It seems like everyone is impacted by Obamacare. Frank and Sarah lost the plan they had. My 2nd ex- lost her coverage. My rates have increased.

You hear these horror stories all the time.

But, something has to balance out, right? If one thing goes up, something else comes down. Which means that someone must be benefitting from Obamacare.

CNN found out who. Sex workers.


Seems that Hollywood types are the only thing whoring themselves out for Obamacare.

Even so, the plans would still be more expensive. But, for some reason, they qualify for subsidies, meaning it does cost them less.

Who pays for the subsidy? Taxpayers.

So, next time you see a sex worker, go ahead and ask for your piece of the pie. So to speak.

Send to Kindle

AARP, Obamacare, and karma

Remember when Obamacare was being considered by the Congress? And AARP was supporting it? And all the supporters said how much it would make everything better and how it would get prices under control and it would be just so awesome?

Well, now AARP has sent information to its employees saying that their insurance was going up … because of Obamacare:

In an e-mail to employees, AARP says health care premiums will increase by 8 percent to 13 percent next year because of rapidly rising medical costs.

And AARP adds that it’s changing copayments and deductibles to avoid a 40 percent tax on high-cost health plans that takes effect in 2018 under the law. … Shifting costs to employees lowers the value of a health care plan and acts like an escape hatch from the tax.

To be honest, I don’t mind those that supported Obamacare getting bit in the ass by Obamacare — they are such big asses, after all.

I like laughing at stupid people. It’s fun.

Oh, and AARP? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Send to Kindle

Cuban health care, coming soon to a doctor near you

Liberals should be proud.

Thanks to them, you won’t have to go to Cuba to get Cuban health insurance. You’ll be able to get that in the USA.

Fidel Castro praised the recent passage of Obamacare:

Cuban revolutionary leader Fidel Castro on Thursday declared passage of American health care reform “a miracle” and a major victory for Obama’s presidency, but couldn’t help chide the United States for taking so long to enact what communist Cuba achieved decades ago.

“We consider health reform to have been an important battle and a success of his (Obama’s) government,” Castro wrote in an essay published in state media

If you voted for Obama, this is what you voted for.

Don’t tell me “Oh, no, Cuban health care isn’t what I had in mind.” Because I told you so. Dumbass.

And the worst of it? Some people will be saying that being like Cuba is a good thing. Dumbasses.

In the 2008 election, 67% of the Hispanic vote went to Obama.

How’s that workin’ out for ya?

Send to Kindle

Damage control

Mr. President, we need to schedule another interview.

What do you mean, Rahm? I was just on Fox News.

Honestly, that didn’t go to well. We need another to do damage control.

Yeah, that Brent fellow wouldn’t let me talk. He kept asking questions, and, here’s the worst of it … wanting answers!

His name’s Bret. But, don’t get upset. It’ll be okay. I’m sorry it went bad for you. But, we had to do it, because of Fox’s ratings.

I’ll do another interview. Get me on Larry King or with Chris Matthews. Someone.

Sir, the rating aren’t good for CNN, MSNBC, or, quite honestly, any news channel other than Fox.


No, we need to shore up your base.

That’s why I suggested al-Jazeera.

I’m afraid that won’t do. But don’t worry, sir, I’ll find an interview show that’s not on Fox, that will have better ratings than CNN or MSNBC.

Great! Who do you have in mind?

Greetings, citizens!

Send to Kindle

Pick the SNL sketch

Here’s a quiz:

Which one of these videos is a sketch from Saturday Night Live, and which is a video of a real-life event?

Video number one:

[Direct link]

Video number two:

[Direct link]

Could you tell?

Both are funny, but for different reasons.

One is an Academy Award-winning actor playing a dumbass who has no concept of numbers. The other is a United States president actually being a dumbass who has no concept of numbers, saying that insurance rates would go down 3-thousand percent under his plan.

Comedy writers could imagine the first. No one could imagine the second. Except it’s real. Sadly, sadly real.

