the iPod of some of the others?

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Michelle Obama’s example

Tuesday, October 9, 2012 8:58 am

Michelle Obama tells ABC she “rarely” goes to the West Wing of the White House.

Now, if we could only get Barack to follow suit.

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Yippee kay yay, Obama Voter!

Thursday, October 4, 2012 7:00 am

yippee-Kay-yayDid something last night I haven’t done in a long, long time. I watched a presidential debate.

Okay, they haven’t had one in four years, but still.

I really didn’t plan on watching. I made my mind up a long time ago on this one: I will vote for the person who isn’t named Barack Obama.

So, why did I watch the debate? Wife wanted to. So, we watched the debate. Or I did. She gave it up about 30 minutes in. She doesn’t like one-sided contests unless the winning side goes by the nickname “Crimson Tide,” so she figured out the final score and called it a night. I stuck it out.

Why? I was already into it, and my team was winning. It was nice to see. From what I can tell, though, the debate seemed to change a lot of people’s minds. That’s scary. That means someone old enough to vote has lived through the last four years of Obama in the White House and six years of Democrats controlling the Senate and still thought Obama, or any Democrat, might be a viable option. I don’t get it.

But, Romney did a good job. He showed how you can politely call the president a liar and not be called a racist. Romney is pretty good at this politics thing. Heck, even though he’s a Republican, he could get votes from people in Massachusetts. Maybe even enough to be governor there. I kid!

Was it just Romney, though? Did Obama contribute to his debate loss?

No.

Obama was weak, ineffectual, and apologetic, getting all kind of numbers wrong and stuttering himself into a corner. In other words, he was Obama. That’s what his presidency has been like, and what the debate was like. So, I don’t think you can blame Obama for being Obama.

Even though I went in (and came away) with my mind made up, I did learn something. Obama gave me $3600. At least, he said he did. I still can’t find mine. Maybe Solyndra has it.

Speaking of Solyndra, I loved that line from Romney that went something like this: “You don’t pick the winners and the losers; you pick the losers.”

Obama took to blaming Bush. Essentially, he said “I inherited a dire situation. And made it worse.” Though, I really don’t think that was his intent. To say it out loud, I mean. He’s done everything he wanted to do, he just doesn’t want us to know. But we do.

Oh, and after throwing his grandmother under the bus in the 2008 campaign, Obama dragged her back out and used her as an example of someone needing Medicare. I suppose since she’s dead, Medicare doesn’t need that $700-million he’s cutting from it, so it’s all good.

The debate wasn’t close. Frank J. will have some interesting things to say about it, I’m certain. I’m still waiting to see how the Obama campaign handles the fallout of the debate. Maybe he’ll say he inherited the debate from Bush. Romney ran circles around Obama, thwarting his every move. The only thing missing was Mitt saying “Yippee kay yay, m*****f*****.”

Okay, that’s a little crude. But I think I’ll follow Terry_Jim’s suggestion and tell all the Obama supporters I see “Yippee kay yay, Obama Voter.”

To tell the truth, I did feel a little sorry for Obama about one thing: the debate was on his 20th wedding anniversary. What terrible timing to suffer Electile Dysfunction.

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Name that flag!

Saturday, September 22, 2012 7:00 am

You’ve seen that flag Obama is selling, right?

Yesterday, Frank J. was wondering how the pledge of allegiance to that flag might go.

I kinda wonder something else. My country’s flag has some nicknames, such as “Old Glory,” “The Stars and Stripes,” and “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

Obama’s flag? I’m not sure what to call it. An Obama-nation fits, but that’s been used before.

Suggestions?

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Barack Obama, movie star

Friday, September 14, 2012 7:00 am

Barack Obama needs a job. You see, he’s never had a real job. Oh, sure, he’s had made-up jobs like “community organizer” but he’s never done anything that’s real or useful. Yeah, he was a state legislator, but all they have to do is say “yes” or “no” when bills come up for a vote, but he couldn’t even get that correct. He voted “present” a lot.

Now, he’s in the most important job in the world, and is doing like you’d expect: he sucks at it. He has no idea what he’s doing, and the only time he’s not screwing things up is when he’s actually taking a vacation and playing golf.

