My predictions for 2005 all turned out wrong, so why bother with 2006?
Heck, when the Mayor of Houston awarded a no-bid contract for towing companies to drag helpless freeway-clogging breakdowns away in his SafeClear proposal, I thought that Santa’s sleigh would be towed by eight tiny SafeClear towtrucks.
Nope. Didn’t happen. Just the usual eight tiny reindeer, towing the sleigh. Then Santa tried to make a left turn on Main and got whalloped by the METRO Light Rail.
Man, that bag of toys blew out like a pinata smacked by Barry Bonds. Broken toys for everyone!
So my resolution for 2006 will be to remain open-minded and flexible in dealing with whatever 2006 is fated to throw in my direction. And to be wise enough to listen when someone yells “DUCK!”
PS: Some of you have the tradition of firing guns off to ring in the New Year. I strongly believe in the individual’s right to not only bear arms, but to use them in situations when it is necessary to defend and preserve innocent life.
I also believe in gun safety, since it is part of the use of a gun to prevent accidental and/or untimely snuffings of innocent individuals.
If you’ve got to go all Yosemite Sam at the stroke of midnight, here’s one word of advice: fire blanks.
However, remember to swap the blanks for live rounds afterward. There’s nothing quite like like starting off the New Year with black-eyed peas and a dead burglar in your front hallway.