Just noticed a sign on a pub door saying Guide Dogs Only. Possibly the most exclusive pub ever.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) April 9, 2013
New Parent Idea:1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest.2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he’s 10.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) April 9, 2013
Imagine how lame that one scene in “The Matrix” would have been if they’d needed background checks.
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) April 9, 2013
They had to edit Jurassic Park when Newman gets eaten bc every time after it the dinosaur would look at the camera & do the Jim Halpert face
— Rob Fee (@robfee) April 9, 2013
Warning: if your band has a person’s name, the singer will be called that forever #harveydanger #blondie #etc
— randall maynard (@randallmaynard) April 10, 2013
I don’t love Brad Paisley’s “Accidental Racist,” but it is slightly better than Mel Gibson’s “Intentional Jew-hater.”
— Joshua Malina (@JoshMalina) April 10, 2013