But it does help explain why I’ve been saying that everyone who voted for Obama is a dumbass.

Send to Kindle

Nancy’s got a secret

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA-8) says she wants the health care bill passed so we can see what’s in it.

[Direct link]
Tip: Don Surber

Yes, she actually said:

But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it

[Full transcript]

Why can’t she tell us? Because she doesn’t know? Because she hasn’t read it?

Well, there’s something in it. At around 2,074 pages — remember, they’re going to vote on the Senate bill — there has to be lots of stuff.

But what is in the bill that Pelosi is so excited about?

What else might be in there?

Send to Kindle

Good idea? Or a bad idea?

There is a product called PetSpa (tip: Barking Moonbat Early Warning System). And that name pretty much sums it up.

Here it is in action:

[Direct link]

That is so wrong. Yes, I laughed. Out loud. But it’s still wrong.

I’m sure the people that invented this thing were sitting around, thinking this was a good idea. And that poor cat trusted the person that placed it in the PetSpa.

Only, the cat got a rude surprise. And pretty early on figured out it didn’t like what was happening. But there was nothing it could do about it. The makers of the PetSpa, and the owner of the cat, decided it was best.

They’ll try that again on that cat. Only, I suspect that, unless they’ve de-clawed that cat, they next time they try it, the cat with have its on rude surprise.

I wonder if I could use this as an analogy to anything?

Send to Kindle

Government-mandated health care explained so even a liberal can understand it

George Will explains a problem with government-mandated health care in a way that even a liberal can understand:

[Direct link]

Excerpt transcript:

One question: If the government came to you and said, “Professor Krugman, you have a car. We’re going to compel you to buy a more expensive car, but it’s not really more expensive because it’s a better car.” Wouldn’t you tell them to get off your land?

I wish I had thought of that.

Send to Kindle

Relax, it’s an emergency

I am declaring a national emergency over the H1N1 virus. It’s an emergency, so I’m signing it now.

But, I’m going to wait until the next day to announce it. I mean, what’s the hurry?

We must take whatever steps we can to make sure that we have flu shots for everyone!

Except for my kids.

The rates of illness continue to rise rapidly within many communities across the nation, and the potential exists for the pandemic to overburden health care resources in some localities.*

There! Thatc ought to help get that health care bill through the Senate. You owe me one, Harry.

Send to Kindle

Andy Williams and the Health Care Bear

Well, here’s Mr. Williams’ house. I hope I have better luck now than I did all those years ago.

And thank you for coming along, Mr. Hope. The boss says I need to have you with me.

I don’t think I’m the “hope” he was talking about.

I thank you for coming along anyway. Here goes.

Knock! Knock!

Why, if it isn’t Bob Hope and … You! What are you doing here! Oh, don’t tell me. You want a cookie. Well, you’re not going to get one! Not now…

Oh, no, Mr. Williams. I’m not begging for a cookie. The president hired me to ask you for your health care.

My health care? I’m 81 years old! Why would I give up my health care?

The president sent me to ask for it. He wants to take over everyone’s health care. Can the president have your health care, Mr. Williams? Please?

No! Absolutely not.

In fact, you get away from my door right now and don’t ever come back! Not you … not the president … no one is going to take my health care. Not now. Not ever! NEVER!



You know, if enough people do that, the president’s health care plan will need end-of-life counseling.

Send to Kindle

Harold and Kumar weigh in on Obamacare

If Obamacare passes and I have to go to the hospital, I’d have to wait until 2258 to finally see my doctor.*

Dude, if I was a doctor under Obamacare, I’d shoot myself.*

If we’d have had Obamacare when I was younger, today, I would be Todd Bridges.

Send to Kindle

Reasons to let the government run things

The president had it “Town Hall” photo-op today. And he used the opportunity to explain how the government health care plan is a great idea:

[direct link]

Note where he said, “U.P.S. and FedEx are doing just fine. It’s the post office that’s always having problems.

