Writing satire is fun, but I’m starting to think maybe I should put my skills towards doing something good in this world. That’s why I’m thinking of starting the Charlton Heston Memorial Fund (I know he’s not dead, but “Memorial Fund” sounds better). I would use my humor to fundraise money towards the eventual eradication of all monkeys, thus preventing the horrible “Planet of the Apes” scenario that Heston warned us about. First, I’d start with all the monkeys that are near extinction since they’d be easy to finish off, and then I’d later move on to the monkeys with greater populations, ending, finally, with the eradication of the very last capuchin monkey. After that, the left over money could go to fight Alzheimer disease.
So what do you think? Maybe the next t-shirt can be one showing support of the eradication of all monkeys. Until then, buy the Nuke the Moon t-shirt.
No. I don’t think we’ll be doing that…
Don’t listen to Mike, Frank. Eliminating all monkeys is a noble goal. I heard some guy has a plan to eliminate all mosquitos to prevent disease outbreaks. Perhaps your monkey elimination plan could get in on that too.
Good luck.
Can you combine the mosquito elimination and the monkey elimination? Infect the mosquitos with some monkey-specific virus that will also make the mosquitos sterile, and turn them loose?
Actually, I was just quoting the monkey on rollerskates that works for NASA from the averagenauts episode of the Simpsons – which also had quite a good Planet of the Apes send up. Kill all them damn dirty apes, I say.
Missed the reference.