North Korea is saying that any actions against it "would lead to the Third World War." I have to admit, that's actually a good idea they have. I'm tired of all these little conflicts with pissant nations, and it would nice to take out all of our enemies in one big fight. I guess the big question is what would we subtitle it? The first one was just called The World War and the second was World War II: The Germans Strike Back, but I'm not sure what we'll call this one. Maybe it could be World War III: America Finally Got Fed Up With All You Jackasses, but that's a little too long.

Well, the subtitle can wait; lets' look who the major players are. Now, as I see it, the main character is America, and Israel will be our intrepid sidekick. Europe will be like the stubborn police captain who is always yelling at us and keeping us from doing our job. Canada will be the comic relief.

As for enemies, there will be North Korea and Iraq, of course. I assume that almost all the Middle East will rally against us (they're going to have to, or audiences just aren’t going to buy the conflict). China will be the main bad guy and the final battle. I also assume there will be some betrayals on the European side, like Germany could suddenly resume their evil ways (I don't know how big of a surprise that will be). I'm not sure what side France will come down on; I assume they will surrender first just to be safe and then pick which side they ally with so they know who to surrender to. I really hope they decide to be our ally, because God knows I don't want to occupy them.

Still, there needs to be some sort of plot twist where we can't use our nukes; otherwise we'll struggle to have a runtime of any 90 minutes. Maybe China has been making a secret space laser or something.

On a side note, I assume that when we win we'll get all of the Middle East's oil and all of China's pandas, but does North Korea have anything we want? I guess we can just take their nukes to make ourselves that much more nukey.

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