Whatever happened to the posse? Used to be whenever something went wrong, a group of angry people with guns would get together and take care of it. Nowadays, it always seems the answer is to sit on one’s lazy ass and either ignore it or call the police. Well, I’m tired of that; I think it’s time to bring back the posse.
Think of all the advantages to the posse:
* It’s an outdoor activity: Nothing like getting fresh air when walking around angry with guns.
* It involves exercise: Exercise comes in the form of walking– and sometimes punching and kicking.
*It involves brainwork: You have to figure out who the perpetrator is to a 55% degree of certainty before you rough him up, and that takes detective work.
* It helps you meet people in your community: Either from them joining the posse or you roughing them up.
* It’s an excuse to openly carry guns: Guns are cool.
A posse to me sounds like the American way: people taking things into their own hands. Well, next homeowner’s association meeting, I’m going to bring up the idea of the posse committee, which I will head. Something goes wrong in our neighborhood, people come talk to me and I’ll get together a group of considered citizens to handle it. Chair missing from the cabana? When we find out who took it, he’ll wish he had never been born. Someone trample through my neighbors prized begonias? One we take out his kneecaps, he won’t be trampling through anything no more. Something knock over a trashcan at night. Probably raccoons, but it could be ninjas. Better get the posse together.
I think I’ll take my shotgun, my .45, and my samurai sword (in case it is ninjas), and then I get a big group armed to the teeth and start questioning people.
“What do you know, kid?”
“I just learned my ABC’s today, mister.”
I pick the kid up by his collar. “Don’t get wise with me! What do you know about that trashcan getting knocked over last night?”
“You’re a mean and scary man!”
I squint my eyes. “You just think I’m mean and scary now.”
Man, that sounds so cool. And think of how great a posse will be in places where there is actual crime. Maybe I could write a book on posse etiquette to help other people start their own posse, putting forth rules on how to alternate who gets to do the roughing up so that no one feels left out (the main part of a posse is making friends). Why hasn’t anyone brought up this idea before? Oh yeah, because only I am super-smart enough to have thought of it.
Hey, I hear Saddam is still on the loose and worth 25 million dollars. Anyone interested in getting a posse together and go finding him?
I think they all went over to Tampatantrum’s blog.
Brilliant!
I think you may have stumbled on a way to really help the nation.
First, we get teams of posses to try to capture Saddam first. That fills Iraq with Americans. What’s more, it’ll help the economy because all the posses people will need to buy supplies. Plus, none of the posse people will be looking for work so unemployment will go down.
Then, the best part. Posses really tick off liberals. We can get the hippies to go over there to protest. It wouldn’t take much to herd them toward Iran where the people are oppressed by the theocracy. The hippies will get heavily killed by the Iranians. That would be “bad” enough that we can bomb Iran.
FrankJ, you’ve done it again.
Are there gender requirements for a posse? I don’t remember seeing or reading anything about women being involved.
You forgot to mention how the posse should dress. I believe this is highly important – almost ranking as crucial as the visible guns – in the public perception of the posse’s effectiveness.
hln
We’ll raise up our glasses against evil forces
singin’, “Whiskey for my men
and beer for my horses!”
Posse indeed! While a posse is an agreeable form of sporting vigilantism, since when did IMAO need the “steenkin’ bahdges” that comes with deputization into a posse? Sounds like with the passing of another year (happy belated blogoversary, I’d link to your site but I’m merely a commenter, not a blogger) the IMAO’s notorious hair-trigger independence has aged into a calmer, kinder and gentler committe chairmanship. Why go all squishy soft now, Frank?
Other cool things about posses:
1) Roasting marshmallows over the smoldering ruins of villain’s ranches.
2) Hoisting bad guys into trees on a rope is good for working the upper body.
3) Posses get PAID as deputies. Nothing better than a little extra cash!
4) Chicks dig posse riders.
Most people prefer a shaved posse than an unshaved one, so grooming is important.
Before you head out with the sherrif, you should shower too. Nobody wants to be around a stinky posse.
Bozeman, MT. East of the fairgrounds, the Sheriff’s Posse maintains a building filled with posse stuff.
