So I guess Obama is now the Democrat nominee or something. Apparently this was part of the speech he gave last night:
“We will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth.”
Is that another “For the first time in my adult life, I’m proud of my country” moment? It really seems like he thinks more of himself that he does the country. Where did all this unearned pride come from? Is there something about him I don’t know? Like does he make this really good omelette that afterwards he’s like, “Wow. That omelette couldn’t be any better. It was absolutely perfect. I should run this country.”
Point is, the dude needs a reality check.
Well, now he’ll have to spend his nights wondering if the noise outside he hears is Hillary finally coming to get him. It isn’t. When Hillary comes to get you, you won’t hear a thing until your neck snaps.
this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow
Dude.
He is obviously much greater than King Canute.
Let’s make him our ruler.
Let’s not, V.
“When Hillary comes to get you, you won’t hear a thing until your neck snaps.”
Hehehe.
Actually the sound is John McCain reaching across the aisle with his walker.
Wasn’t all that a line from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome or something?
Uppity negro!
I’m Barack Obama, and I say to you Republican Losers, homos and other assorted mamas boys and queers of all colors; Bite Me! Ok, so bring your video, bitches! What are you gonna do after that? Sic John McCain after me…sorry while I laugh my skinny ass off! I’ll just send out one of my daughters to kick this old man in the stones and we can move on to me running the country!
Obama for POTUS, hope and change you can count on for the future!
McCain is Bush Lite who will sodomize your women and children and make your men into homosexuals…please keep this campaign positive and about the issues for the good of our children!
I saw a few snippits of Obama’s speech from last night on the news this morning…I can’t stomach to watch the whole thing. The one line that I heard him say and wrote down this morning that I found particularily offensive was this:
“What you won’t hear from this campaign or this party is the kind of politics that uses religion as a wedge, and patriotism as a bludgeon – that sees our opponents not as competitors to challenge, but enemies to demonize.”
Patriotism as a bludgeon!?! Comparing the terrorists to “opponents as competitors to challenge”!?! Also, if you go to the Obama website (which I did with great hesitation, by the way) you can read the transcript of the speech, in which you can find the word “change” about 40 gazillion times (slight exaggeration).
So….they nominated a socialist.
and not to be outdone, the Democrats nominated a Communist.
You left out the part of the speech where he said he would raise the dead, turn water into gasoline, and poop rainbows.
#8 Master Shake
poop rainbows.
Technically, he poops moonbeams which in daylight appear as rainbows.
Master Shake,
Raise the dead indeed. He’s gonna need the traditionally Democrat Illinois Deceased to propel him into the Whitey, I mean, White House.
You left out the most important part:
“This was the moment we cleansed the white scourge from this cracker nation.”
He’s totally channeling Babylon 5…
http://chronology.org/noframes/b-five/monologues.html
I really liked the part of his speech where he said:
“I’ve worked with friends in the other party to provide more children with health insurance and more working families with a tax break to curb the spread of nuclear weapons…”
and the crowd went wild!
Technically, he poops moonbeams which in daylight appear as rainbows.
My mistake. I probably missed one of the many clarifying statements he made after the speech. I stopped paying attention after the one where he explained that he meant “exterminate the crackers and feed their shredded corpses to our oppressed lobster brothers” in a good, hopey-change way.
The only thing official is that this campaign is now like Pinky and the Brain:
“One of them’s a moron, the other one’s insane”
What a naive pretentious little Pr@#*. If he had half a brain he would have said “When we look back, this will be seen as the exact moment I signed my own death warrant.” It would be tuff enough for a qualified black male to get elected. This racist communist isnt going to make it.
Obama, huh? I just got a raise at work. I guess I should enjoy it while I can, because half my check will soon be going toward social programs for welfare crack addicts.
And they will write legends of the Nineteen Tasks of the mighty Obamacles;
Of how he diverted the Mississippi River to short out Dick Cheney’s weather-control satellite control room,
Of how he uncovered the lost scrolls containing Judas Iscariot’s Secret Family Bean Dip Recipe, said to be the very bean dip served at the Last Supper, in which Judas dipped his bread alongside the Lord rather than wait his turn, because it was that good, and with that recipe ended world hunger.
Of how he defeated the leader of the Amazons Michelle Malkin, in single combat using a clever improvised booby trap consisting of a paper clip and some duct tape.
Of how he slew the lion of the Nebraska State Zoo by strangling it with his bare hands.
