Flight diverted to Colorado Springs after service dog bites passenger on board
KRDO ^ | April 16, 2025 | Emily CoffeyAmerican Airlines has confirmed that a service dog incident caused a flight from Provo, Utah, to Dallas, Texas, to re-route and make an emergency landing in Colorado Springs.
When the female flight attendant refuses to give you extra peanuts say “So I guess a blow job is out of the question.”
Pro Tip: Don’t try that with a male flight attendant. It won’t be out of the question.
I tried that once with a hot female attendant except I wanted more pretzels, not peanuts.
Yell “Hi” to your friend Jack across the aisle.
Off assignment, but if the person bitten is a blue-haired lib, wouldn’t that be considered a service?
Tell the flight attendant that your carry-on contains a 6 oz tube of toothpaste, and you are prepared to use it.
… stare intensely at the mid-cabin door, mumbling,”I can’t remember if I tightened the bolts in this one…”
… or as Windbag said (4/18): “…in accordance to the ancient prophecies.”
Tell the pilot his wife and 2 of his girlfriends will be waiting at the gate for him at the scheduled destination, but they don’t know about each other… yet.
Take advantage of the window seat and use a magnifying glass to try to cook a jiffy-pop.
Other Creative Ways To Get a Plane To Divert: …
Eat at least 3 bowls of some home brewed pinto beans no more than 8 hrs. before flight. 🫘
Bring a tape of Biden speeches and threaten to set the volume to eleventy. They will divert.
(Speeches by Obama, Harris, Pelosi, Schumer, and Hillary are just as effective)
Or bring a tape of Booker’s Epic Filibuster. 🤣
hi
Tommy! Tommy Chong! Is that you?!
Tommy’s not here, man.
Tommy can you hear me? Can you feel me near you?…aaaaaand we’ve come full circle…
Wear a MAGA hat.
Tell ’em you plan to Nuke The Moon!
And they be like, “Nice try, guy. FrankJ tried that decades ago, and it didn’t work.”
And you be like, “Well, shoot! Then what do I do with this?” (Holds up cigarette box antimatter nuke that’s counting down in red LED timer… People scream…)
You tell ’em you’re a “nucular physicist” and you know what you’re doing with quantum mechanics, baby!
Mention to the cabin crew that it really is a treat to have both William Shatner and John Lithgow on the same plane.