Um… Is that a sweater vest under Ryan’s suit? Ryan says they’re so excited to have a Queen night on the show. I’ll bet you are, Ryan.
Poor Mandisa. I wish she were here. You people who didn’t vote for her suck. Wait, I didn’t ever get through, so I guess I suck too.
IDOLS 01… Bucky – “Fat Bottomed Girls”. You know, Bucky has such a nice personality. I hope he stays and Kellie goes. I know, y’all are shocked. He’s singing well, I’m happy with this. Especially since he’s singing about girls with big butts. He should work on his enunciation again, but I hate to sound like Paula, so let’s just forget it. His stage presence is good, he doesn’t seem like a phony, he’s got good style. I think the sound was bad, I don’t think he was singing quiet, but they should turn up his mic. Or maybe I just want to like Bucky because he’s nice. And because Mary Katharine loves him so.
REWATCH: I really like his rasp. And I enjoyed this a lot. Maybe he’s just picking it up. What? He’s married? I guess I didn’t remember that.
IDOLS 02… Ace – “We Will Rock You”. Everyone is loving on Freddy Mercury tonight. Especially Ace and Ryan. Queen: “I don’t think we’re gonna play your arrangement.” They’ve gotta be dying thinking Ace is gonna butcher their song with a hi-hat. Oh my pain. Aaaaaaand there’s the falsetto. I’ll say this: The first phrase of every verse was good. After that: Major Suck. Wow. I told Frank that if Ace did falsetto anywhere in this song, I was sending him anthrax in the mail. Start ironing your mail, Ace! Um… if you get anthrax in the mail, it’s not me, ok? I promise. Just alright for Randy. Paula: You bastardized it, but hey, way to go taking a risk. That was brave. Simon: Complete and utter mess. Maybe Simon is off Paula’s drink now? We’ll see after Kellie. Randy: Simon’s right, I was trying to be kind. Ryan: Ace, did Queen make you uncomfortable? Ace: No, Ryan, you’re cool.
REWATCH: I just LOVE his interaction with Queen! They just cringed at what he wanted to do. LOVE IT! Ok yeah, sucked the 2nd time too. I didn’t even notice the microphone carry the first time. That makes it even funnier.
[DID HELL FREEZE OVER? DIDN’T THINK SO]… Kellie – “Bohemian Rhapsody” – I’m SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT! SUCK, KELLIE, SUCK GOOD! Ok, first off, Queen is like, “That’s a brave idiot there. We love her! Rah rah!”
Wow. I just couldn’t even write during that. I couldn’t have hoped for more from this train wreck. BEST. SUCK. EVER! From the moment she arrived on stage looking like Elvira meets Billy Idol, Frank and I were laughing our butts off. Ok, Hellie, lemme just tell you… Mary Kay has some great moisturizers, including this green eye gel that works on the bags under the eyes. It works, believe me, I have it. And if you’re gonna go for the naughty leather minx look, you should just go all out and get the leather jeans too. And what’s with the wig? She has pretty hair, but if that’s her real hair, it has become roadkill.
I couldn’t have laughed harder at this performance, so it couldn’t have been worse, nor better. I almost want to vote for her for delivering soooooo like UPS: horribly damaged, as expected. LOL, the dog just got so annoyed that she left us, walked to the tile floor, grunted, and lay down facing away from us. Anyway. Wow, um, just wow. I can’t even… I’m like bowing at the TV set declaring my undying love for Kellie for coming through for me in the biggest way possible. Let’s see what the judges say… OKAY, I SWEAR TO YOU, ALL THREE JUDGES ARE SLEEPING WITH HER! I thought it was just Simon, but this has changed my mind, it’s all of them. It is crowded in Kellie’s bed. Poor Katharine.
REWATCH: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THANK YOU KELLIE!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! THE HAIR GRAB WAS JUST ICING ON A HORRIBLY PERFECT CAKE! Oh, the stilletto boots. Perfectly Single White Trash Female. And I sooooooooooooooooo love that fantastically virgin knee-squat. Beautiful. Sniff Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
IDOLS 04… Chris is doing “Innuendo”. They’ve never done it live. Queen loves him. Chris is the only one they’ve actually complimented for real. Ok, and we see the view from the top of Chris’s head. Chris is wearing way more eyeliner than he’s ever worn, and that’s making me really uncomfortable. He’s even got his brows penciled dark, and I’m scared. Stop it, Chris, stop it. No wait, I don’t mean the singing, I mean the makeup. Stop the madness. Chris’s wife is in the audience, and I think that’s the first time we’ve seen her since the audition. Yeah, I’m voting for him, not the song. Simon just has a stick up his butt about Chris, and will as long as he does better than Simon’s first love (Kellie, not Ryan).
