I have no desire to know the spawning habits of celebrities or pandas
But I hate pandas more. I really hate pandas.
The cloning of a dog meriting Time’s top invention of the year is bogus.
Let me know when scientists can clone a panda so headlines like this are a thing of the past.
“Hey, a baby panda just passed its first medical tests!”
“Who cares… we have a whole factory full of panda embryos growing.”
“Oh. Okay. Wanna go get a pandaburger?”
“Nah. I’m in the mood for panda fajitas.”
Because I hate headlines about pandas as much as I hate the pandas themselves.
What did the pandas ever do to you?
I think that there was a question on the SAT when I took it back in the dark ages (we were using quill pens to write the answers on parchment):
Frank J. is to monkeys as Laurence Simon is to:
a. Frank J.
b. Michael Moore
c. pandas
d. Roger Simon
e. none of the above
I wish that you had published your story before I took the SAT. My verbal score would have been better.
The problem is that these pandas have been in captivity their whole lives and have forgotten the lengthy and rigorous courtship dance, which involves a series of grunts and gargles accompanied by dance moves that resemble the Lindy Hop. Plus the male is required to fashion an origami floral arrangement out of moistened slices of bamboo.
Or we could get Homer Simpson to put that panda suit back on. that seemed to do the trick.
I think that animal cloning is a great idea. Sick of the same old boring beef, pork, veal, lamb, chicken, turkey, mutton, venison, elk, fish, emu, and sea otter? With the magic of cloning, you’d be able to try a new variety of animal flesh every day!
I can’t wait to try panda burgers.
Am I the only one who thought that panda was smoking a cigarette?
Make sure to use the 85% lean panda for that burger. Not enough fat and it will dry out terribly…
Nooooo!! how could you hate this little booger…
Live baby Panda Webcam
A panda walks into a bar, pulls out a gun and blasts the living hell out of everything in sight and walks back out. The bartender sticks his head up over the bar and yells, “What the HELL is your problem?” The bear pauses, looks over his shoulder and says, “I’m a panda, look it up.” and proceeds out the door.
The bartender picks his way to the office, grabs the Dictionary and looks up Panda: A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear. Eats, shoots and leaves.
And now you’re just panda’ing to the extremist right wing.
What about Sexual Harrassment Panda?
“when 1 panda puts his furry little willy into another panda’s ear, that make’s me a saaaaaad panda.”-sexual harrassment panda
later he becomes Petey the Don’t Sue People Panda
you can’t hate him, can you?
On behalf of all things almost-beefy…
Let’s hear it for the panda burger.
That, or eat chicken.
Panda-monium!
If they do that, you’ll see on the next Simpson’s episode something like this:
“mmmmmm….burger….
mmmmmm….panda….”
But in all honesty, a Panda burger does sound appealing. I mean, after a while, Ostrich is no longer exotic and the Eskimos keep chasing me away from their baby seals.
note to self, hide club