Making Conservatives Less Angry

In my latest Pajamas Media column, I give advice on how to make conservatives less angry.

13 Comments

  1. You forgot a common one, Frank:

    Call them Nazis. Nothing works better than completely rewriting history as a matter of public policy. It calms everybody down! When conservatives throw historical fact in your face, just say “Nazi !!”

  2. Now Frank, if they do as you suggest and call us racists, and point out how smart they are, and we get calmed down, what are me and the mob supposed to do? Did ya think of that Frank? When we can’t be angry we are no longer a mob, now we become just another quilting bee. So what? Are we just supposed to go back to work? Go play golf? I don’t know, I am just a stupid conservative after all. Help us Frank!!

  3. Have Conservatives stand on their head, that way, their angry frowns will turn to smiles.
    Have Congress pass a Law declaring this to be ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ Biennial
    Promise Conservatives Free Guns, Ammo, and Bibles, but more ‘important’ Legislation comes first.(Like Time-Out Camps for Angry Conservatives)
    Have O-bah-muhh do a ‘Happy Thought Of The Day’ Press Release every day,’til 2010 Elections. Liberals will know if this worked after the Elections.
    When encountering an Angry Conservative, immediately assume the Lotus Position, and begin the Moktar Stealth Chant until achieving invisibility.

  4. Hopefully fark doesn’t link this one.

    On a side note, there is a story on fark about the link between insanity and being artsy creative. All the fark commenters are having a frank discussion about how their medications are missing with their creativity. It is the only serious thread I have ever seen on Fark.

  5. Of course lib’s could always remove the cancer of humanoid life form from the planet and return it to it’s pre-homo sapien glory…but only if they promise to go first. That might make some people happy ……..but not me.

    I just love people. (don’t make it weird)

  6. Now you need to come up with a plan on how not to make your 2 radical left wing commenters at Pajamas Media less angry. But I guess if they didn’t get angry with your articles, then I guess you wouldn’t be doing your job.

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