Playing cards. Race cards.

The circus was in the area this week. Oh, wait, it was just Al Sharpton. Different clown entirely.

How did Sharpton’s appearance work out? Great, as far as I’m concerned. His candidate lost.

Speaking of crazy racists calling other people racist…

The NAACP was visited by Michelle Obama, who said the group must “increase its intensity.” They did that by calling the TEA Party racist. They actually said “elements”were racist. And, of course, by elements, they mean “white people.”

Just who are these Colored People that National Association is looking to Advance? Of course, if they changed their name to the current “correct word/phrase” for blacks, they’d be the NAAAA. Which might not be a bad idea. Sounds like a bunch of sheep, mindlessly following their shepherd. Or Judas goat.

But maybe NAACP is right after all: National Association for the Advancement of Calumniation and Prevarication. Yeah, that fits.

Of course, all these lies and racism from the NAACP is beginning to confuse me. The NAACP is repeating lies about others and using race as a rallying point. Didn’t they also do that in the 1930s? Or was that NSDAP? It’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference.

Now, it seems that the TEA Party isn’t the only racist group. Al Qaeda is racist. This is after an attack in Africa. I suppose the blacks killed in the 9/11 attacks in the U.S. were simply killed because they were around a bunch of white people. Ditto for the blacks killed in the 7/7 attacks in the U.K.

Suddenly, Al Qaeda is racist. Does this mean that the administration will take the war on those terrorists seriously now? Or does it just mean that Eric Holder will sue Al Qaeda?

I’m hoping the former, since, in the left’s mind, this charge of Al Qaeda being racist makes them almost as dangerous as the TEA Party.

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Solving the GTMO problem

While I disagree with the president, I am still an American. And I have a duty to my country to help in any way I can.

One of the president’s biggest problems — as Obama sees it — is the prison at Guantanamo Bay (GTMO). And he is right about this: GTMO is a public relations issue for the U.S. Of course, he is one of the ones that made it a PR issue. But, the fact remains, it is an issue.

He wants to close GTMO, but he has no clue on what to do about the detainees there.

The president needs help.

And I’m here to help.

Putting our differences aside, I have the solution to the GTMO “problem.”

Let’s simply announce we’ve released everybody from GTMO — released them back in the countries where we found them. We don’t actually release anyone; just say we did.

It’s not like Obama is above telling a little White Lie. Or, in his case, a Half-White Lie. Since he’ll lie to the American people, he should have no problem lying to non-Americans, like the French, the Iranians, the Iraqi, the Canadians, the Germans, the MSNBC news anchors… We just tell them all that we have released the detainees, and we don’t know, or care, what happened to them after that.

The next thing to do is wait a week while they go all ga-ga over the “release” — then we announce that we’ve expanded the Air Force Flight Test Center (Detachment 3) research facility at Groom Lake (you might know it as “Groom Lake” or “Area 51”) and have converted the facility at GTMO to military research.

Again, that would be only a Half-White Lie, since we would be researching. Only we’d be researching terrorists. With water.

Groom Lake is very secure because of the nature of the testing that occurs there. You can’t just go there. Reporters can’t just go there. Don’t believe me? Try it.

And here’s the best part: tell Joe Biden that the research being done there is related to the aliens that crashed at Roswell. He can’t keep his mouth shut, so he’ll start that rumor. And the people that support Obama are the same kind of people that believe aliens crashed at Roswell, so it would fit their preconceived notions. Everything will take care of itself.

There you are, Mr. President. You have your solution to your GTMO “problem.”

  • The facility continues functioning as-is
  • The research and alien cover story explains why no one can go there to verify anything

Oh, and Mr. President? You’re welcome.

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Obama to right past CIA wrongs, blow up Los Angeles

WASHINGTON (AP) – Following recent revelations of harsh interrogation techniques during the Bush administration, coupled with the release of a CIA memo stating that those techniques were effective, the Obama administration has decided to “right past wrongs” and accomplish what the terrorists couldn’t: blow up Los Angeles.

“High value information came from interrogations in which those methods were used and provided a deeper understanding of the al Qa’ida organization that was attacking this country,” Adm. Dennis C. Blair, the intelligence director, wrote in a memo to his staff last Thursday.

Admiral Blair sent his memo on the same day the administration publicly released secret Bush administration legal memos authorizing the use of interrogation methods that the Obama White House has deemed to be illegal torture. Among other things, the Bush administration memos revealed that two captured Qaeda operatives were subjected to a form of near-drowning known as waterboarding a total of 266 times.

“We were shocked when we learned the full extent of the inappropriate techniques approved by the CIA under the previous administration,” White House press secretary Robert L. Gibbs told reporters. “That’s one of the reasons we made the memos public. We want everyone to know what was done, supposedly in our name, and that this administration does not condone such actions.”

Nakatomi Plaza
Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles was the first building destroyed in the Obama administration’s attempt to right past wrongs.

The president plans to go even further, Gibbs said.

“It would be unconscionable for this administration to look the other way, just because those tactics achieved results. It was wrong to use them, and we should not benefit from their use,” Gibbs stated. “The president had directed that, since those tactics obtained information that prevented a major attack on Los Angeles, it is only right that we carry out the attack on ourselves.”

Late last night, the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles was destroyed. It was one of the high profile targets of the operatives that were to carry out the attacks on the west coast.

“We have transcripts of all the information obtained from Khalid Shaikh Mohammed and Abu Zubaydah. They listed all the targets and the time frames of the scheduled attacks,” Gibbs said. “We are looking to compile a list of all those who were at or near the targets on the dates in question. Their deaths were prevented by these illegal interrogation tactics. The president seeks to correct that.”

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Getting what you voted for

With the President ordering the closing of Guantanamo Bay, the question arises: what to do with the prisoners there?

Of course, there are some on the left that think they need to be released. This, despite ongoing reports of former detainees returning to terrorism.

However, let’s assume that the administration recognizes that the bad guys are bad guys and need to be kept locked up somewhere.

Some states are saying they don’t want them. And I agree. I don’t want my state housing them.

But, then again, my state voted for McCain.

I have a solution that ought to make everybody happy: Spread the Guantanamo Bay prisoners around among the states that voted for Obama. I mean, after all, he campaigned on the promise to close Gitmo. So it’s not like they didn’t know he’d do it, right?

Well, it was okay with them if he did. So much so that they voted him into office.

I’m for having those responsible for putting Obama into office having to put up with the consequences.

Here’s the plan: There are, by one count, 245 prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. 28 states and the District of Columbia awarded 365 Electoral Votes to Obama.

Spread them out accordingly.

For each Electoral Vote for Obama, a state gets just over 2/3 (0.671) of a prisoner. Here’s the breakdown:

State Electoral Votes Guantanamo Bay
California 55 36
Colorado 9 6
Connecticut 7 5
Delaware 3 2
D.C. 3 2
Florida 27 18
Hawaii 4 3
Illinois 21 14
Indiana 11 7
Iowa 7 5
Maine 4 3
Maryland 10 7
Massachusetts 12 8
Michigan 17 11
Minnesota 10 7
Nebraska 1 1
Nevada 5 3
New Hampshire 4 3
New Jersey 15 10
New Mexico 5 3
New York 31 21
North Carolina 15 10
Ohio 20 13
Oregon 7 5
Pennsylvania 21 14
Rhode Island 4 3
Vermont 3 2
Virginia 13 9
Washington 11 7
Wisconsin 10 7
365 245

This could solve all kinds of problems.

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