Yes, as mentioned at the end of the post of Superego in Baen’s Bar, there is an epilogue to the story. I was planning to maybe do it as a dramatic reading if we were going to have an IMAO Christmas DVD this year, but I’ll post it here on IMAO for free if you all do a little favor in excahnge.
Some background: Baen is a publisher of science fiction (I’ve met some authors he’s published through this site). He’s going to have a new magazine, and, at the suggestion of a reader, I submitted Superego for it by posting it over in Astounding Slush at Baen’s Bar (I reedited it so there are no longer 44 breaks in the story).
Now, I wanted to have a discussion of Superego to help me be a better writer. Since comments are buggy over here right now (it will be fixed soon), I thought maybe we could have a discussion of the story over at Baen’s Bar. It’s already started, and, if you liked the story (or even if you didn’t it), I think it would be nice for you to post a critique over there. Yes, you have to do a very quick registration, but that seems like a small price to pay since you already got a free story. By having the discussion over there, I might get a little exposure, and, as long as a good discussion gets going, I’ll write the epilogue (it’s already written in my head) and post it.
As for the critique, please tell me what you thought were the strengths or the story, any questions you have, and, most importantly, what you didn’t like. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF HURTING MY FEELINGS. I’ve been through critiques where pretty much every sentence of something I wrote got ripped apart. I need honesty to be a better writer.
So, please go over there, register, and join the discussion. Then, I’ll post the epilogue and you’ll for certain know the fate of Rico.
UPDATE: Also, if there’s any part that sticks out as needing being changed, mention that.
First!
That was near five hours until a first comment. Are the comments that buggy, or did everyone leave?
I just went over and registered without commenting… Been re-reading your brilliant story and enjoying it again! Looking forward to the epilogue!
Blenster
Blenster,
If people want the epilogue anytime soon, we need more of a discussion first.
How hard is it to tear apart the work of another? I do it all the time for fun.
I logged into the Baen board and took a look at Superego. Still a neat-o story, Frank!
Some light comments (just for starters) … unless you are shooting for National Lampoon PJ O’Rourke kinda tongue in cheek kinda sarcasm, you need to be more consistent with your characterization of Rico. For a consciousless sociopath/psychopath, he does a lot of internal agonizing. I think you could prolly accomplish the same commentary (which I guess was one of your aims here)either by making DIP a little more coherent (sort of a Jiminy Cricket for our favorite pychokiller) or expanding on his dialogs with other characters.
Also, the action, at times, gets a little muddy, with the sense of scene growing hazy behind all the gunplay.
Also also, the vocabulary used to describe the other characters seems a little, um, Halloween? A “big alien with purple tentacles coming out of his head”. Funny once, Mike. Funny twice, perhaps. Funny for 30,000 words? I dunno. How did you feel about Goodgulf Grayteeth by the end of “Bored of the Rings”?
That said, I really enjoyed the story. I hope you have success getting it published. I just wanted to give some constructive criticism that has more to do with the conversion from a serialized blog to a stand-as-a-piece story.
Grendle