REWATCH: It was still great, I’m still disturbed by the eyebrows and eyeliner. Woo. I missed that high note at the end. Bravo. Bravo.
IDOLS 05… Katharine is singing “Who Wants to Live Forever”, which is not the song she rehearsed with the band. She’s got that whole backlit thing going on like Bo had when he did the a capella song. Ok, I’ve gotta give Katharine the props. She finally took risks and held notes for longer than half a second like I knew she could. And with Mandisa gone, Katharine is vocally the best female left (hands down). Wow, are there only 3 girls left? Katharine, Paris, Kellie… well, 3 unless you count Ace. She doesn’t look completely retarded, and I actually only have 1 wardrobe critique for her: I would have worn the belt down on the hips. Red is good, though. This was the best Katharine’s been in a long time. If she keeps this up, I’ll catch the McPheever.
REWATCH: A little pitchy at times, but I’m just so happy she finally stopped being safe. She tends to screech the long notes, but I’m still on board tonight. Let’s just hope she keeps this up and doesn’t revert to boring. Yay!
IDOLS 06… Dangit, I just voted for Elliott meaning to vote for Katharine. I hope Elliott’s not boring tonight, or I just gave him a free vote. (It’s great watching it Tivo’d because I can vote as soon as they’re done singing.) Anyway, I voted for Katharine for reals this time. Ok, here’s Elliott. My third favorite Jooo. Oh darn, I’m gonna get called a racist for mentioning the J-word. No wait, 4th favorite (Jesus, Lair, Roger, then Elliott). He’s wearing brown, ok, I’m happy with my vote. “Somebody to Love”. ELLIOTT! DID YOU AND CHRIS GO TO THE BEAUTY SHOP TOGETHER???? TOO MUCH MAKEUP!!!! Anyway, EASILY the best performance of the night. Oh, thank you, Elliott! Wow, I was hoping for not boring, and he was fantastic. Seems incredibly hard to sing, and he was outstanding. I’m so happy! I’ve been waiting for him to not be boring, and he came through! Yay!
REWATCH: LOL at the makeup. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? The singing? Great the 2nd time around too. Still the best of the night, by far. Kudos.
IDOLS 07… Taylor. “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”. Ok, the first 2/3 of the song, I was ready to drop him, thinking what a freaking disappointment he’s become. The last 1/3, though, hooked me. That was perfect Taylor, and I’m back on the bandwagon. I must say… the thing where he tried to kick over the microphone and failed? High-Larious. The 2nd kick to make it go over played well. Taylor’s a good recoverer. Anyway, by the end, I’m happy and remembering why Taylor was one of my favorites.
REWATCH: He’s wearing the right clothes tonight. And again, I only like the last third, but it’s enough to get the vote. Paula has her only good line all season: “I don’t know whether we should give you a record deal or a straight jacket.” Simon asks if Taylor is drunk, and after Kellie, I could ask Simon the same thing.
IDOLS 08… Paris. Sigh Just hearing Paris’s name, I miss Mandisa. BTW, Ryan’s funny in slo-mo. He Rarrs like Chomps. But he’s not like Kellie retarded in slo-mo. Because wow, freeze-frame Kellie is the bomb, baby! “The Show Must Go On”. Queen loves her. A’ight. When you have pudge and teeny fat rolls, you DO NOT GO ON STAGE IN TIGHT SPANDEX OVER YOUR TUMMY! BAD BAD BAD! I HAVE FAT! I DON’T WEAR SPANDEX! Anyway, the song. For some reason, she’s reminding me of ‘NSYNC. I don’t know why, because I LOVE them, and she hasn’t done anything for me since early early on. Blah. I thought it was forgettable, other than the clothing. Frank liked it, but he likes her and not Katharine.