You may be wondering why he never got a job playing golf for a living, but there’s a real good reason: he’s so bad at it that he’d starve. We’d have another homeless Obama running around, and goodness knows there are enough of them scattered all across the globe. So he plays golf for fun. I can only assume he plays president for fun, too. I mean, if he hated it because he sucked at it so bad, there are a lot of people who would gladly do the job … and do it better.

Of course, his doing a piss-poor job as president won’t last forever. He’ll be needing a new job come late January. Whatever will he do?

I’m thinking he’s planning to go into show business, become a movie star. He’s already hanging around the Hollywood crowd, and I think part of he reason is to get into the movies. Plus, movie people don’t really do anything useful. They’re good for a laugh, and when their job makes you cry, it’s not over anything real. So, perfect for Obama.

What kind of role could he play? Well, if they ever do a remake of D. W. Griffith’s Birth of a Nation, he could play the role of an 1871 South Carolina Reconstruction legislator.

20120914-121032.jpg 20120914-121046.jpg

Maybe, though, that’s not the best decision. Perhaps you can help. What would be a good movie role for Obama?

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Have you no shame, Mr. Romney?

Thursday, September 13, 2012 9:00 am

Mr. Romney, have you no shame?

How dare you point out the incompetence and failed leadership of former foreign aid student Barack Obama?

What’s next? Are you going to say that just because he skipped all the intelligence briefings for the last week, he wasn’t prepared for the attacks on our embassies?

The president was correct to condemn your statements hours before he condemned the terrorist attacks.

The biggest threat to America isn’t people trying to kill Americans, or even people who actually rape and murder our ambassadors. It’s people who say that an incompetent president is incompetent.

Whew!

Wow. It’s hard work trying to think like a Democrat. There’s no way I could do that full time.

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Obama’s to-do list

Wednesday, September 12, 2012 8:30 am

You gotta wonder what Obama’s to-do list — his real one, not that silly list of campaign promises — looks like. If his campaign promises such as changing the tone in Washington were truly the list, even he’d have to give himself a failing grade.

But no, the president gave himself an “incomplete” grade. That means he’s done some stuff, but the rest is in reach.

Whatever could those things be? Well, I’m thinking his goal is to out-do Jimmy Carter on everything. Let’s see how he’s doing, shall we?

  • Drive gas prices up. Check.
  • High unemployment. Check.
  • Support ill-advised Islamic overthrow of a friendly Middle Eastern nation. Check.
  • Have embassy in that country stormed later same year. Check.
  • Attacked by a rabbit. Not yet.
  • Lose election to Republican former governor of a liberal state. Not yet.

I’m not wishing a bunny attack on the president, but if it did happen, I would laugh my ass off.

That last item? I am wishing that upon him. And I’m doing what I can to make it happen.

Now, I know some of you don’t like the idea of voting for Mitt Romney. Those of you that have sworn to never vote for Romney, and plan to follow through, well, if you’d help take care of the rabbit thing, the rest of us will work on the election thing.

Then we can mark Obama’s to-do list complete and send him home to … wherever the hell he’s from.

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Cartoon of the Day

Wednesday, September 5, 2012 12:30 pm

20120905-122635.jpg
[Direct link]

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Anniversary, Obama-style

Friday, August 31, 2012 5:32 pm

Missed in this whole thing where Obama had to change his plans because of a trip Mitt Romney made is this tidbit:

The president was en route Friday to Fort Bliss, Texas, where he planned to meet with military service members and their families on the two-year anniverary of his visit there to mark the end of the war in Iraq.

So, he’s planning a trip to mark the anniversary of a trip?

Not that he’s marking the anniversary of the declared end to the war. That was in October 2009. No, this is a trip marking the anniversary of a trip.

If only I could write parody that was as ridiculous as Obama’s reality.

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Still overpriced

Friday, August 31, 2012 10:02 am

The Dekalb County Georgia Democrats are giving away tickets to see Obama’s acceptance speech to bar patrons in Atlanta.

You got to get to Manuel’s Tavern, 602 North Highland Avenue Northeast in Atlanta by noon, so hurry.

So, to summarize: they have to give away tickets to hear Obama speak, and you gotta be drunk to accept them?

