True stories:
Homeless: That’s a nice bike.
Biscuit: Thank you.
H: Keep a close eye on it, if you leave it unattended I’m going to steal it.
Different H after crawling out from under a bridge on a walking trail: What’s your name?
B with my 4 year old son: Why?
H: Because I’m going to sue you!
B: For what?
H: For putting pornographic images in my head!
Another, while standing 10 feet from a cop in downtown Seattle, before it was “Legalized”:
H yelling loudly: You want to buy some weed?
B: You talking to me?
H: Yeah, you look like you need to buy some weed.
B does some self examination.
This Bum Walks Up To Me on the Street and Says…
…”I’d be an IMAO intern right now if O coulda his this Adam’s apple.”
…”I haven’t had a bite all day”, so I ran like hell because I thought he was a zombie…
This Bum Walks Up To Me on the Street and Says…
…”Brother, can you spare a dime? Wait a second, either all that inflation, brother can you spare ten bucks?”
This Bum Walks Up To Me on the Street and Says…
…”I’m not really demented, I’m just prepping for an audition for the role of Joe Biden.”
…”Hands off, you capitalist dirtbag”, so I bit him, because FAFO…
….”I know you. You taught me the proper way to use the Oxford Comma”!
… “You’re blocking traffic. Could you please move your desk off of the freeway?”
“I’m running for re-election. Can I count on your vote?”
“POOT”
“I’m from the government and I’m here to help….”
“…myself to your wallet! Hand it over, Bubba!”
True stories:
Homeless: That’s a nice bike.
Biscuit: Thank you.
H: Keep a close eye on it, if you leave it unattended I’m going to steal it.
Different H after crawling out from under a bridge on a walking trail: What’s your name?
B with my 4 year old son: Why?
H: Because I’m going to sue you!
B: For what?
H: For putting pornographic images in my head!
Another, while standing 10 feet from a cop in downtown Seattle, before it was “Legalized”:
H yelling loudly: You want to buy some weed?
B: You talking to me?
H: Yeah, you look like you need to buy some weed.
B does some self examination.
To be honest, you do.
…”Nice kitty.” I showed him how wrong he was.
This Bum Walks Up To Me on the Street and Says…
Are you, experienced?
Hi!, I’m Joe Biden.
“Contenders? Next block over.”
This bum walks up to me and says, “got any spare cash?”
Me: No. Thomas Sowell told me you bums are a blight on our city streets and the way to make you go away is … NO HANDOUTS!