REWATCH: 🙁 Hubby just went to bed without me so I can rewatch. I’m sad, because we always go to bed together. I did tell him that per my new schedule, we go to bed at 11 on Tuesdays, but he didn’t listen. Wah. Oh yeah, Paris. Yawn. Queen loves her. Lemme be objective and not bitter due to her being here while Mandisa is at home eating bon bons like me. Ok, honestly, she’s good except for when she does the “yeah, hey hey” bit. Then I’m out, because that’s a very Joey Fatone bit, and I’ve seen it in Dallas and El Paso before ‘NSYNC disbanded, so now I’m bored. She can sing the big long notes, I will give her that. Whew, look at that diamond on my finger. What were we talking about?
In order of vocals (s get one vote, s get two votes):
Elliott
Katharine** (both me – she’s never done anything for Frank, and I don’t get that. I think just because she stopped being safe, I’m going to vote twice for her anyway.)
Chris**
Taylor**
Bucky**
Paris (Frank. I’m just over her. He still thinks she’s great. I can’t wait for her to be gone.)
Ace (yeah right)
Kellie (thank you so much, mwah!)
Oh yeah. Predictions. Bottom 3: Bucky, Ace, Paris. Ace is gone.
Good gravy. you really, REALLY hate her. Not that i didnt realise it untill now its just… Wasnt her performance punishment enough? I mean, if it hurt that bad to hear from hundreds of miles away through the tv… imagine the pain of having that racket spewing from your own body. It could kill a man.
…Or woman.
Whatever.
-S
bucky-bad bad bad karaoke-get lost.
ace-perhaps the worst AI performance in history–he’s not fit to air out freddie’s spandex. go ahead–pick a song that is played in every single stadium in the world–have you ever heard a cover of that song, cause i sure haven’t. it’s ALWAYS the original–for a reason.
kellie-should be a train wreck, but for some freaky reason i really liked it
chris-u should be ashamed to be so guttless-if you can’t take on a freddie song on queen night, you mine as well go home and darn your mama’s socks
katherine–B-O-R-I-N-G. hot, but B-O-R-I-N-G.
elliot–one. trick. pony. ‘nough said.
taylor–started off bad, but ended strong–though not much better than good karaoke
paris–huh? she couldn’t rock in a quarry
my favorite was kellie–i’m ashamed to admit it, but it’s true
cadet, i no longer have respect for you.
BRETT! It is not “Ace.” It’s Brett.
Anyways, yeah, he’ll be gone this week. And hopefully Paris next week.
So you hate Kellie Pickler, eh? Did you know that Glenn “The Puppy Blender” Reynolds wrote a book?
behold–the power of lowered expectations! on the rewatch i could have done without the wink, and without the sour notes when she was strutting behind the judges, but i have to admit it–it was the best of the night!
the Blender Book is already on our coffee table.
and Kevin, get off the crack! it was by far the most disgusting!
this is really really geeky — but, NMU’s comment reminded of red dwarf when rimmer tells lister that his nickname in school was “ace” and lister responds: “Get out of town! Your nickname was never “Ace!” Maybe “Ace-hole.””
Okay you two, stop the snarking!!
Here’s my take:
Bucky-My hunny and I LOVE this (Fat Bottom Girls) song and I think he did it justice.
Ace- Better than the last two weeks but I still hate him.
Kellie-Freaky lighting, hair, clothes and performance adds up to….yuck.
Chris-Great rock performance, but wish he had picked a better song (and the eyeliner was very distracting).
Katherine-Boring and pitchy. Yawn.
Elliott-Just okay but I like him.
Taylor-I’ll be glad when he can pick from songs more suited to his style, this was mediocre.
Paris-Best performance she has had since Midnight Train to Georgia. But who picks her clothes??
I think Katherine will go home tomorrow.
This was the funniest AI rundown ever! I was laughing my head off!
I’m going to try to catch some bootleg youtube posts of this, but I have to say beforehand that having a Queen night was very challenging for these folks. Even with the band there, it is very difficult to capture the spirit, attitude, and most of all the power of Freddie. Kudos for some that they picked reather difficult songs to stretch, but you also have to know what is doable live, and what is beetter left in the studio. Case in point, “Innuendo””. An amazing song, but there is a good reason why the band had not played it in another setting.
I still look forward to seeing the train wreck, and “The Show Must Go On” should be very interesting.
SarahK, I hope ou have since taken a listen to the original version of “Innuendo,” it is an amazing song, and should be heard in it’s original context as God had intended. I hop this doesn’t mean Mark Burnett is thinking about reprising his “find a new lead singer” show like he did with INXS.
Heh heh. “Ace-hole.” That’s awesome. I’ll bet it’s the same situation with him in real life.
