Scott from The Frozen Tundra Of Minnesota asks:
If I actually remembered to sign up with Netflix through your site (thus netting you $9 and contributing to your plan to make a bajillion dollars), do I get an honorable mention in an “In My World” piece?
Why would you need any other prize that the many great DVD’s you’ll receive through the mail now that you’re a Netflix member. I know I sure enjoy it… or at least I did when my widescreen TV was working. I better get it back today as I have Pirates of the Caribbean, Underworld, and Once a Time in Mexico waiting.
Oh, and everyone else sign up through my button for Netflix too so I get more money and you get movies. Everyone wins.
Brandon G. from Bramble, IN writes:
Help. I’ve been seeing commercials for “Parents: The Anti-Drug.” All well and good, but I’ve seen commercials for “Responsibility: The Anti-Drug.” I went to anti-drug.com in hopes of gleaning once and for all what the anti-drug of choice is, but instead, I also found “Volunteerism: The Anti-Drug,” “Talking To Your Daughter: The Anti-Drug” and “Reality: The Anti-Drug.”
Frank, I’m so confused now. With so many anti-drugs on the market, how will I know which one’s right for me?
The idea is that you need to find your own anti-drug by constantly experimenting with all sorts of different anti-drugs to see which one gives you the best anti-high.
My anti-drug is booze, BTW.
Lou Windsor asks:
When will all the Hippies die?
When we kill them, Lou. When we kill them.
Alex from Ye Olde England from:
Frank – thanks for your advice on joining the military reserve. My next question is this: I sometimes see people waving signs saying “Free Palestine!”…but where do I get my free Palestine? Does it come in a Happy Meal or something? I would ask but the people waving the signs smell funny.
Ever come to think why they’re giving it away? It’s because it’s full of murderous Palestinians, blowing themselves up and others. Hell, I’d bet some would pay you take their Palestine off their hands. Frankly, I’d just stick to trying free cheese samples as the supermarket.
Jona G. from Higley, AZ writes:
Frank, Drudge Report just had a news article stating that only 15% of Canadians would vote for George Bush. I’m at a loss as to why this is even newsworthy. Isn’t that like saying that only 15% of Mexicans would vote for Vladimir Putin? I mean, who cares? And who is this moron polling Canadians on something they will never be able to do? And why are these Canadians dumb enough to respond to these “fantasy vote” questions? I’m perplexed.
Well, Canadians are quite dumb; that’s why they’re not Americans. To be the most kick ass country around, we have to be a little discriminating about who can be our citizens. Now, the Canadians are upset that most Americans don’t even know where they are, so they do stuff like this to say, “Hey! Pay attention to us, eh!” Don’t fall for it.
If someone asks you what’s up north, tell them Maine. If they ask you what’s further north than that, just say barren wasteland in which no man can survive and not be inconsequential.
Mark from Olympia, Washington asks:
1. How many rocks would the Mars explorers have to photograph to justify
spending 800 million bucks on the mission?
2. If the explorers discover there was once water on Mars, what should
we do next?
1. 47
2. We should steal all the water from the Martian people despite all the hippy protests of “No Green Ooze for Water”.
Please keep the questions coming (I would especially like more science and math questions), <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.
1. 47
LOL! Very good, grasshopper.
Frank, you know I respect your wisdom, but I do believe you are mistaken in this case. Any time you have a mysterious, unanswerable question, the ultimate answer applies
It’s 42.
Although I suppose it could be 47 since Mars is a little farther from the sun…
This ain’t Harvey answers, Harvey.
People complain now about the $800 million, but wait until the real estate boom and we’re the only ones with strip malls there. Then they’ll regret being a bunch of whiners.
That’s a damn shame. People be throwin’ ‘way a perfectly good 42 like dat.
Very disturbing to see that 2 of the movies you mentioned are Johnny “i’d rather live in france” Depp.
Personally, I still watch his movies because they are usually pretty good and I’m pretty weak. I just expected more from you, Frank. What gives?
the previous comments should have gone with the Netflix post. D’oh!
I heard Pirates of the Caribbean was good and that Once Upon a Time in Mexico had lots of shooting. As for renting Underworld, I have no excuse.
I’ve found violence to be the best anti-drug by far. Surely there is nothing better than beating up some smelly hippy. big smile
Frank J. Answers
And lays the smack down on Canadians: Frank, Drudge Report just had a news article stating that only 15% of Canadians would vote for George Bush. I’m at a loss as to why this is even newsworthy. Isn’t that like…
“Drudge Report just had a news article stating that only 15% of Canadians would vote for George Bush. I’m at a loss as to why this is even newsworthy. Isn’t that like saying that only 15% of Mexicans would vote for Vladimir Putin?”
