Graphic violence – yay, another main character will die this week. FRANK: Sweetie, they’ve said the graphic violence warning every week this season. SARAHK: Yeah, and a main character has died almost as often.
Previously on 24: Mr. F took over CTU, SexHarassman acted like an insecure worm, Audrey had to explain herself to Chloe, Wayne questioned Evelyn, Evelyn used the Kidnapped-Daughter Card (that’s such a cliche among aides to first ladies), Robocop and Jack and Wayne had a big shootout, and Evelyn was shot in the leg. No Rico Suave after the first 5 minutes. And President Estro is bossing Robocop around.

Jack’s talking to Audrey and tells her that Palmer’s dead because Estro is bad. Audrey says “No way!” Jack says, “Way! We’re gonna have to call your dad once we get the recording of Estro talking to Robocop, like, okay?” Audrey says, “If we can talk about our relationship later, you’ve got a deal.”
Jack and Evelyn are in a hotel room, Wayne and the kid are waiting outside. Rico Suave still not in the show, and that makes me sad. Jack rips off Evelyn’s clothes (to look at her gunshot wound), and they let the kid in to see mom while Jack and Wayne go on a super mission. Have I mentioned I’d much prefer to see Rico in this role?
Robocop is talking to Estro, and Robo says that he’ll get the recording back. Estro says the plan was to make the country safer by having a nerve gas crisis (mkay), and everything just got super-scary and crazy when Robo decided to kill Palmer. “I mean, everything was going great when we were just plotting to kill the Russian president and kill innocent civilians at the mall and take over an airport terminal and execute innocents and kill everyone at CTU including that big old teddy bear Deadgar and put a Mentally Retarded Female in charge over CTU and disperse nerve gas into all the homes in L.A. But YOU! YOU had to go and execute the black man, just for funsies, and EVERYONE loves the black man! You ruined EVERYTHING!”
Chloe tells Mr. F that Estro’s on line 1, and Mr. F says, “I’m totally sitting at Bill Buchanan’s desk now, because it makes me feel pretty.” Chloe half rolls her eyes and nods. “Yeah, I get it. I hate you.”
Mr. F answers the phone, and Estro says, “Mr. F, it’s 11 p.m. Do you know where your Jack Bauer is?” “My who? Oh yeah, him. He’s supposed to be on his way here. But he’s gone off the grid. Which means we can’t find his destroyer nor his submarine. Need I even mention his Battleship?”
Estro tells her that he’s issuing an executive order for Jack’s arrest and framing. Mr. F says, “What’d he do?” Estro says, “You know, he killed that black guy that everyone loves. Even SarahK loved him, and she doesn’t love anyone.” Mr. F says, “But I thought you said he didn’t do it, and now you’re waffling… are you sure you’re Republican?” and Estro says something about new information, like the information that he’s a scum-sucking weasel not fit to lick Jack’s boots, and tells Mr. F to keep the warrant on the down-low. “You mean like your sexual preferences?” “And yours.”
Audrey fakes going over a report with Chloe so she can ask for a private secured super-strong cell-phone. Make sure it’s a Sprint Treo! Chloe says she can do anything except smile and then notices the warrant for Jack flash across her screen. Audrey draws some black clouds and crows into the background and says ominously, “It’s starting.” Chloe says, “Oh no. I hope you don’t mean our chamomile tea hour. I’m not ready! I’m not ready!”
Mr. F joins them and says she wants to talk to them about Jack’s warrant. Audrey says, “I’ma go get some sleep, but yeah, why the heck is there a warrant?” Chloe mentions the teeny fact that someone else confessed and tells Mr. F that she should read the logs because she’s a moron. Mr. F says she knows about the logs, and then writes down “check logs” on her hand in red pen.
When Audrey finally has enough, she walks out, and Mr. F calls SexHarassman and the new blonde chick Valerie, and they tell Mr. F the transponder is on Audrey’s car. She says, “Yay! She’ll lead us to Jack! I’m so excited!”
Chloe keeps typing.
Still no Rico Suave, and it’s still the wrong Palmer brother that’s alive and with Jack. Wayne says, “We don’t need guns to rob a bank, right?” and Jack says, “Don’t be a wuss. If we’re gonna pretend to rob a bank, we have to have guns.” And they’re robbing the bank because they need to get to the safe deposit box where Evelyn had the evidence.
Jack, like Sydney Bristow, can disarm any alarm and pick any lock, so Jack and Wayne bust in to the bank manager’s house and scare him and his wife. Manager tries to yell for wifey. Jack punches him in the throat. They tie up the wife and tell the bank manager they’re going to the bank.