BRETT’S FRIEND: Dude, how did you get all of America to think people actually call you that? No one calls you that!
BRETT: I call myself that. How awesome am I?
I voted for Katharine 30 times, I was trying to vote for Taylor and thought that was his number.
Wow, I got that preview list, so my expectations were set well in advance. I was surprised through out the night.
BTW – Was I the only one to rewind my DVR and note that Mandisa attended the Queen performance. I would love to hear her pick and performance with them.
Bucky – I thought Randy was right on. It was good, better than karaoke, but not as Simon put it later, “a moment”. However, excellent song choice for him.
Ace – Better than expected, but I wasn’t expecting much. Essentially, I managed to listen to the entire performance without having to hit mute. I’ll chalk it up to the band and not the vocal.
Pickle – Give her credit for picking songs about that tell the story of her life. Last week, “Fancy” and this week “Bohemian Rhapsody”. I’ll buy that she sings from the heart when she sings, “Nothing really matters, anyone can see” (I bought that she wouldn’t let momma down in becoming a tramp). More props for cutting the lines, “I’m just a poor (girl) nobody, loves me” cause you could just see Vote for the Worst replying, “we will not let you go”. I hate Vote for the Worst…
Chris – I hated it. I hated it, because I really thought he should have just out classed the rest of them, and what I got was a few refrains that I could make out and then mumbling between them. Freddy could belt out songs and still be understood clearly. Anyway, it was so average that I hated it. I wonder if he would have been better with “I Want It All”. (Note – If Queen says your awesome, that’s high praise… don’t let them down).
Kat – This was definitely the best Queen song for her. I use to think Kat was in the same class as Chris and Mandisa. Well, she’s close, but while the song was the right choice; I think it was “too big for her”. Oh well, there is still Broadway.
Elliot – I never liked his tone. He sings well, but his tone is like nails to the chalkboard to me (or Country music to Simon). I think technically it was good, and maybe one of the better vocals of the night. I still wouldn’t buy his music.
Taylor – If he makes it to the top 5, and he should; he better start thinking about how bad he wants this. His performance was good enough to avoid being at the bottom, but it was average enough that he doesn’t deserve the top spot. Loved the double kick.
Paris – Still not my type of vocalist, but good job. Without Mandisa, I’m with Frank with Paris being top female vocalist (I was for Kat until she went for the top bar and fell short). Sarah, you can disagree, but Frank and I have Queen on our side (well, AI really never showed us what Queen thought of Kat.
Bottom three guess –
Ace, Kat/Paris, Elliott with Ace having a “Bad Day”
I STILL say that reading this stuff is way better than the show.
I was looking forward to Mandisa singing “Somebody to Love” as that would have been memorable. As it was, no one did very well – most even screwed up song choice badly.
Bucky – didn’t catch it, but would get a good laugh from his take on “Bicycle Race” or “Killer Queen”;
Ace – that isn’t a song for a singing competition, should have sung “Don’t Try Suicide”;
Kellie – I pulled a muscle laughing. Should have sung “Death on Two Legs”;
Chris – Why not “Hammer to Fall”, “Now I’m Here” or “Keep Yourself Alive”? (oh yeah, those weren’t ’90s songs);
Katharine – Would really have liked to see her do “Body Language” or “Las Palabras de Amor”;
Elliot – didn’t have the passion that song called for – should have tried “Let Me Entertain You” or, to show a really different side “’39”;
Taylor – why do a song that’s been done into the ground and back again? Should have been “Save Me”, “Under Pressure” or “Need Your Loving Tonight”;
Paris – only performer I voted for – would have done better with “Love of My Life”.
American Idle…meh. I’ll watch when they get someone who can belt out anything by Judas Priest, Kamelot, Bruce Dickinson, Ronnie James Dio or Nevermore. Takes big brass ones to sing old school metal.
Other than Chris, this whole season is a disaster. I mean, really, Taylor? Elliot? Please.
And, what is wrong with this Pickler girl, that she feels she must interrupt everyone who talks to her to say something purposely stupid? What’s a minx? What’s a ballsy? What’s paper? Does she really think that’s cute?
I just read “Son of Bob’s comment and it hit me…
THE PICKLE IS DEAF.
That explains why she can’t understand people, even when they clearly articulate. It explains why she interrupts other people who are talking. Most of all, it explains why she is pitchy.