That actually makes sense. Maybe things will be okay after all.

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Why you so stupid?

Friday, August 31, 2012 7:17 am

All you people that don’t think Barack Obama is awesome and wonderful and a gift sent down from Heaven are just too stupid to understand what he’s trying to do.

You know, as good a communicator as he is, it would still take Barack Obama six months to explain something to you. That’s what he told Time magazine.

The president says he also wants to do a better job of explaining to the public how his policies will help the economy grow. Obama claims he didn’t do a good enough job selling Americans on the stimulus plan and the auto company bailout because he was so focused on acting to fix the economy.

“[W]e were in the midst of a once-in-a-lifetime crisis, so we had to just do stuff fast. And sometimes it wasn’t popular,” Obama told Time. “And we didn’t have the luxury of six months to explain exactly what we were doing with the Recovery Act, which was basically a jobs act and making-sure-middle-class-families-didn’t-fall-into-poverty act.”

So, it’s your fault. If you weren’t so darn stupid, it wouldn’t take him six months to explain everything to you.

And, if you were just smart enough to understand what he was doing, it would have worked. So, but because you’re so stupid and didn’t understand what he was doing, all that money he pissed away didn’t help.

Try to not be so stupid.

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Worst is yet to come

Wednesday, August 29, 2012 10:30 pm
Another bad idea

Licking a flag pole in Winter is smarter than voting for Obama.

Presidents’ second terms are usually not as good as the first. Obama’s 2nd term will be teh suck.

Why would I say that? I mean, there’s no way he could suck as bad in his second term as he did in his first, right?

WRONG!!!

Let’s look at history. Okay, who’s the oldest person here?

Okay, everybody put your hands down. Is there anyone here born before 1950? 1940? Oh, heck, 1900? No one?

That’s our starting point. We’ll cover all the presidents who won re-election all our lifetimes, m’kay?

Let’s see. 1900. That was William McKinley, and he was re-elected in 1900. He got shot. That sucks.

Teddy Roosevelt finished McKinley’s term, then got elected again in 1904. That’s when he proposed income taxes (this was before the 16th Amendment, remember) and inheritance taxes, both of which passed shortly after he left office, along with the creation of the Federal Reserve. Tell me that second term didn’t suck.

Woodrow Wilson was re-elected in 1914 1916. His second term included World War I and the League of Nations, forerunner to the United Nations. He implemented segregation laws in Washington (for segregation, not against). Oh, and then the whole having a stroke thing happened. That second term sucked.

Franklin Roosevelt was re-elected in 1936, and never would leave office. He finally had to go to Warm Springs, Georgia and die to get him out of the Oval Office. He made government really, really huge. He extended the Great Depression by screwing with the economy, instead of leaving it alone and letting it right itself in 18 months like it would have. World War II started in his second term, which sucked. Of course, it took his attention off screwing with the economy and expanding government, and the economy suddenly got better, but a lot of soldiers died. So, his second and third terms sucked. He died in his fourth. Which sucked.

Harry Truman, so full of promise after nuking his way to victory in World War II, won in 1948 and, within two years, we were in another war. Plus, he fired MacArthur. Truman let Commies in the government, but you can almost excuse that, since there’s not a hill of beans difference between a Commie and a Democrat. Oh, and a couple of Puerto Ricans shot at him. That sucked.

Dwight Eisenhower was re-elected in 1956 and then had heart attacks about every third day. The Soviets orbited satellites while ours blew up on the launch pad. And, Hawaii became a state, allowing their fake birth certificates to be used to put idiots in the White House. Then, there was the whole deal with taking over from the French in a little place called Vietnam. You might have heard of that. His second term sucked.

Lyndon Johnson got to keep his office job at 1600 Pennsylvania after winning the 1964 election. Remember that Vietnam thing Eisenhower got us into? Johnson doubled down. Hippies were running wild in the streets and left-wingers were blowing up college buildings and shooting people. They waited until after he left office to land on the moon, his second term sucked so bad.

Nixon was re-elected in 1972. Watergate. I don’t need to go any further, do I? His second term sucked.

Ronald Reagan’s second term had Iran-Contra, which led to a bunch of folks going to jail. He failed to get Robert Bork on the Supreme Court, and we wound up with Anthony Kennedy instead. And, a Space Shuttle blew up. Reagan’s second term kinda sucked.

