[High Praise! to Oppo]

Homebound (to the tune of “Homeward Bound” by Simon and Garfunkel)

I’m sittin in my parents’ basement
No particular destination
Mmm-mm-mm

Games and porn on my night-stand
Cheetoes and guitar in hand
And PhotoShop is on demand
For a know-it-all and one-man band

Home-bound
I wish I was
Underground
Home, where my ‘rents are paying
Home, where my music’s playing
Home, where my love-life’s failing
Incel-ently, like me

Every day’s an endless stream
Of sybarites and YouTube queens
Mmm-mm-mm
And each blog looks the same to me
The movies and their backstories
And every stranger’s post I see
Reminds me that I’m twenty-three

Home-bound
I wish I was in
Homer’s town
Home, where my ‘rents are paying
Home, where my music’s playing
Home, where my love-life’s failing
Xi-centric, rent-free

Tonight I’ll ping my songs again
I’ll play the games and pretend
But the outer world comes back to me
In shades of mediocrity
And emptiness, and finally
I need someone to come feed me

Home-bound
I wish I was
Fun to be around
Home, where my ‘rents are paying
Home, where my music’s playing
Home, where my love-life’s failing
Mentally — like me.