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August 20th, 2004
Friday

Got up early and turned on CNN's poor substitute for FOX and Friends. Started some coffee brewing in the little coffee maker most hotel rooms have and took a shower. Then I dressed in the same clothes I wore the day before and tried to use the Delta overnight pack to make myself decent. I wasn't able to figure out the weird comb/brush it came with, and it seemed to do nothing to my head except annoy my scalp. Also, the poor razor in there ended up making my neck look like it had a close run in with Freddy Krueger.

Got to the airport and onto my flight with no problems. Actually, I got the exit row which had me board with the first class passengers and gave me plenty of leg room. The legs liked that (poor fools; they had no idea what was in store for them).

After landing in Albuquerque, I quickly made my way past security. I wondered if I would easily be able to spot SarahK, my only mental image of her being wearing a black t-shirt. We spotted each other immediately though. We had a platonic handshake and then proceeded to on with our completely platonic IMAO Employee Team-Building Trip 2004. We were out of the airport pretty quickly; apparently my luggage made the connection and was waiting for me.

First stop was to get the last of the needed hiking gear. SarahK already had most things together as it was her job, but I still needed a pack. So we headed to REI, SarahK making about three laps around 'querque before finding the destination. During that drive, she talked to a friend of hers on her cell phone. My keen cryptographic knowledge made it obvious they were talking in code about me. Nasty trickies women!

Once we went in the REI store, it became quite apparent that the 'K' in SarahK stands for Klutz as she tripped into about every supply rack in the store. While she kept picking herself off the ground, I got a bandana (you wet it to keep yourself cool or put it over your face to rob trains), a Thermorest mattress, and a two-day pack so I could carry plenty of stuff (the fool I was).

When I got to the cashier, I decided to ask him a question that had been vexing me.

"So, this 'New' Mexico - what exact improvements does it have over the previous Mexico?"

The clerk stared at me dumbly while SarahK seemed to have buried her face in the counter. Perhaps she fell on it. I then asked the clerk where the nearest Indian restaurant was so we could have some lunch. He drew us a map so exact it only took SarahK two laps around the city to find it.

Picture of Indian Restaurant

"I love Indian food!" SarahK exclaimed, "Let's get the buffet!"

"It looks expensive, but okay," I replied.

After about three bites from one plate, SarahK said, "Okay, I'm full."

"You didn't even have one plate!" I yelled, "Three plate minimum for a buffet or you're just wasting your money."

"Well, I'm full, silly head."

I filled myself between grumbling and then we headed out onto the open road towards the Grand Canyon.

SarahK Driving
Me in Shotgun (I'm wearing the hat since I was never able to comb my hair right)

On the way, there were plenty of cliffs and mountains, and I thought them so beautiful as to take some pictures. Here are a few of them:

Picture1
Picture2
Picture3

Little did I know that this was but excrement of the greater site we would see the next day.

It was a long drive, but we had plenty of music. SarahK had a large folder of burned, stolen music of the Dave Matthews Band and played some for me so I would be familiar with it in time for the concert. One song she played was "So Much to Say" which I informed her was about being gay.

"No it isn't, you goofy goof."

"Listen to the lyrics. He's singing about being stuck in a closet. He's practically hitting the listener over the head with the metaphors."

"Uh-uh. He says 'baby' in it so it’s about babies! Now you be quiet, grumpy gills!"

When we stopped for gas, we also went to a Dairy Queen for dessert.

Dairy Queen

"I love Blizzards!" SarahK squealed with glee, "Get me the biggest one they have!"

"Okay."

She took three nibbles and then said, "Okay, I had enough."

"Damn you to Hades, food waster!"

It was darker, and there was less to see. SarahK had talked about how she wanted to try out for American Idol, so I asked her to sing. She wouldn't do it, so I sang the Beatles "Rocky Raccoon." Now, it would only be proper team building if she sang too. She asked me to name a song to see if she knew the lyrics, knowing very well I hate music and can't name any songs. I asked her if she knew that overplayed song Celine Dion sang from Titanic that always made me want to claw my ears off every time I heard it.

Ha! She knew it.

SarahK made me put my hat over my face and pretend I was sleeping before she would start singing. Now, I wasn't expecting too much, having watched the usual contestants for American Idol, but SarahK sang with such beauty that I actually liked that song... whatever it’s called. Her singing was a complete joy... and then a moth the size of a fist slammed into our windshield and got stuck in the windshield wiper.

The Moth

Well, not long after I removed that mess, we were driving along the Grand Canyon, but all I could see was darkness and nothing more. Seemed to be a silly thing to go see, anyway. I mean, when you go to a mountain, you're at least seeing something - the mountain. For a canyon, you’re going to see what ain't there.

"Hey, look at all this that should be here but ain't! Isn't that beautiful?"

My thoughts on the subject were soon lost in the freezing cold. Apparently, it gets quite frigid at 8,000 feet in August. Not knowing this, I had only packed for the warmth. Hands numb and shaking, we assembled our tents at the campsite at the top of the North Rim. I told SarahK, "You know, if were in the same tent, we could share body heat to keep warm. It would work even better if we took off our clothes and..."

The slap to the face distracted me from the cold for a while longer. I got in my tent on my Thermorest mattress and SarahK gave me a very warm blanket about the size of handkerchief.

"S-So c-c-cold."

Eventually I fell asleep. Apparently I snored, and SarahK tried to wake me so I wouldn't attract bears. Luckily, neither her yelling or the bear shaking my tent roused me, and I got some sleep.

NEXT WEEK - INTO THE CANYON

UPDATE: SarahK has her version of the day up.