ABC news is reporting that a group in Wisonsin is trying to make their city more appealing by moving the city thermometer to a warmer area.
I say – good for them. Perception is 9/10 of marketing! With that in mind – I put my super powers (the ability to waste time on trivial items) to the test and came up with…
The Top City Slogans to Make Milwaukee Feel Warmer.
10. Undergarments are sexier when they’re battery powered.
9. Ice Sculpture: it isn’t just for summer.
8. Outdoor — schmoutdoors.
7. Every Monday is a snow day.
6. Jack Frost is ready to nibble your nose.
5. Shoveling is good exercise.
4. Yes, but have you ever felt a witch’s teet?
3. Cold: it preserves better than Botox.
2. Pay only $ 149,000 for a 3 bedroom, two bath igloo!
And the number one City Slogan to Make Milwaukee Feel Warmer…
1. We understand — but it’s a dry cold.
As always, it is a pleasure to help and make a contribution to the community. Brr. It’s cold.
#7, #5 and #1 are my faves.
I meant #8, #5 and #1.
4. Yes, but have you ever felt a witch’s tit?
Bill Clinton unavailable for comment.
“We keep our brass monkeys inside.”
See, I live in AZ, so the It’s a dry cold comment kills me!
In defense of Milwaukee:
When I went there a few years back, I got HUGE servings in all of the places I went to eat.
Because, apparently, they think you should be well-fed when you freeze to death.
You are a naughty duck!
Didn’t they make beer there, back in the day? Other than beer, what else ever made Milwaukee famous? Don’t they have a tool company that makes great quality, if pricey tools?
Here in the true south, not many people could give a toss about Milwaukee, or anywhere else in Canada. 😉
I demand the return of:
RWD’s Daily News Roundup
Ask Dr. Ducky
!!! (shake fist)