Americans trying to comprehend the stabbing crisis in the UK
“Why not just shoot them with your guns?”

Seems like all the focus on guns and knives is to avoid having to deal with the much more difficult root cause of violence that you have a bunch of people running around who for some reason want to stab and shoot people.

Don’t call Joe Biden “Creepy Uncle Joe.” That’s falling for a right-wing talking point. Instead call him “Gropey McHairSniffer.”

I got my KickStarter Bears Want to Kill You package from Ethan Nicolle! It wasn’t a scam! I have a softcover to show the kids and a fancy hardcover (and art) to keep their grubby hands away from.
I contributed some jokes for the book but Ethan Nicolle said they were so bad he didn’t use them and in fact he is now permanently less funny for having read them. Constructive criticism noted!

Million Dollar Idea: Give me a millions dollars, and I’ll tell it to you.

Genghis Khan, Ronald Reagan, and the planet Neptune are all part of a shared universe called “The Universe.”

Hey! Look! AOC did something hilariously stupid again!
chucks phone into the river

I think the minimum wage should be $0 an hour. No lower than that. No one should have to pay their employer to work.
Well, unless they want to. It’s a free country.

If I were a mad scientist, I think the first thing I’d make would be flying spiders. That would make them rue the day they crossed me!

My 8yo daughter just now: “Whatever job I get when I grow up, I want to be able to stay home a lot.”
And that’s why there’s a wage gap.

Let’s simplify this: Who is not running for president?

“You shouldn’t call people animals!”
Neil deGrasse Tyson twitches

The Pandemic Legacy board game is pretty thrilling. Win or lose, the board permanently changes and you keep moving on.
I unfortunately messed up our first game and didn’t know the rules were supposed to change halfway through (we played the whole game as regular Pandemic). We lost anyway. Beat January our second try (two tries per month) and aced February. Onto March!

I’ve thought about having bad opinions since good opinions don’t get enough attention on the internet.
Nope. Sorry. Can’t do it.

Enjoyed Mission Impossible Rogue Nation so much last weekend we’re going to watch Mission Impossible Fallout this weekend. Time to watch Tom Cruise jumping from stuff!

Being a member of the Impossible Mission Force sounds like a pretty sweet gig.
“Your mission, if you choose to accept it—“
“Decline.”
It’s government work, so you get paid the same whether you do anything or not.

“I’m you from 30 years in the future—2019. Ask me anything.”
“Where else have we gone in space?”
“Nowhere else.”
“Do people own robots?”
“Yes. They vacuum.”
“They do anything else?”
“Nothing else.”
“Well… what about video game systems?”
“They would blow your mind away.”
“Cool.”

My 3yo daughter wanted to play Frozen with me. She was going to be Princess Anna and I was to be the king.
She told me to go downstairs and die 🙁

The Christian concept of the soul is, morality-wise, a bit like humanity receiving alien technology thousands of years ago that we’re still trying to figure out. It’s the basis of much of western values — particularly human rights and the concept of equality.
There’s no logic to the idea that, at their core, all people are equal—certainly science and the concept of evolution don’t back that up. But it’s a Truth we as a society accept and is fundamental to how we interact.
The problem is we treat things like rights and equality as secular values, but fundamentally they are not. I wonder if they’ll last if the basis erodes. Of course, we don’t need to find that out.

Pretty much no game has used that IR sensor on the bottom of the right joy con, but I’m finding out from my daughter’s Nintendo Labo projects that it’s pretty powerful. It can even work as a video camera.

If it was really crummy service, I give a 20% tip based on the pre-tax total. And maybe I don’t round up a dollar.
Good, bad service — being a waiter is a job I would hate to do and I’m always just glad someone else is doing it.

I like how you can often tell who the Christian artists are because they are the ones who are relentlessly positive. I aim to be more Christian.

All of Bernie Sanders’s books were made in sweatshops. If anyone asked for more than ten cents an hour for gluing pages together, he’d beat them with a stick.

Remember when people used to be able to make coherent arguments instead of just mobbing and punishing anyone who disagreed with them?
Or maybe I’m just idealizing the past.

I fear a future where if you ask someone why racism is wrong, the only answer they’ll have is loud screaming.

The duty of each American is to keep idiots from getting power, but unfortunately the preferred method is to prop up some other idiot to try and get him or her power.

Trump’s Muslim ban wasn’t a Muslim ban but I can’t really get on people for calling it a Muslim ban since the one who first called it a Muslim ban was Trump, the big dummy.

Feels like more than tens years ago that I first saw Parks and Rec. I remember how my first child as a 1yo would stop whatever she was doing and start dancing whenever she heard the theme song. Once she was in the middle of crying and stopped instantly.

But who will cancel the cancellers?
Oh yeah. Each other.

If zombie Hitler rose from the grave, I’d hope the nation would unite to fight him, but people would probably be like “First we have to stop the Mexicans” or “Sure zombie Hitler is bad, but not as bad as someone who doesn’t like abortion!”