Audrey calls her daddy, and the SecDef is back on the show. He’s gonna stop off in L.A. to see his Precious. Audrey calls Chloe from the gas station, and Chloe helps Whiny find the tracker on the car. She puts it on a big rig (18 wheels on one of those, you know). Audrey’s jacket is pretty.
Estro and the Veep have a confrontation. The Veep is upset about the warrant for Jack, Estro tells him there’s new evidence, and the Veep’s like yeah right. Estro says that Walt must have been covering for Jack but now there’s no doubt that Jack was the shooter. Aaron is in the room when the conversation happens, and Estro dismisses him so Aaron can go talk to the first lady in secret.
Evelyn falls down goes boom, and Amy, the bad daughter, calls 9-1-1. Bad girl calling 9-1-1 when your mommy’s dying!
Estro has a press conference. Says he’s a major hero. Marty is talking to Aaron saying that Estro really had a good day, what with thwarting madeup terrorists and whatnot. Aaron is “battle-worn” and calls Jack to ask if there’s anything he can do for Jack. Jack says watch your back and don’t blink. SarahK thinks Aaron’s going to die heroically. Because we all love Aaron, and the writers hate us all.
CTU finds out that Audrey ditched the transponder, and Mr. F tells Harassman to find her. Something unimportant like that.
Jack and Wayne make the bank manager break into the bank, and Jack says, “No funny business, or I’ll totally put a hit out on your wife. I can do that, because I’m Jack Bauer, and you’re nobody.” Management asks Wayne why they’re there, and he recognizes Wayne. Jack, you should have taken Rico Suave. WHERE IS CURTIS? I WANT HIM BACK! NOW!
Anyway. Wayne tells him they just want evidence on who killed David, Management asks why they didn’t just get a subpoena. Wayne says, “They’re after me! They want to snatch my body! I’m scared!” and Management says, fine, whatever.
EMTs arrive for Evelyn, and Robo busts in and shoots the EMTs. Evelyn is barely lucid, Robo asks where Jack is, and Bad Amy screams for effect.
Marty and Estro are talking, and she’s praising him like crazy. “You were magnificent!” “Magnificent! I could get used to being called that! Especially if it came from an attractive, neat, well-dressed man!”
Yeah, so it kinda sucks that now that Estro’s grown a pair, he grew an evil pair. He gets a call from Robo, who tells him they’re on their way to get Jack. Estro says tell me when it’s done, and when Marty asks when what’s done, she can tell he’s lying.
NEWSFLASH! AUDREY IS ON MULHOLLAND HEADED FOR THE SCOOBY-DOO PASS! Or something like that. It would be incredibly heartbreaking (for no one) if she were to get run off the road and die.
Over-Sensitive Girl asks Chloe if she’s got a minute. “No.” I love her. Over-Sensitive is on to Chloe, but she doesn’t realize it, because Chloe’s way smarter than her.
The Robogang arrives at the bank so they can have a big hairy shootout. Robocop, of course, isn’t there, so these guys are all wearing red shirts. Red’s such a pretty color for a shirt.
They get into the safety deposit box and listen to a recording that implicates Estro and Robocop. Management now wants to help any way he can. Jack says he wants his car for a little longer. “My car??? But gas prices!!” “Don’t worry, I’ll bring it back with a full tank of gas!” They decide to trip the silent alarm so LAPD and Robogang can have a shootout, which the Three Amigos can use as a diversion.
Does SexHarassman do anything other than look like a worm? Just wondering. Chloe’s corrupting the satellite feed (in private) so they can’t track Audrey. SHMan realizes the server is corrupt, and Chloe’s not at her desk. Meanwhile, she deletes the server files to some Mission Impossible Sean Callery tunes. He gets there, she’s gone, he finds her coming out of the bathroom. He asks what she was doing. “Are you kidding? If you really want the details I’ll write you a report.”
Jack and his P99 (such a beautiful gun, I want to clean it and shoot it and caress it and load it with hollow points) lead the way out of the bank as the LAPD shows up. Military shows up too. Jack, Management, and Wayne run out and steal a police car, because that’s what innocent people do. Management gets killed. His poor wife. Jack calls Audrey and says that Estro is for shizzay a bad guy. What a shocker ending! Estro’s bad!
Next week: SecDef asks how they know the recording is real. Then he confronts Estro and tells him the gig is up. SHMan (turns out, his name is Miles, which is perfect for such a creep) sets up Chloe with the help of Over-Sensitive Girl and tells Chloe she’s going to jail. Maybe at the end of the season, Chloe and Jack will escape overseas together! Jack tells Bill that Estro’s bad and using the military to keep his secret (not the brokeback secret, the evil pair of balls secret). Jack gets in a shootout of some sort.