Bill Clinton was re-elected in 1996. He was impeached in his second term. That kinda sucked.

George W. Bush was re-elected in 2004. A year later, somebody in Georgia (not ours, the other one) threw a grenade at him. He didn’t tell the military to kick everyone’s ass and come home in his first term, and that lead to the Democrats taking over Congress in 2006. That sucked big time.

Now, you’re wondering why I left out Calvin Coolidge. Well, it turns out that Calvin Coolidge is the anomaly of this group. He kept the presidency by winning the 1924 election, and then cut taxes, reduced regulation, and the economy flourished. He’s the only president to do a great job in his second term.

So, what would happen if Barack Obama won a second term? Well, you can be damn sure he won’t cut taxes and reduce regulation, and that the economy won’t flourish.

You think his first term was bad? If even good presidents like Reagan, Bush, Truman, and Eisenhower can screw up their second term, what do you think a born screw-up like Barack Obama will do?

Don’t even want to think about it.

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The smartest thing Barack Obama ever said

Wednesday, August 29, 2012 5:09 pm

 

 

 

 

 

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Cartoon of the Day

Friday, August 24, 2012 12:32 pm

Not exactly original, but exactly on target.


[Direct link]

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Cartoon of the day

Thursday, August 23, 2012 7:10 pm

Saw this somewhere. On the Facebook, I think.

Cartoon
[Direct link: Facebook/The Comical Conservative]

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Caption this!

Friday, August 3, 2012 7:25 pm

My buddy, Mad Max, so wants to caption this picture of the president. So, I thought I’d offer him the opportunity. But, I decided to make it a challenge by opening it up to everyone here.

Caption this!
[From Drudge Report]

Keep it clean. Mostly clean, at least. And the best caption wins … HIGH PRAISE!

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Last of the “Obama Ate A Dog” jokes

Monday, April 30, 2012 8:02 am

It’s time for the “Obama Ate A Dog” jokes to end.

Not because the jokes aren’t funny. Some are.

Not because he didn’t eat a dog. He did.

But because now Obama is telling them:

[Direct link]

Obama doesn’t do something unless it’s way too late or it was a bad idea to start with.

Well, there is the whole Leon Panetta and Hillary Clinton make it happen over Valerie Jarrett’s objections, but this doesn’t fall into that category.

No, this is definitely Obama deciding to tell an “Obama Ate A Dog” joke. Which means it’s time for them to end.

Soon.

So, here’s your last chance. Share your favorite “Obama Are A Dog” joke.

[Click for more "Obama Ate A Dog" humor]

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There’s a reason, and it’s not what you think

Wednesday, December 28, 2011 5:47 am

It’s no secret that I think Barack Obama is an idiot. And that I think that those that voted for Obama are idiots. But, during certain times of the year, I try to put that kind of stuff aside and do the whole “can’t we all play nice” kind of thing.

For example, Frank usually posts stuff about holidays here. Over at my little blog, I’ve posted proclamations by the current president regarding Thanksgiving (2009) and Veterans Day (2009, 2010).

Why not Veterans Day proclamation post? Simple. The current president didn’t issue any such proclamation this year. Check for yourself. Find one for Thanksgiving, too.

Oh, and find one for Christmas. Not just for this year, but for any of the three Christmases since he occupied the Oval Office. They don’t exist. The last Presidential Proclamation regarding Christmas came from President George W. Bush in 2008.

Now, you will find a proclamation on Hanukkah for this year. But you won’t find one for last year. I suppose after this year’s missteps regarding Israel, he did this, hoping to mend fences. But, Obama being Obama, he screwed it up. Though the proclamation got the dates right, the actual ceremony was 12 days off– and all jacked up.

He did issue a statement on Kwanzaa this year, as well as in 2010 and 2009. Maybe if Kwanzaa was more than 45 years old, he’d issue a proclamation. Till then, made-up holidays got to take what they can get, I suppose.

Anyway, about Obama. There’s no hope for this guy. And, if you are planning on voting for him in 2012, there’s no hope for you. And, if he wins, there’s no hope for any of us.

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