DATELINE MESA, ARIZONA (9:25 A.M. MOUNTAIN TIME)
The Mesa, AZ Police Department has a lot of explaining to do to Blogger Overlord FrankJ because the Mesa PD has hired a capuchin monkey as the newest member of their elite SWAT team.

The Associated Press heaped praise on the varmint, noting that "dressed in a Kevlar vest, video camera, and two-way radio, the small monkey would be able to get into places no officer or robot could go."

FrankJ immediately responded to the story with: "Notice that they didn't give it a gun? The dumbest thing anyone could do is give a monkey a gun. Give a monkey a gun and who's gonna stop Earth from turning into Planet of the Apes? I mean, Chuck Heston just isn't at 100% anymore..."

Most leftist news services around the world have been largely supportive of the SWAT team monkey, but in a surprising break from the pack, the Hollywood trade mag Variety slammed the Mesa, AZ PD's choice in monkeys noting that the capuchin "got Marion Ravenwood captured by the Nazis, almost got Indiana Jones killed, and was a real pain in the neck for the entire overpaid and overrated cast of Friends."

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