My fears are now allayed: I’m thrilled to hear that government-run health care will be as efficient as the post office. And that’s according to the president.

Your hard-earned money will be collected from your paycheck via taxes, and sent to finance a program that will be run like the post office.

Let me say that I have a brother-in-law that works for the post office. He’s a good guy. And most of the postal workers I’ve met are good people, too. I say that so they won’t … well … go postal on me.

Anyway, the president has convinced me. We need to have government-run health care. And the post office example sold me.

But, there are some of you, I’m sure, that aren’t yet convinced. So, as a loyal American (who doesn’t what to be flagged), I present other reasons to let the government run health care. Here are things that will present excellent examples of how government-run organizations (regardless of the level of government) operate:

  • Amtrak
  • The quality of public schools
  • The NEA funding of porn
  • The DMV
  • Oil for Food
  • Paying farmers to not grow crops
  • Student visas
  • The TSA
  • FEMA
  • The IRS

If these examples don’t show you just how wonderful a government-run health care system will be, I don’t know what will convince you.

Send to Kindle

Six Flags

Hi there! You may know me from the Six Flags amusement parks. But today, I’m here to tell you about the new government flags program. Sounds like fun, huh?

The Obama administration and the Democratic party are looking out for your best interests. And it all begins with health care.

The administration knows what’s best. And the best thing for you is to help push the health care bill through the Congress.

But, you know what? There are swastika-carrying people that are showing up, doing un-American things like asking questions and protesting that representatives are going against the will of the people.

To help us, here’s what you can do: report them!

Yes, simply send an email to flag@whitehouse.gov. It’s that easy! And fun!

If you know someone who opposes health care, whether it’s speaking out against the president’s proposal at the water cooler at work, or writing dissent on a blog, send us an email to flag@whitehouse.gov … and we’ll flag them!

Later, we’ll expand the program to accepting emails to flag people about all kinds of things. When we’re done, we’ll have flags for:

  1. Opposing government health care
  2. Disagreeing with judicial appointments
  3. Protesting tax increases
  4. Speaking out against government takeovers of other industries
  5. Voicing opposition to Obama’s initiatives
  6. Think bad thoughts

Sound like fun? Of course it does! It’s F-U-N! Fun!

At the new Six Flags over America program, you’ll be able to flag all your co-workers, neighbors, family members … anyone who doesn’t support the party line.

Yes, we put the F-U in FUN! Send emails of dissidents to flag@whitehouse.gov

Six Flags over America! More Flags! More fun!

Send to Kindle

Cash For Cadavers


Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!

Bring out your dead!


Bring out your dead!

Here’s one

I’m not dead


Nothing. Where’s my $4,500?

He says he’s not dead.

Yes he is.

He isn’t.

Well, he will be soon.

I’m getting better.

No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment.

I can’t take him. It’s against regulations.

The program is C.O.R.P.S.E. That’s the Cadaver and Older Retired Person System for Exchange. It’s commonly called Cash for Cadavers, but I read the bill. You can take old retired people.

Look, I’m booked up. I’ve got to stop by the Robinsons. They lost nine waiting for the new government health care. Yes, I can take old people, but the already dead get priority.

When will you be back?


I can’t wait till then. Can you help me out.


Sign here


Bring out your dead!

Send to Kindle

Swastikas and symbols like that

Nancy Pelosi has uncovered that Nazis are behind the protests at health care town hall meeting (tip: Wizbang):

[Direct link]

Interviewer: Do you think there’s legitimate grassroot opposition going on here?
Pelosi: “I think they’re Astroturf… You be the judge. “They’re carrying swastikas and symbols like that to a town meeting on healthcare.”

“Symbols like that?” That means it’s not just the Nazis, but other groups that the Democrats feel are just like Nazis.

“Who?” you ask. I’m glad you asked.


Star of David

Walmart vest
Wal-mart workers

New York Yankees hat
Sports fans

Medic Alert

Be a good Democrat. If you see anyone wearing hate symbols like these, report them. They are dangerous.

Send to Kindle