At work, I liked my health care plan… but it will no longer be available because of adjustments for Obamacare. I can not keep it.

I guess what Obama should have said, “If you like your health care plan, you can theoretically keep it… in some cases.”

Maybe as a compromise we should do that Starship Troopers thing where no one automatically gets citizenship.

The book; not the movie.

Whatever happened to Obama and “Win the Future.” Are we at that future and we already won it?

In the future, that rodeo clown will be known as our era’s greatest hero.

A good government would better protect us from our politicians’ incompetence.

In the future, everyone will be the frontrunner in the Republican presidential primary for 15 minutes.

Bob Filner supporters have to register themselves and you can go online to see if any live in your neighborhood.

try
{
GetCoke();
}
catch(IsPepsiOkay e)
{
GetMountainDew();
}

So I’m supposed to be motivated to get your gas station debit card for a $.06 a gal. savings? That’s less than a buck for a $50 fill up.

Why are people still using the same gas savings promotions from back when gas cost less than a $1.50 a gallon?

Just in case, Ted Cruz should renounce his Canadian citizenship. I’d love an opportunity to renounce a non-American citizenship.

“I renounce any Canadian citizenship. They’re a bunch of hockey-brained, American-wannabe moose-munchers.”