Ahoy! Tis be Dread Pirate J. once again. I never care much for the likes of judges, but the Parliament has practically been keelhauling John Roberts, him keeping his calm through the whole ordeal. Those scallywag Democrat Senators want a judge who could look at a treasure map and discover a right for free prescription drugs, but they'll not get their wish.

So who will be the next judge to be nominated? I'll share some information I had found in a parchment from a ship we plundered. The next nominee for the Supreme Court will be...

The Uber Conservative!

Arrr!

Some say he be but legend - a tale told by those overtaken by sea-madness - but I say otherwise! An un-Godly creation he be, made from mixing the DNA of Reagan, Goldwater, William F. Buckley, and Bork and then infused with essence of dragon and woodchuck. He be so conservative, that he must be held in a sealed chamber by a strong magnetic field to keep his conservative power from breaking free and destroying everything.

Double arrr!

I hear, though, that the wily Bush will unleash him before the judicial committee. The extreme conservatism emanating from him will destroy all the Democrats in attendance. Even the blubberous Ted Kennedy will be melted to a giant pile of goo reeking of rum. Har har! A lovely site it will be.

Now where's me grog?

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