Posts Tagged ‘pork’

Makin’ Bacon out of a Molehill

Wednesday, July 22, 2009 1:28 am

Well, well, well.

It’s seems I got somebody’s goat. Or pig. Or something.

A post I wrote that appeared both on my little blog and at IMAO has garnered the attention of Ace of Spades HQ. Okay, it was the IMAO posting. They’ve never heard of my little blog.

The took extreme exception to my ridiculing the purchase of ham by the government. The government didn’t like people poking fun at them either. The Secretary of Agriculture went so far as to issue a statement that they bought a lot of ham for that price, not just 2 pounds. They said they paid $1.50/lb., which is about twice what you can find it for on sale at your favorite grocery store.

Heck, I thought we did good, poking fun at government spending. I even got a jab in on the Twitter, saying that “In 6 months, Obama has taken government spending from pork to ham.” Some folks didn’t get it, completely unaware that ham is a special cut of pork, missing the backhanded jab.

So, what’s Ace of Spades HQ — good folks, by the way — got to do with all this?

It seems they’ve declared war on IMAO over it. Because I “dared to insult ham and by association all other delicious pork products (including bacon) by questioning its value under current economic recovery programs.”

I understand why they’re targeting IMAO. It’s one of the big fish. My little blog is … well, small. It’s not worth their efforts. They’re targeting the big boys. Like when weasel lawyers go after big companies when some regular guy does something to offend some thin-skinned cry-baby. IMAO is the big blog, so Frank J., Harvey, SarahK, spacemonkey, Right Wing Duck, et al, are now targeted. Over something that I wrote.

Well, let’s set the record straight, shall we?

I was called “a blogger named after an herb.” They are referring to “basil,” pronounced “BAY-sill.” In fact, my name is “Basil,” pronounced “BAZ-il,” a name of Latin origin that means “kingly.”

My love of pork? I would not say that it’s legendary, but I would say it goes back as far as I can remember. I dare say I’ve slopped more hogs than most of the commenters … and bloggers … at Ace of Spades HQ. I’d wager that many of them have never heard of slopping hogs.

Most of them have only been to pig barbeques in just one state, much less in multiple countries, as have I.

How many of them, I wonder, can say that their relatives were known for the pork products they served in their hometown?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Bacon is a regular around here at breakfast. As it should be.

Unless I eat breakfast on the way to work. Then, it’s either bacon or sausage, depending on my mood. And where I eat. If it’s Cracker Barrel, then it’s ham, bacon, and sausage (the Sunrise Sampler®).

And, it’s just not Christmas around the house here without ham sandwiches while we open presents. Ah, the smell of the Christmas ham cooking when morning comes!

Heck, I bet these supposed pig experts don’t even know the words to Peter Percival Patterson’s Pet Pig Porky. I had the album.

However, I will say that I’m not ape-sh*t crazy over pork products. And, I like Spam®, because it’s made of pork shoulder and ham. It tastes great. It’s spam (UCE) that I don’t like. Many pork purists don’t care for Spam®. But they probably don’t like peanut butter and jelly.

So, if the folks at Ace of Spades HQ have a problem with anyone, it’s with me. Not with the good folks at IMAO. Heck, guys, check out the sidebar! I’m listed on the blogroll, not as one of the official bloggers list. I’m merely a guest. Frank J. has been kind enough to allow me to post from time to time. Taking aim at Frank J. is unfair.

If any of the pork posers at Ace of Spades HQ have a problem, it’s with me.

And, if any want to settle this, we can settle it like men. That’s right: Barbeque pork ribs at 20 paces. Warning: I’m from Georgia; I’ll make you squeal like a pig.

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What’s the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?

Sunday, July 19, 2009 6:10 pm

I assume you saw where the government, as part of its economic recovery program, has purchased $1,191,200 of ham. How much ham is that? Two pounds. No, really. (Hat tip: American Thinker and KOSMOSNET)

Don’t get discouraged. If you think all the government does is pay lots of money for ham, you’d be wrong.

They also pay lots of money for cheese. $1,562,568 for mozzarella cheese. (Hat tip: FireAndreaMitchell.com)

Now, to be fair, it doesn’t say exactly how much cheese the government gets for $1,562,568, but I have enough faith in my government to believe that it’s enough to go with $1,191,200 of ham.

Assuming that’s the case, what’s the government going to do with all that ham and cheese?

Feed the world.

Remember, Jesus fed five thousand with five loaves of bread and two fish. Surely, Obama can do better.

There were only about 200-300 million people in the world during Jesus’ lifetime. That’s less than the number of people living in the U.S. today. Shouldn’t be a problem for Obama, should it?

With all that ham (TWO POUNDS … and it’s SLICED!) and cheese (mozzarella, no less) the government bought, world hunger will soon be a thing of the past. And, for the measly price of $2,753,768 it’s a bargain!

Ham and cheese for everybody!

Oh. Except for the Jews.

And the Muslims.

Oh, heck. I think I’ve found the flaw in the plan.

I wonder if there’s any way Obama can blame this on Biden? Or Bush?

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