Of how he joined with the Earth Liberation Front to enhance public awareness of global warming by setting off underwater landslides and shooting rockets into storm clouds (or maybe I’m getting that confused with the plot of Crichton’s State of Fear)
When Hillary comes to get you, you won’t hear a thing until your neck snaps.
Well, that and the squishy sound of your eyeballs being torn out of your head so they can be devoured.
Did #15 call my name?
Ah… No. More like this Barocky, baby:
(Okay, I was limited by his poor sentence structure.)
I’m Hillary Clinton and nothing has been decided until I tell everyone what and when it has been decided! I’m going to hang around for awhile and wait for this skinny ass uppity negro to melt down (we have dirt and we’re going to use it soon) and then all of you will be crawling back to me me me as you look for a new candidate for POTUS. I shall demand much from you and after I get it all I will run and I will defeat that ninkompoop that the Republicans nominated and then I shall rule America, for now. When I’m asked to eventually run the world, I shall be forced to take that job…and I will be asked! Muhahahahahahahahahah!!!!!
I’m John McCain and my friends, I would just like to say that I respect Mrs. Clinton for her fine campaign against Baroque Obamo. She has extended her hand from across the aisle and said “I’d like to give you a hand” and ah, oh… ah… oh ooo asss whoooo ah oh ah eh skanz a rantz a tanz a
http://uwnews.org/article.asp?articleID=42067
Umm, yeah. So even the ULTRA-libs at U. Washington are having second thoughts about bio-fuels. Apparently they F*** up the planet, or something.
Good thing I’ve been holding out on buying that ethanol guzzling GMC pickup. Wouldn’t want to melt ice caps AT THE END OF AN ICE AGE!
So can we drill in AK, now, or what?
Obama’s not black! He grew up in Hawaii for petes’ sake, he’s just evenly tanned! He just looks black compared to John McCain who last night, under the spotlights, looked so white he bordered on transparent! If he’d torn open his shirt I bet you could have seen his heart beating through his ribcage. He looked like a skeleton wrapped in waxed paper. He looked like a ghost eating soda crackers in a snowstorm! He looked like a snowman covered with angel food cake frosting and coconut flakes! I can’t deal with reality right now so I’ve escaped into my happy place. It’s so pretty here … did someone make a speach?
Funny #25, 4 of 7 (is that like buy 1 get 2, buy 2 get 3, buy 3 get 5…?)
You’ve started something that needs to be fed to Frank or Harvey for further IMAO research:
“McCain is so white that:”
* He doesn’t need a flashlight to see the blood in his hands.
* When it’s snowing, he looks like the snowman.
* His wife has to use double the bleach on his undershirts. (Surely McCain wears colored boxers!)
* Military researchers are investigating his biochemistry to build an arctic cloaking device.
Actually, the guy who transcribed the speech had some hearing difficulties. In reality, Obama’s speech was actually as follows:
“We will be able to look out of our burkas and request from our overlord masters that we be allowed to speak. If our masters temporarily grant us such freedom, we will request to visit our children, to tell them how this was the moment we were no longer able to treat the sick, and all able-bodied citizens were ordered to the work camps. This was the moment when mortals who claimed to possess God-like power over the planet took control of our lives, only to imprison us by being too cowardly to fight a just war and secure our nation, fearfully appeasing other countries and guaranteeing our last days on earth were hopelessly near.”
That’s IT 4 of 7 – I’ve lost bladder control!!!!
“This is the moment…”
was there an incarnation I missed?
But McCain being so white is the better man to save the Polar Bears. They even growl the same waay on occasion.
I think he left out the part where the dead would rise from the graves, the lame would walk. the blind would see and cancer would be cured.
I have a decently high opinion of myself, but I bow to the master here. Hillary might think she’s God, but the Obamamessiah knows that he is.
Hey B.O….. FTD is calling…they want to buy the flowers that bloom out of your ass!
You forgot the part right before the quote. He started with “Generations from now,”
In about one generation from now, I will be dead. At that point, people will probably not be able to hear me, except Whoopee Goodberg. Maybe I will be able to make stuff move, like pennies, to convince people I’m there.
He’s so white…
He looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy with anemia.
He glows in the dark when he eats wintergreen mints.
Albinos say, “Daaaammnn!”
His wife keeps checking the expiration date on the carton of milk at breakfast because after waking up next to him it looks grey.
His bodyguards wear dark glasses to protect themselves from snow-blindness.