(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
So I keep hearing Democrats claiming that Bush lied about the reasons for going to war in Iraq – because he said that he knew that Saddam had WMD.
But then I find out that these same Democrats – or possibly others… I can’t tell, they all look alike to me – were saying that THEY knew that Saddam had WMD.
Maybe they’re crazy.
But then again, maybe there’s another explanation… Let’s see…
- Yes, they said those things a few years ago, but now they have amnesia because they fell down the stairs after fainting when their husband found out that they were pregnant by their ex-husband because they made love while being held prisoner on an island by an international terrorist, but only because they thought they were going to die and they turned to each other for comfort.
- Don’t look at me like that – it happened on Days Of Our Lives.
- Latest talking points memo from the Abilene Kinko’s was in a hard-to-read font – confusion ensued.
- Memo may have sustained water damage from riding in a car with Ted Kennedy.
- Ditto Ted Kennedy’s memory.
- Of course, that might have been the gin.
- Or the Scotch
- Possibly the Sterno
- Clinton’s quotes contain the word “is”, so there’s no way to tell what he really meant.
- They only said those things in the first place because President Bush drove up to their houses with a huge truck full of cash & hookers. Haven’t we ALL had a moment of weakness?
- What the Democrats said doesn’t count because they had their fingers crossed.
- They didn’t say “Saddam has WMD”, they said “Saddam has WMB”, as in “Saddam has Wondrous Man Booty”.
- Democrats are hypocritical weasels who will do or say ANYTHING to regain political power, regardless of any negative repercussions on the troops in the field.
Eh. I’m sure ONE of those is the right answer.
I think they forgot because…I WAS FIRST!!!!
They were the “good” kind of WMDs, that would never be used against people who really matter to blue-state voters.
*Hey look! Over there! It’s Cindy Sheehan!
*Hey look! Over there! It’s a Hurricane! Those are ChimpyMcBusHitler’s fault because of global warning, AND because the CIA (which we defend when it suits us) planted bombs in the levees because Chimpy hates black people.
and the most convincing explanation:
FIRST!
d’oh, beat to the punch!!!
Harvey… how do you know what happened on Days of Our Lives? You don’t watch it, do you?
My wife watches it, and sometimes I happen to accidentally overhear it in the other room and…
YOU SHUT UP!
So, how does this theory account for Hillary’s vote?
Let’s just say that Hillary has an “open source sexual preference”…
I will go with the first reason. It is the most plausible.
I guess democratic memory is one of those things that changes with public opinion…. just a thought 😉
It had to be the Gin/Scotch/Sternotini they all socked away before meeting the press. If you’re too drunk to remember; it didn’t happen!