The perfect birthday present

It’s SarahK’s birthday! Actually, it became her birthday a couple of hours ago (as of when this post is published), but since she lives in MountaineerMusings Time Zone, her birthday comes two hours later than those of us that live in Eastern Time Zone. But, to make up for it, she gets to say “I can do what I want; it’s my birthday!” for two hours longer than us East Coast folk.

Anyway, it’s her special day, and we were wondering what Frank’s getting her for her birthday this year.

Well, he did get her something already: pregnant. I don’t think he had her birthday in mind when that happened, but I could be wrong. I haven’t asked. And ain’t going to. So, as happy as she is with carrying little Princess Buttercup, Frank still owes her a birthday present.

Still, Frank, being a guy, is just liable to slip up and not have a present ready. Yesterday was Sunday, and everyone knows that Boise closes at sundown on Saturday. So, unless he ran by the Jackson’s Foods and got her a coupon for a Blazin’ Burrito, he might be scrambling around today. So perhaps he could use some suggestions.

Some facts that might be helpful…

  • SarahK shares a birthday with Samuel Colt. So anything firearms related would be great.
  • She also shares a birthday with Lizzie Borden, so whatever he picks better be good.
  • She and comedian Jim Norton share a birthday, so whatever it is, it better make her laugh.
  • And, she shares a birthday with Queen guitarist Brian May (the really really smart one in the group), so whatever the present is, it better rock!

If you have suggestions, offer them here. Because there’s nothing Frank likes better than a bunch of people telling him what to do.

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What is Frank thinking?

Wonder what Frank is thinking?

Some of you are saying “He’s not thinking anything.” But you’d be wrong.

Frank is trying to think of the perfect gift for SarahK. Today is her birthday. And woe be unto Frank if he forgets her birthday. Again.

But, he won’t forget. In fact, he got her a new house. But, he came along with it from the old place. So, it’s not really hers. It’s “theirs.” So, as cool as a new house is, as long as Frank has a key to the place, it’s not truly “hers.”

And Frank knows that. Which is why he’s trying to think of the perfect gift for his wife.

A few of his minions (that’s me, you, and all the others who read his blog) have some ideas for the perfect gift. And some of the suggestions are pretty good ones:

  • Subscription to HBO
  • Pink AR-15 (is it still evil if pink) *
  • Pink 1911
  • Robot controlling monkey’s head in a box
  • Diamonds (she is a girl)
  • Fur coat, from baby seals that you clubbed yourself, much more thoughtful then store bought baby seal fur.
  • Book of wise Latina woman wisdom
  • Two men at once — one cooking, the other cleaning *
  • Batteries
  • Any of a list of gun accessories
  • Rafting
  • A nice quiet relaxing day, with no mention on that stupid blog. Just like last year.

Good ideas, all. Well, some of them, anyway.

But, you can never have too many gift suggestions. Ideas?

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