The Day After

You made it under the deadline, right? Got your tax return off? Included payment, if required?

I did. Included the check for $1,230. And included a little message with my stamp.


I wanter if that stamp will earn my an audit. Probably.

Oh, and I meant to post this yesterday, but didn’t. Still fresh in my mind, so I’ll post it today.


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Loaded for Bear RINO

So, Congress has up and passes Obama’s plan. The one where they’ll raise taxes on 77% of Americans.

How did your Congressman vote? Find out here.

Mine voted “no.” Good Congressman.

What about those that voted “yes?” Well, I’m thinking next election, a RINO hunt may be in order.

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Cartoon of the day

[Source: Mike Lester – GoComics]

I know some people — otherwise pretty good people, but with no sense whatsoever when it comes to things like economic reality — that support higher taxes for “the rich.”

Talking with them goes something like this:

Me: So, if someone makes the same amount of money as you, should they pay the same amount of taxes as you?

Them: Of course.

Me: So, what about someone who makes twice as much as you? Should they pay twice as much as you?

Them: Yes, it’s only fair.

Me: What about someone who makes 1,000 as much as you? 1,000 times as much in taxes?

Them: Yes, they should.

They truly have no clue about taxes, and that they just said that higher incomes should get a tax break, not a tax increase. It’s times like those that I wish I had my cluebat with me.

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Everybody is talking taxes. Okay, not everybody. But some of the major Republican candidates are.

Herman Cain has a plan … two actually … to remake the tax code. One is his 999 plan. If you keep reading about 999, though, you’ll see that the long-term plan is to convert to what some call the Fair Tax. 999 involves income, corporate, and sales tax. The Fair Tax is simply a national sales tax.

Now, Rick Perry has come out with his own plan: a 20% flat tax rate for everybody. It’s an income tax, not a sales tax.

Waste of time. And here’s why.

Changing the tax code won’t do any good if the government keeps spending. They want to talk income, when the problem is outgo.

“Captain Smith, the lookout has spotted an ice berg dead ahead!”

“Very good, Mister Murdoch. Have the deck chairs rearranged immediately!”

“Aye, aye, sir.”

If we don’t cut spending, then 999 will become 20-20-20, then 30-30-30, then 50-50-50, and so on. Or, Perry’s flat tax won’t be 20%. It’ll be 40%. Then 60% And so on.

We’ve got to cut spending. But that’s hard. We can’t handle hard. Never have been able to.

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Oh. Well, maybe we were able to do hard things. Maybe we still are. If we only decided to.

But if the whiney tittie babies that are occupying Wall Street, or sitting in the cabinet, or sitting in the Oval Office were around earlier in our nation’s history, things would be different. And not good different.

“Go to the moon? Imperialist! I’ll make a movie about it. Now give me a sandwich. Extra mayo.” — An nameless Hollywood filmmaker.

“You’ve brought us into this war under false pretenses. Germany didn’t attack us. Japan did! And that’s because of our support for Jews! We need to bring our troops home now!” — An unnamed Texas Congressman.

“That’s just like an evil Republican president. Next he’ll be using troops to seize property from people. What? He suspended habias corpus? Somebody needs to take Lincoln out.” — An unnamed Democrat

“Look at those awful Tea Partiers! It’s not safe to visit Boston Harbor any more. I tell you, they’re going to get violent one day!” — An unnamed government worker

The whiners and complainers need to shut the hell up. And we need to make some hard choices. It will be difficult, and hurt at times. But, like exercise, that’s when you know it’s working.

But, until we quit rearranging the deck chairs, we’re going to crash head on into that ice berg. Then, folks won’t be talking about pulling the car out of the ditch; they’ll be trying to get the ship off the bottom of the ocean.

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After the 2008 election, some people who supported Barack Obama told me they were shocked — SHOCKED! — when he actually did some of the things he said he’d do in the campaign.

When I challenged them with, “Didn’t he say he’d do that?” the usual response was, “Well, I didn’t think he would.”

I don’t want to be that guy. But, I’m thinking I may turn out to be that guy.

I’m supporting Herman Cain. The parallel with Barack Obama should be obvious.

No, not the black thing. Cain grew up black, Obama was raised by a bunch of crazy white folk. If elected, Cain would be America’s first black president.

No, what I’m talking about is: 9-9-9.

I like a lot of things about Herman Cain, but I don’t like the 9-9-9 plan.

On the face of it, that seems odd, since that’s all you hear about Cain.

The two biggest things I like about Cain are:

  • He’s a successful businessman, and we need someone in the White House that understands business. Without that, the economy will, well, do what it’s doing today.
  • He’s a conservative. That means that, when situations arise, I’ll more than likely be satisfied with how he handles it.

Those two items are the most important thing about Cain. When compared to the other candidates, he’s strongest on these two qualifications. And that’s enough for me.

But, what I don’t like is the 9-9-9 plan. Or the 9 part. No, that 9. The other one. No, that that one. The other one. Yes, that one. The national sales tax.

