The Miss America Pageant has now been moved to the Country Music Television Channel.

I'm a big fan of beauty contests. Some people say that true beauty lies on the inside, but I've noticed that only ugly people say that. Anyway, not that Miss America has left the major networks and 'gone country' I've done some digging and have learned that this pageant will be going through some changes.

Here's Ducky's Dozen:

Top Changes for Miss America Now That It's On CMT

Now on CMT, Country Music Television.

12. Judging panel use gold covered spittoons.

11. Sponsorship provided by Roadkill Helper

10. Orchestra is replaced by Mr. Earl and His Jug Town Band

9. Opening number is one big square dance

8. Kenny Chesney eligible to be a contestant

7. Moonshine Chugging Competition

6. All contestants given the middle name "Sue" or "Lou"

Announcer: "And here's our next contestant. Margarita Lou Lopez!!"

5. Bikinis replaced with Daisy Dukes

4. New, improved talent show!!

Announcer: And here’s Miss New York, Elizabeth Lou Miller!

Miss NY: At first I was going to recite poetry, but now that we’re on CMT I’d like to do some hog calling. Suweeee. Soweeee. Suweeeeeeeeeeeeee.

3. Official song becomes, “She’s purtier than my red wagon”

2. Pageant contestants would be the first people on CMT with all their teeth.

And the biggest change now that Miss America is on CMT...

1. I’ll be in my trailer means, “I’m going home”