A good observation and a just question. And when do I get my free Palestine? Do I get one when I sign up for NetFlix?
“Frankly, I’d just stick to trying free cheese samples as the supermarket.”
Am I the only one that finds it amusing when you use the word ‘frankly’? It’s like me saying, “Robly, I’d have no idea where to even put a free Palestine….” I dunno……
Bubbly, I found Frank’s use of ‘Frankly’ amusing also.
How about taking your free Palestine, surrounding it with mirrors, send in all the hippys, and when your free Palestine starts exploding naturally, ’cause thats what palestines do, the hippy (parts) fly, the mirrors break and you give away whats left of your free Palestine bearing all the resulting bad luck to France.
Hay,
I used to live in Higley.
Actually, is was Gilbert, part of the greater Higley metroplex.
Anyway, I hope you are not making sport of Higley.
There are many fine goats and chikins in Higley.
No monkeys either.
If McDonalds started a ‘Free Hippy with every Happy Meal’ campaign two things would happen:
1. No one would ever go to McD’s again
2. McD’s would have no choice but to take all the unclaimed Happy Meal Hippies to the local land fill and bury ’em up to their heads.
Why just to their heads? The hippies would still smell worse than the land fill, thus keeping the rats and sea gulls out (at least until they stopped whining).
Hey Bubba, shouldn’t that have been “bubbaly”? I guess that does look kinda goofy. Nevermind.
Hay Concerned Ex-Zonie! Why’d you leave?! We love Higley and are hoping we don’t get sucked into Gilbert. And don’t forget the cows (I know we can’t when the wind is blowing north)!
Ew. Johnny Depp.
I haven’t provided a single dollar to the movie industry in well over a year. I haven’t been to the theater. I’ve not rented a single film. (I have, however, watched Charlies Angels and The Wizard of Oz with my godkids about 900 times.. but their mom paid for the dvds at wal-mart, not me.)
I will never.ever.again use any of my hard-earned dollars to watch any of the trash those frog-faced-bastards make. F***, movies aren’t even good anymore. In my book, most of Hollywood is on the same level as the French.. and should subsequently be sacrificed to large, rabid mammals. Hungry, rabid mammals. With big teeth.
Frank, What about Alaskans, Alaskans are Americans too….And very Republican ones…Unlike those Hawaiians… Say Alaska, where there’s lots of oil but the libs won’t let us have it, if they ask what’s in between it’s I don’t know some barren desert or something like that.
I’m not exactly a fan of Johnny Depp, but I must say that I really liked Pirates…. And Depp did an excellent job in that role. It was hard to believe it was him… very entertaining, IMHO.
If only there was a way to keep Hollywood locked up in the basement, to be brought up from time to time strictly to amuse us.
And fetch us another beer.
And maybe clean the dishes….
In my 7+ years being stationed in Europe my wife and I would go to France for 2 weeks every summer. Why? It is a wonderful place to vacation. Great food, weather, wine, etc. But more importantly, I call it taking the fight to the enemy. To paraphrase the character Randal Graves from the movie “Clerks”: This country would be great if weren’t for the f***ing people! I’ll keep going back and keep letting the stinky bastards know that the only reason they’re not speaking German is because of the Stars and Bars!
I caught most of Underworld on the campus movie channel the other night, it was fairly original (at least as far as my personal scope was concerned) and watchable, and had a seriously hot babe handling firearms! What more can ya ask for?? Oh yea, it was nice to see some good cinematography…er…camera angles. Finally a director that might understand perspective and depth in filming…but I digress.
And I’m disapointed in everyone! Don’t you all know that the whole purpose of going to Mars is to eventually terraform it, make it habitable to human life, and mine the hell out of it? That would piss off every hippy, liberal, environmentalist, I-don’t-understand-planetary-cycles-so-I-call-it-global-warming-scientist,
and short-sighted Democrat. What fun! And just imagine the huge, live fire practice ranges we could build next to the resorts! Oh yea…and I need a job transporting tourists back and forth from Earth. See?? Works for everyone!
“If they ask you what’s further north than that, just say barren wasteland in which no man can survive and not be inconsequential.”
That’s right, and thanks. We need all the help we can get to keep the ‘muricans away. We’re running out of space to stack their skis and snowmobiles when they arrive here in the summer. And our stocks of soapstone penguin carvings that we hand out as souvenirs to departing ‘murican tourists are getting low.
We still have a serious balance-of-trade problem. No matter how many stereotypes we export, we don’t get no respect in return. Dunno how we can fix that. Mebbe lower the price of our Canadian Arctic Lows, but you know how fickle the weather can be.
Frank, Was that 47 a Douglas Adams allusion ?
Only in that it was an arbitrarily chosen number, just like when Douglas Adams chose the number 42.
In short: no.