Here’s the plan:

  • Business Flat Tax – 9%
    • Gross income less all investments, all purchases from other businesses and all dividends paid to shareholders.
    • Empowerment Zones will offer additional deductions for payroll employed in the zone.
  • Individual Flat Tax – 9%.
    • Gross income less charitable deductions.
    • Empowerment Zones will offer additional deductions for those living and/or working in the zone.
  • National Sales Tax – 9%.
    • This gets the Fair Tax off the sidelines and into the game.

Flat tax rates for business and individuals is a good thing. If you make twice the money, you pay twice the taxes. It’s that national sales tax that I don’t like.

Opening up one more way for the government to get our money? That’s a no-go. You start a new tax, you’ll never get rid of it. It took over 100 years for the government to stop billing you for the Spanish-American War.

The saving grace is, a national sales tax may be unconstitutional. If there will be a tax on everything sold, what about land? If you sell property, does the national sales tax apply? If so, it could run into the same problems brought up in Pollock v. Farmers’ Loan & Trust Co., which ruled that income tax was unconstitutional, and was the impetus for the 16 Amendment to the Constitution. A national sales tax may require another amendment. And I don’t want another amendment; every time somebody touches the Constitution, they screw things up. Well, not every time, but in the last 100 years. We don’t need another 18th Amendment fiasco, for instance.

The thing most people know about Herman Cain, 9-9-9 plan, is just about the only thing I don’t like about his platform. I do want tax reform; I just don’t like the national sales tax portion of that plan.

I still support Cain for president. I hope he wins. But, when it comes time to implement 9-9-9, I hope he fails.

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Hide your kids, hide your husbands, Republicans be rapin’ ev’rybody

Joe Biden wants to raise your taxes so you won’t get raped.

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In 2008, when Flint had 265 sworn officers on their police force, there were 35 murders and 91 rapes in this city. In 2010, when Flint had only 144 police officers, the murder rate climbed to 65 and rapes–just to pick two categories–climbed to 229. In 2011, you now only have 125 shields. God only knows what the numbers will be this year for Flint if we don’t rectify it. And God only knows what that number would have been had we not been able to get a little bit of help to you.

So, if you weren’t raped or murdered this year, thank Joe Biden and Barack Obama.

If you were raped or murdered, blamed the Republicans. In fact, the Republicans are tired of rapists and murders getting all the credit. They have formed a task force to climb into your windows, snatch your people up, and rape them.

How do you defend against it? You need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husbands because the Republicans will be raping everybody.

And they’re all racist. Especially that colored fellow. He’s the most racist of them all.

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Democrat math

Have you seen Obama’s new proposal? Remember that bill he wanted Congress to pass that night he gave the speech. It seems they finally got around to writing it. It calls for “$1.5 trillion in new tax revenue” plus another $1.5 trillion in spending cuts over 10 years.

What cuts?

Well, it cuts $250 billion from Medicare over 10 years. How much did Paul Ryan’s plan — the one where the Democrats showed grandma being thrown off a cliff — cut in the next 10 years? Zero. I guess Obama doesn’t want to wait until 2022 to toss grandma off a cliff. He threw his under the bus, so why not toss yours over a cliff, right?

Oh, yes, there are other savings, too. $330 billion from cuts to Medicaid and farm subsidies, according to the reports.

So, that’s 1/2 trillion dollars. Where does the other $1 trillion come from? The military. Specifically, it would be from money not spent on troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

So, does that mean that if Congress doesn’t pass the bill, he’s going to leave the troops over there? Is Obama kidnapping our military and holding them for ransom?

Because if the troops were coming home anyway, the money saved from bringing them back wouldn’t count as part of the proposal, right?

Here’s how his math works.

Raise taxes $1.5 trillion. Cut Medicare, Medicaid, and farm subsidies a third of that. That equals $3 trillion in savings.

Yeah, I can’t get the numbers to add up either. Or figure out how raising taxes is savings.

Must be another example of where reality is to be ignored in order to follow Dear Leader’s plan. There seems to be a lot of that.

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Economic advice

What can we do for you, Mr. President?

Poll numbers are down, unemployment’s up, and it looks like I’m going to have to go back to Chicago after next year.

You need to give a speech!

Speech! Give a speech!

Hey, that’s a great idea! I haven’t given a speech in — gosh — it seems like days.

Continue reading ‘Economic advice’ »

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The obligatory “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” parody

Every You
Down in You-ville
Liked Tax-Cuts a lot…

But the Wench,
Who was far left of You-ville,
Did NOT!

The Wench hated Tax-Cuts! There would be no pleasin’
The Yous. Don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason.

It could be that her head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that her face was too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that her heart was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason,
Her face or her heart,
She stood with her gavel and said with a start,
“The Yous have their money; they earned it, it’s true,
But I shan’t let any money be controlled by a You!”

“The government knows what is best,” said the Wench,
Ignoring all government programs’ bad stench.
“It’s been nearly ten years since that evil George Bush
Sent Tax-Cuts through Congress with a great big push.”

“They’re set to expire,” the Wench said with delight.
“But the Keynesian gave up with barely a fight.”

And she frowned. The Wench frowned. Yes she frowned. Frowned. Frowned. Frowned.
She frowned and she stomped all around on the ground.