Yes, we still have posses in MT.
You’d fit in real good over here Frank, and it’s a great place to work on your manifesto.
Most western counties still have a Sheriff’s Posse, to this day. It’s mostly ceremonial (hint, in the parade always march in FRONT of the horses)but, in my county, it gets called out fairly frequently, mostly looking for missing children. We have a big lake and a lot of rivers and creeks.
We have a pretty good record finding lost kids, haven’t had a good lynching, though, since Moby Dick was a minnow.(Dang!)
I think there was a Simpson’s episode about this. Worked out pretty well for springfield.
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F09.html
“So the man who was looking for you this whole time was the one who finally caught you.”
“How ironic.”
Brian –
As I was reading this, I was actually listening to that song. Nice bit of serendipity for the day, thanks.
There have been posses in this neighborhood. Hey, the guy next door with the gang tattoos moved away because he said this neighborhood was too rough.
Hey Frank how about getting jaunty little berets and dumbass pins to wear.
You could be like Curtis Sliwa’s posse (except with guns.)
you buncha posses
I agree with frank j.. The “posse” is about as American as it comes. Angry peasants in Europe might storm
I’ll go hunt Saddam with you! But I get to ride standing up in the back of the “Rat Patrol” jeep and shoot the 50-calber machine gun. Otherwise, it’s no deal.
We still have real posses here in Texas. Here is the Travis County Posse webpage:
http://www.angelfire.com/tx5/tcsp/index.htmlWatch out though — the queers have been appropriating the word, and now there are a bunch of gay cowboys running around making posse pages.
I just feel sorry for the horses.
The Force Is Strong With This One…
…and that line, in a Depotic Tyranny such as The Empire, can be excessively bad news for the one talked…
Well, there won’t be ANY posses or ANY guns if the gun-control crowd on both left and right have their way.
Left AND right? Yep!
http://www.survivalistskills.com/nwa.htm.
And the US political elite is STILL committed to its obligations to disarm Americans, and then the country, as expressed in STATE DEPARTMENT DOCUMENT 7277 [see http://www.survivaliskills.com/STAT7277.HTM.
Gun control is still a real issue for both parties, and for their elite backers!
There’s an excellent selection of other ‘New World Order Intelligence Update’ articles on topics connected with this archived at http://www.rarehistorybooks.com/NWOLINKS.HTM. Well worth reading!
Posse
Recently Frank J wrote a piece about the need to revive the Posse. Perhaps this is what you were looking for Frank? Crowd Chases Down, Beats Motorist Who Hit Boy “WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — A motorist who allegedly hit…
Sorry, folks – the links I posted don’t work!
Here here’s the posting again [for context] with the links re-coded:
“Well, there won’t be ANY posses or ANY guns if the gun-control crowd on both left and right have their way.
Left AND right? Yep!
See the warning article “GUN CONTROL AND THE NEW WORLD ORDER” at http://www.survivalistskills.com/nwa.htm.
And the US political elite is STILL committed to its obligations to disarm Americans, and then the country, as expressed in STATE DEPARTMENT DOCUMENT 7277 [see http://www.survivaliskills.com/STAT7277.HTM.
If you want to get REALLY worried, see the ‘OPERATION GARDEN PLOT’ page at see http://www.survivaliskills.com/GDNPLOT.HTM.
Gun control is still a real issue for both parties, and for their elite backers!
There’s an excellent selection of other ‘New World Order Intelligence Update’ articles on topics connected with this archived at http://www.rarehistorybooks.com/NWOLINKS.HTM. Well worth reading!”
There is an old saying I heard about how “A posse(mob) is only as smart as its dumbest member.” I have since discovered this is only true with Liberal War Protesters….
Here in Suffolk County, NY we use to have special deputy sheriff’s until 2002, they were like a posse, mostly looking for missing kids, etc. We also have 2,800 County Police officers and 600 municipal cops in addition to about 350 regular deputy sheriff’s. Thats why we got rid of them, besides all they did was look for missing kids and people with Alzheimers and direct traffic at major events.