[High Praise! to Oppo]
A parody of anti-Trumpers in the style of “The Raven“)
Once upon a midnight dreary, watching pundits weakened, bleary,
Spew vain and furious volumes of what was not
While they yammered – merely yappers – suddenly there came Jake Tapper,
Who, as if gently hammered, clamored for a chamber pot.
“‘Tis some idiot,” I muttered, “clogging up my Channel Four –
Only this, and nothing more.”
Ah, distinctly I remember, 2016, in November,
As each separate crying temper tantrum threw them almost to the floor.
Eagerly I now relive it; – better than a large Glenlivet –
Vainly had they tried to pivot – give it to She-Tossed-Through-The-Door
She who voters should ignore, of whom the angels said No More –
Shameless then and evermore.
…
“Profit!” said they, “Thing of evil! – Profit is well earned by devils! –
Whether Tempter-sent, or tempest-tossed, wither on our shores!”
Democrats raved and ranted, thus deserted, massed and chanted –
On and on a story planted – and sedition got a bump;
Is it like the Iliad? – This Odyssey – this endless dump?
Quoth the raving: “NeverTrump.”
…
“Be that word our sign of parting, Bernie fiends!” I shrieked, upstarting –
“Get thee back into the tempest and the night’s Pelosian shore!
Leave no white guilt as a token of the lies thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my freeborn rights unbroken! – Quit my land forevermore!
Take thy candidates off the stump! Cease to treat me like a chump!”
Quoth the raving, “NeverTrump.”

There should be a distinction beyond mere “High Praise!” for such fine literature, a summa cum laude of satire, if you will.
Well done, indeed, sir!
I think quintuple bacon is basically our Congressional Medal of Honor
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