The GOP had won a battle it seemed.
An agreement had been reached with the White House that deemed
That the Tax-Cuts would stay for another two years.
The thought of that brought the Wench so close to tears.

She snarled and she fumed and she said “This won’t stand.
The Yous’ money is mine.” And she needed a plan.

She’s plotting and planning and scheming right now.
She wants to kill all the Tax-Cuts. But how?

Unlike the Grinch of the Seuss tale years ago,
The Wench’s cold heart still refuses to grow.

She wants to kill Tax-Cuts and pillage your wallet.
Remember in 2012 at the ballot!

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How to balance the federal budget without raising taxes

How can Congress possibly balance the federal budget without raising taxes?

It’s easy. Make Congress make up for any shortfall in the budget. Take it out of their pay. Cut Congressional pay (House and Senate) for every dollar the budget is in deficit.

What about the president? Well, if he vetoed the deficit budget, he’s off the hook. If he signed it, he’s liable. Dock his pay, too.

Now, what happens if the deficit is more than the pay of Congress? As is the current situation? Congress is on the hook for the balance. Personally. If Congressman A has twice wealth as Congressman B, he’s responsible for twice as much of the deficit.

When that still doesn’t cover the deficit, spread the debt around to other members of the government, exempting military pay only.

If Congress tries to get around it by raising taxes, count every tax increase as deficit money, and cut Congressional pay accordingly.

I learned a long time ago, that if someone had the solution to a problem, but had no interest in solving the problem, it was because it didn’t personally affect them; it wasn’t their problem.

Make it their problem.

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Obama’s secret plan to balance the budget

Those of us on the right have criticized the president for his using of the current financial situation to further his socialist ideology.

Sure, this whole mess began falling apart after the Democrats took over Congress back in 2006.

And the seeds were planted by Dodd, Frank, Clinton and the other Democrats when they pressured banks to make risky loans.

And George Soros is enjoying the crisis.

And, of course, the president is spending your and my money like a drunken sailor.

And no way to pay for it. Except raising our taxes.

Or so those of us on the right thought.

Turns out, though, that it seems that Obama has a large source of income for the treasury.

“What is it?” you ask.

Simple. He’s going to have all his cabinet pay their taxes. We ought to be able to bail out all his cronies, pay for everything he’s proposing, and still have a budget surplus.

Turns out Obama is a genius after all, huh?

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Solving the financial crisis

I know how to solve the financial crisis in this country.

Hire Rebecca Paul.

No, really.

Okay, for those of you who don’t know who Rebecca Paul is, she started up the Illinois Lottery. Then was hired away by Florida to start up the Florida Lottery. Then Georgia hired her away to start … you guessed it … the Georgia Lottery. Then Tennessee came calling, and hired her to start up the Tennessee Lottery.

She used to be a Republican, then her husband died, and she hooked up with a Democrat in the Tennessee state legislature. So I guess she’s a Democrat now.

Sort of like Theresa Heinz Kerry. Except Rebecca Paul actually did something.

Anyway, hire her away from Tennessee to start up the United States Lottery.

Run it like the lotteries she’s set up in Illinois, Florida, Georgia, and Tennessee. That means that half the money goes into the winner’s pot, 15% is used to run the lottery, and the other 35% goes to the treasury.

And lots of money will go into the lottery. Poor people put big bucks into the lottery all the time. So that’ll mean that Obama won’t need to raise taxes on the rich. Or on plumbers from Ohio.

And conservatives like me will get to watch poor people funding the government.

Sure, babies will go hungry, and crack dealers might find a crimp in their business, but that’s the price of success.

And the best part?

When some poor person wins and becomes a zillionaire, he’ll end up in a higher tax bracket and learn to hate Democrats.

There’ll be more rich Republicans (not rich White Republicans, but we’ve got enough of those already). And the poor Democrats will pay for it.

It’s a win-win situation.

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Explaining the tax system

It’s making the rounds again. The parable that explains the tax system. It’s been credited to several people, mostly professors at UGA or U of South Dakota. But the earliest reference I can find is from 2002, and it credits Moon Griffon:

Suppose everyday, 10 men go to dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If it were paid the way we pay our taxes, the first four men would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1; the sixth would pay $3; the seventh $7; the eighth $12; the ninth $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

The 10 men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until the owner threw them a curve. “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20.” Now dinner for the 10 only costs $80.

The first four are unaffected. They still eat for free. Can you figure out how to divvy up the $20 savings among the remaining six so that everyone gets his fair share? The men realize that $20 divided by 6 is $3.33, but if they subtract that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man the sixth man would end up being paid to eat their meal.

The restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in $2, the seventh paid $5, the eighth paid $9, the ninth paid $12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of $52 instead of $59. Outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got a dollar out of the $20,” declared the sixth man pointing to the tenth, “and he got $7!” “Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got seven times more than me!” “That’s true,” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $7 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks.” “Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor.”

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn’t show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They were $52 short!

And that, boys and girls and politicians, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore. There are lots of good restaurants in Switzerland and the Caribbean.

There’s a message in there somewhere. I’m sure of it.

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