Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Why did the Department of Homeland Security order a bagpipe?
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Why did the Department of Homeland Security order a bagpipe?
…for use as an enhanced interrogation technique.
…It makes more noise and is scarier than Joe’s shotgun
Why not? They’ve ordered everything else.
…The State Department already had all the accordians
All they need is the pipe.
…because Obama thought is was some new kind of bong.
…cause if Napolitano was gonna look like a man in a dress, she might as well sound like one too.
It was Bush’s fault. Or the sequester (which of course, is also Bush’s fault).
…cause the American dream had already been kilt.
For when they shoot an expensive, bad parody of Wrath of Khan.
Cause nothing says “drone” like a bagpipe.
I’m not sure, but it has something to do with the weapon the government built in “Atlas Shrugged.”
Why not? They’ve ordered everything else.
(Actually, it looks like Customs and Border Protection is getting a 14 or 15 member pipe and drum band, which won’t be the worst use of the tax payers money; I once ordered $2,000.00 worth of shop towels when I couldn’t think of anything else to order and the LT said we gotta use all money or it’ll get cut. That method should have gone away with slide rules.)
A brazen attempt to recruit the Loch Ness Monster to patrol the coastline.
It was a joke. “Heck, Ron. They’ll never approve this expense. OH CRAP! They did!”
…for blowing hot air
They meant to cross off “howitzer” and put in “pizza oven”, but some practical joker got to the form first.
(Okay, really dated M*A*S*H reference, but still…)
In case they need to summon the Dead Men of Dunharrow.
Because GSA was all out of fish bicycles. Duh!
Because it is more effective than waterboarding.
Because they hate music.
Because the Republicans took the high road, so they’ll take the low road.
@CCD #13 – Drudge got hold of this and posted it Yesterday morning. By a little after 8:00 AM the order was already cancelled. I posted it as http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/dhs-acquires-enhanced-interrogation-technology/ at OTB. Since a lot of larger law enforcement units have bagpipes corps for funerals I suspect that was the intended purpose. I wonder if they were expecting a lot more losses of agents in the near future. As far as I know the most dangerous area would likely be border control to the south.
…because Janet wasn’t enough of a windbag.
Why did the Department of Homeland Security order a bagpipe?
They mean to win Wimbeldon!
Because stealing one would be wrong.
It went with the 5,000 tons of Haggis they’ve been hoarding.
Let us just say Airline passengers are going to be begging for the Pat-Down search from now on.
Spend it or lose it!
It was for a not so clever ploy to infiltrate Al-Qaeda.
The store was out of Ammo.
Bagpipes can be quickly converted into Semi-Automatic Assault rifles in 3 easy steps.
Because one burr can get rid of a lot of Hamiltons.
Because the TSA needed new fun bags to grope.
Because their expecting a lot of funerals?
(Okay, I lost it a #4.)
To scare away Illegal Immigrants at the border to make them think the ghost of William Wallace is after them….but it doesnt work, they think its Mel Gibson so they come even faster across hoping to get a free alcoholic drink.
Because they already have a Barney Fife and Drum Corps.
…when they heard about the Secret Service Hooker scandal they wanted their own chance to squeeze, blow, and finger something at the taxpayer’s expense.
There will be a funeral for America as we know it, and they’re going to keep to tradition by playing the pipes.
Because . .. look! SKIRL!
So people would quit asking why they’re hoarding ammo.
Well, it already blows, it might as well be annoying, too.
Because they were told to conduct clan-destined operations.
Because illegal immigrants have been getting away Scot-free.
Because they were told that so many illegals had invaded our country that it is time to pay the piper.
To see if it will make it through airport security.
So Obama could say “That’s not my wife, that’s a bagpipe” when Harvey makes fun of Michelle for wearing plaid in public.
So Obama could say “That’s not my wife, that’s a bagpipe” during dinner.
So Obama could say “That’s not my wife, that’s a bagpipe” to the Secret Service banging on door during sex.
Because with 1.6 Billion bullets, someone has to be ready to play “Amazing Grace.”
…Big Sis’ Scottish Terrier died.
Because having to hear bagpipes playing is the only thing that could possibly make going through security in the airport any worse.
Because they have an infinite supply of hot air.
Well played, sir. Well played.
It was on back-order, they already got the other 999,999.
Because you have to buy the bagpipe to get the tapered reamer. Item: LI 017
And you thought airport security couldn’t get any worse.
Why did the Department of Homeland Security order a bagpipe?
Honesty compels us to admit, it did come with a set of Ginzu Knives for free.
Because someone’s gonna get it for ordering too much Scotch!
actually, the bid was cancelled.
@Oppo, can’t you spel Sk Hey! look a Skw Hey! look a skwerl!
because they could only get 1/2 a bag in the pipe they had!
Napolitano said “This bag needs to get piped!” and someone misunderstood.
To pay the Piper.
That you even question this administration’s motives in anything they do is irrefutable proof that you, sir, are a racist.
……..so they can have Amazing Grace played at the death and funeral of the Constitution and Bill of Rights.
(Did Harvey really write this question, or did manatees construct it from idea balls?)
Actually it was a “Freebie” with every $2 trillion spent off the books.
And after reading all the other comments I got nothing except more wasteful spending.
First step in locking up all bagpipes.
Because they heard that in order to secure New York City, they had t secure Lung Highland Sound.
Because when Janet Napoleon-tano said she wanted to hear “Heil” and marching music, they thought she said Hiighland marching music.
Because: Amazing Grace. But Jimmy made a funny with it 🙂
because they think they can make us swallow anything
Because Obama’s mother’s side is descended from a long line of manky Scots gits.
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