When I saw on the news that people were marching in Los Angeles and waving Mexican flags, my first reaction was, “Oh no! The Mexicans are invading! Where is the national guard to shoot all these people?”
It ends up, though, that this was allowed since it was considered “free speech.” That’s crazy. Free speech is for Americans, and these people were holding Mexican flags and thus declaring their allegiance with Mexico. Anyone who waves a foreign flag in America is obviously declaring war on us and must be shot.
“What about St. Patrick’s Day?” you might ask.
Well, obviously not on that day, but any other day a foreign flag means war against America, and the people possessing the flags or near them must be shot before we get all invaded. As we learned from Iraq, it’s hard to root out people once they’re hidden in a society.
“But isn’t waving a foreign flag just showing a little cultural pride?” you might say.
That’s extra crazy! If someone is so proud of a country, then go there and wave its flag. If those people were so proud of Mexico, why don’t they just go back to Mexico and improve it so it’s someplace everyone doesn’t want to flee from. The people marching here waving Mexican flags obviously have no pride in Mexico since they fled that country and want to declare war on us out of frustration.
“What about Jews with Israeli flags to show support of that country? Should we shoot them?”
Of course not. Jews have a Zionist conspiracy and will shoot you right back. Use some common sense. I doubt the Mexicans have any such conspiracy or they wouldn’t need to flee their country for below minimum wage jobs.
Then again, it could be the biggest conspiracy ever!
“How about Cubans in Florida and all their flags?”
That’s a completely different situation. Those people are refugees since their country went all Commie. Don’t you have any sympathy for the plight of others?
“Well, what about Puerto Ricans?”
Puerto Rico is part of America, dumbass… or, at least I think it is. Anyway, do some research before shooting anyone.
“This sounds like white supremacy propaganda.”
That’s ignorant. If my stance was “shoot Latinos,” that’s what I’d title this piece. I’m for shooting anyone of any race waving foreign flags in America. If there are any white people waving Mexican flags, I’d shoot them too. Actually, I’d shoot them first because that is kinda suspicious.
“What about shooting people at Italian restaurants? Those usually have Italian flags.”
The mob usually handles shooting those places up, so I wouldn’t worry about it.
“Then how about Mexican restaurants?”
Not if they’re any good. Do you know how hard it is to find good Mexican food where I live in Florida?
“Should Americans waving American flags in foreign countries be shot?”
Don’t be stupid. Everyone in the world should have pride in America; the only reason the world is not all exploded is because of us. Anyone who shoots someone with an American flag should be shot and also all those around the person should be shot.
“What if someone is in America and holding a foreign flag to burn it?”
Again, use common sense. Burning a foreign flag in America is completely acceptable. But, if you see someone waving a foreign flag and you call him on it and he pulls out a lighter and says, “I was just about to burn it,” that person is both foreign and a liar and should be shot twice.
“What caliber should we be shooting people with?”
Now you’re just asking dumb questions; use whatever is available.
“Hey, don’t yell at me. I’m just your own Socratic method of having a conversation with yourself.”
You’re stupid. On second thought, don’t shoot anyone because I don’t think you’re responsible enough to handle a gun. Instead, just break the kneecaps of anyone with a foreign flag using a baseball bat. The point is, America is a great country with a nice flag, and we don’t want people marching around here with their foreign flags declaring war on us. That’s just common sense, and this country could use more common sense and more shooting people with foreign flags.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as “If Immigrants Are Good for America, Then Why Are They So Illegal?” and “The Big Book of Legal Defenses for Shooting Someone (Bonus: Defense Ideas for Having Used this Book as a Murder Weapon)”.
// “What about St. Patrick’s Day?” you might ask.
Well, obviously not on that day,//
LOL!!! Of course not, that’s what Whacking Day is for.
I’m sure the illegals marching in LA to legalize their illegality was all done in good fun!
BTW, why weren’t these guys at work?
“If there are any white people waving Mexican flags, I’d shoot them too. Actually, I’d shoot them first because that is kinda suspicious.”
LOL! Hey, I think I saw Moore with a mexican flag, but he may have been just using it as a hankie…
The Immigration protests were very effective. Before, 70% of Americans were opposed to illegal immigrants. Now, it’s probably 80% or 90%! Well done! Or should I say, “Bueno!”
What should I do if I see someone waving a white flag?
Chris,
Surrender is a foreign concept, so that counts.
Surrender is a foreign concept, so that counts.
That makes sense, they were yelling something in French as they were waving the flag. I Babelfished what they were yelling at me; by my best recollection, it looks like I rule France now. It’ll be on eBay within a week.
Chris:
Obviously they are French and should be shot on principle alone.
Also, on the subject of flags, I visited my cousin in the northern city Detroit (who is a born Filipino), and — hanging prominently behind his bed — was a huge honkin’ Confederate flag. That was all sorts or weird that I had no idea what to think or feel.
Actually Chris, although it would be entirely likely that the white flag-waiver would be French, the waiver might also might be a Democratic presidential candidate. So, best to check first before shooting, as one should be shot on principle, while the other should just be given an interview on Larry King and left to make a fool of himself (or herself).
“That’s extra crazy! If someone is so proud of a country, then go there and wave its flag. If those people were so proud of Mexico, why don’t they just go back to Mexico and improve it so it’s someplace everyone doesn’t want to flee from.”
EXACTLY!
It’s one thing to be proud of your heritage. My wife is proud of her Korean half, (let’s face it, half-asian women just look great) and I love the food too, but I wave American flags.
I’ll do the first bid! They owe us a fair bit for ProtoHitler (better known as Napoleon).
Sorry, but GoldenPalace already made me an offer. Turns out France is shaped just like the Virgin Mary grilled cheese.
Next country I get, I’ll give you first bid if I don’t want it.
This may be of interest:
Personalize your mobile phone with your view on immigration. Make your opinion known, pick the image that makes YOUR statement on this important issue facing the nation. Show where you stand.
Go to: Show My Opinion (For T-Mobile, Cingular, and AT&T phones).
We’ll tabulate the results and report on how people across the nation view the immigration issue.