The Importance of Being Frank
Had my second ever run in with the law on the way back from a dinner in which I introduced SarahK to my friends. An officer pulled me over, and here is the transcript:
OFFICER: Do you know why I pulled you over?
ME: The Krispe Kreme just closed down for the night and you're bored?
OFFICER: Do you know what the speed limit is on Wickham Road?
ME: No, I usually drive too fast to be able to read the signs.
OFFICER: It's 40mph. You were going 53.
ME: Well, @%#$! It's great you stopped me, copper. I could have taken out half the county with such dangerous driving.
OFFICER: Didn't you see me on the median with the radar gun?
ME: No, but I thought I smelled bacon.
OFFICER: So what's your previous driving record?
ME: I have a couple of citations for running over dumbass cops.
OFFICER: I'll need your licenses and registration.
I fling that in his face and he goes back to his car. After a couple minutes...
ME: You fall asleep back there? Let's get this moving.
He walks back to my car.
OFFICER: Since you were honest with me, I've decided to just give you a warning.
ME: A warning? Is that like a threat? You threaten me and I'll cut you!
I then screeched my tires as I sped off.
(NOTE: Only the officer's dialogue was real. I think he gave me a break because I was so sincere/clueless. Also, I had a cute passenger.)
Stumble It!